Why am I the bad person?

[TemptressM]

So as a Dominant about 99% of the messages that I receive are from submissive's.  Now sometimes its a simple hello nothing else but most of the time its them asking to be my slave or sub.  So my question is when I say no why am I then the bad person.  I had one tell me to read his profile to get to know him and when I said no,  I get called Lazy and blocked.  

I have no problem talking or chatting with anyone but at least put some effort into the messages you are sending please, then maybe I will reply. 

[Deleted Member]

It tends to be the way, that lots of people have a very high sense of entitlement, and can only really se the world through their own eyes. Lots of deluded people who feel like they are owed something.

[Deleted Member]

im pretty sure it's a mixture of rejection and just thinking about one thing so to speak

[TemptressM]

I get the rejection part but all I am asking for is to be seen as more than an object to wank over. 

Ive spoken to some wonderful people on here and made friends all starting from that one message. 

[sissy_petra_uk_slut]

Ignore them, they must think they have a divine right to anything they want. Shows how submissive they really are.

[Deleted Member]

38 minutes ago, TemptressM said:

I had one tell me to read his profile to get to know him and when I said no,  I get called Lazy and blocked.  

I have no problem talking or chatting with anyone but at least put some effort into the messages you are sending please, then maybe I will reply. 

I don't personally know why he would say you are lazy and block you but I do know that when reading some profiles even when they are well written it can be frustrating that there is not a "hook point" for further conversation, even when feeling that you have compatible interests and personalities. So it seems natural to say "hey would you take a look at my profile" to demonstrate that there's more to you than a one liner, there just isn't something else immediately interesting to say. I think people who get more messages than they send (not necessarily you per se) often expect this intelligent, witty opener and that the sender will get this simply from reading the profile. But you try sending more messages yourself and you realise that these amazing lines don't really exist.

[Wo****]

I get a lot of messages like that too... and I'm a submissive!

 

I had one guy who was quite put out that I didn't want a dick pic and I was being "unfriendly" to a newbie by refusing to go on cam with him. He just wanted to "serve" me.

[Wo****]

2 minutes ago, BlushingFlush said:

I don't personally know why he would say you are lazy and block you but I do know that when reading some profiles even when they are well written it can be frustrating that there is not a "hook point" for further conversation, even when feeling that you have compatible interests and personalities. So it seems natural to say "hey would you take a look at my profile" to demonstrate that there's more to you than a one liner, there just isn't something else immediately interesting to say. I think people who get more messages than they send (not necessarily you per se) often expect this intelligent, witty opener and that the sender will get this simply from reading the profile. But you try sending more messages yourself and you realise that these amazing lines don't really exist.

"Just thought id say Hello.. I read your profile. Like (insert whatever here) about it. How are you doing?"

Rather than "i wanna be your slave. Let's talk off site"

 

Messages don't have to be witty, or interesting, just normal would do tbh.

[TemptressM]

I don't expect a witty one liner but I do expect for someone to at least want to talk,  if they get past the first few messages then I will read the profile,   but coming right out and asking to be my sub and when I say no because they are a stranger , then asking me to read the profile rather than speaking to me,   that makes them Lazy in my opinion 

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

"Just thought id say Hello.. I read your profile. Like (insert whatever here) about it. How are you doing?"

Rather than "i wanna be your slave. Let's talk off site"

Messages don't have to be witty, or interesting, just normal would do tbh.

I don't think she said this guy specifically wanted to be her slave, that was a different user. Anyway, what you said is a message I would personally respond to but some would say it's not enough because all the people that message them online means they seek more of a demonstration of quality.

Edited June 10, 2020 by Deleted Member

[TemptressM]

1 minute ago, BlushingFlush said:

I don't think she said this guy specifically wanted to be her slave, that was a different user. Anyway, what you said is a message I would personally respond to but some would say it's not enough because all the people that message them online means they seek more of a demonstration of quality.

He did that was the first message, I said no because he was a stranger,  he then told me to go read his profile rather than actually chatting to try and change my mind, then called me lazy because i said no and blocked me 

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, TemptressM said:

He did that was the first message, I said no because he was a stranger,  he then told me to go read his profile rather than actually chatting to try and change my mind, then called me lazy because i said no and blocked me 

Oh right, I see.

[ey****]

I think this is a prime example (especially for some of the guys on the thread) of entitlement and idiocy a lot of ladies receive

Also. If your instinct reaction is to be an arse when someone says 'no' to you, then she was right to say no to you!  

[cautiousswitch]

Misinterpretation.

Your profile mentions that you plan on moving to where some of your pets live and that you plan on getting involved in the local community and people interpret it as if you are actively looking for more subs.  In their mind they are responding to this and when you say no you have wasted their time.

 

[Mr_KinkyPickles]

I like the dynamic - a sub getting riled about a dom saying no. Not a great start is it?

[Dreamaway]

I get quite the opposite although they tend to be fakes and scammers. They assume I want to be a sub and if I try to enter into conversation to see if there might be a connection they start calling me rude for even asking where they are. Then the tribute or upfront payment or must buy a kit s***ch starts...BLOCKED

[Deleted Member