Question for older people

[cautiousswitch]

I am getting to the age where things that I thought had healed many years ago are starting to re-exert themselves.  These are major injuries, but are also all soft tissue injuries - a strained back, a sprained wrist, etc.

So I see pictures of people who have had welts pounded into them because they enjoy it now and wonder if any of this is going to come back to haunt them later.  The memory of a spanking lasting for a week may be a good thing now; when you get to your eighties and all you want to do is sit and some of those memories start to return they may not be as enjoyable.

So my question for people who have been in BDSM for a life time is do you ever have any flare ups that may be relics of more extreme play that you did when younger?

[sissy_petra_uk_slut]

I think it's the same in all walks of life. After a time our bodies do react to what we have put it through. Depending on the severity. Example, professional Footballlers often have knee problems, this was certainly compounded if *** killing injections were given, as *** stops us using that part of the body until healed, with injections it numbed the nerve, no *** but the *** is intensified. Brusing, welts etc should fade after time, but muscular injuries may well reappear. The key is to keep the body going, exercise even if its gentle, and the wear and tear effect will hold off. Joints, ligaments and discs will sooner or later suffer, its cumulative damage. So enjoy it while you can, and make the most of it while you can. Remember, we also can adapt as our bodies change. Just keep going.

[fiploss]

What do you consider older?  I am 54 and have been into this for most of my adult life.  I've taken many a beating, some to the point where I knew something went wrong.  All in all, I only have two scars on my ass that flare up from time to time and they just make it uncomfortable enough for me to not sit down.  I think back to how I got them and remember the mistress telling me how she was going to give me a beating that I would remember until I died, so far she was right...LOL.  But what a good time had by all. 

[re****]

I'm not old, but I'm older than many starting out. I came into kink, officially with pre-existing injuries including shoulder surgery which effects mobility, spine and neck injuries, arthritis, chronic knee tracking-

All those things are normal to my body, kink didn't cause them. They're things I have to work around (eg, having gear made that may protect or stabilize some areas) but it's not going to stop me.

Life took it's pieces and it's inevitable more will get taken so I'm going to enjoy every moment I plan.

[Leisa]

I don’t but I guess it depends on your definition of extreme play. I do have injuries I’ve sustained outside of play and have noticed that things that didn’t affect me before affect me now.

[Wo****]

I've had to factor in my leg. 

It's pretty much "healed" but it affects how I play. I can't kneel for long periods and my leg is slightly weaker. Restraint needs more monitoring than before and I'm now prone to cramp (one of the reasons for my Safe word, it's quicker to say red than I've got cramp) and it's in my psyche that any kind of "trouble" means red. 

I've actually used my safe word once for cramp as it hit, I yelled, during a spanking, I yelled because of cramp, not from being spanked. It's only because I said red they knew there was something wrong. I coulda yelled cramp I guess but I never thought of it. We were playing, there was something "wrong" which was sorted by me using my safe word. Works for me.

[Mo****]

What a great question to ask. With everything we do in this lifestyle, the dominant/master, IF they are taking their role seriously, should know what injuries/weaknesses their partner has, and from this, they should be risk assessing any and all intended activities for the well-being of their partner.  This is why Honest and Open communication is so important.

I refer to the comment made by fiploss.  Yes mate you may have had a good time at the time, but there should be NO long term ***.  That should be accepted by both the dominant/master and their partner.  Pushing boundaries is fine, but do I or any other dominant or master want to be responsible for our partners suffering into the later parts of their lives?  One would hope not.  What this does do is as the submissive/slave ages, is that their mind is still willing to participate but their body is not able.  Do we want to rob them of the pleasures that this life has by dishing out a rather harsh beating or something similar?

Again I refer to the comment made by Reasyn, in that she came to this life late and carrying injuries, but she does NOT want to miss out on anything which gives her so much satisfaction and contentment.  Whoever her dominant is, should be risk assessing activities to ensure her well-being and future fulfillment does NOT suffer. 

Even Leisa has come into this life with previous injuries, and at the time, I will bet that she didn't think about what long term consequences of those injuries have on her contentment in this life.

[re****]

On 6/10/2020 at 1:17 AM, MossyBoy said:

Whoever her dominant is, should be risk assessing activities to ensure her well-being and future fulfillment does NOT suffer. 

@MossyBoy

All of my play partners make accommodations and I have signals specifically for things like "my arm/shoulder needs adjusting" that don't interrupt play but pause it so the Top can make that adjustment in how they have me positioned.

 

I also have a tendency to 'drop my chin / hang my head' when having pleasure. It's just a super common thing you wouldn't think would be an issue: someone hanging their head either back or forward. For me it is, the arthritis in my neck is caused by looking down and looking up: it's a repetitive stress ***. One of my tops also happens to be a leatherworker and he's designing a specific posture collar that comes down my back, up my skull, and keeps my chin/head from dropping, thrashing, twisting, or turning in the heat of the moments. 

So yes, I and my partners value my body and we'll do whatever we must to accommodate things.

Edited June 13, 2020 by reasyn

[Deleted Member]

My sub has fibromyalgia (he’s only 34). A lot of his tasks have to do with physical labor like cleaning the house and such. Some days, he can’t do it. And I know the days he can’t. I feel like it’s my responsibility as a domme to take care of him. I think communication is key. I don’t want him to be hurting, that’s not fun for anyone.

[Ta****]

On 6/9/2020 at 2:59 PM, cautiousswitch said:

So I see pictures of people who have had welts pounded into them because they enjoy it now and wonder if any of this is going to come back to haunt them later.  The memory of a spanking lasting for a week may be a good thing now; when you get to your eighties and all you want to do is sit and some of those memories start to return they may not be as enjoyable.

So my question for people who have been in BDSM for a life time is do you ever have any flare ups that may be relics of more extreme play that you did when younger?

Well, you can get work related injuries.  Either from years of physical work, or just sitting at a computer for most of one's working life.  So I am sure that can happen if someone engages in some forms of BDSM play on a regular basis.    It's just one of those things I suppose.  I don't personally have any flare ups from any SM play, but our games were never that extreme anyway for me to sustain any lasting injuries.    Some other people might have residual problems, I don't know!

[Matt63]

There should be very little risk of serious *** sustained during bdsm  play as long as it is safe, sane and consensual and the Dom(me) has undertaken adequate research and/or training. In 40 years I have only witnessed 2 incidents that have produced permanent problems. One was during rope suspension that went wrong causing permanent spinal difficulties. The other was botched breath play resulting in psychological problems. Both were caused by inexperienced Dommes who had not had adequate trading or supervision.

I have also heard of some severe *** caused by excessive anal penetration that has had long term effects.

Bear in mind that a sub can often beg a Dom for more extreme punishment to fulfill a fantasy and it is up to the Dom to take control and sometimes exercise constraint and common sense for his/her protection as well as the subs.

BDSM is no different to any other activity in life....if you are reckless or careless problems can arise.  

Age inevitably catches up with us all and we are not as supple or as strong and agile as we used to be. The skin becomes thinner and we bleed  and bruise more easily. We take longer to recover and need to rest more often. But as you get older you adapt how you play to suit your changed circumstances.

Take care and play safe.

 

[Dearelliot]

I'm 86 and meet with mistresses, at least I did before  covid. I move slower, not into ropes etc, obedience rather, I do as  I'm told, so bondage isn't necessary. Getting up and down takes a bit more time, you adapt.

[sm****]

Sad fact of life we all get older, and things we done as a youngster don't register till we get past a certain age.  I for one had quite a few major injuries when in the services, that have only come back to haunt me in later life.  Limits things in a small way i could have done 10-20 years ago without thinking.

Iv'e been lucky enough not to have been injured during play in a long lasting way, but i can understand how some injuries could last or not take effect for years to come as our body naturally ages and starts to creak a bit.

I take pre precautions before major play i.e make sure certain joints are warmed up and not over tasked, and afterwards I know for a day I can't do some of the normal things in life without some kniggling factor, so i always make sure afterwards im not having to walk far and I am able to chill/rest up.

[Blendergod]

The key is do stretching every morning before go out of house, if body lets you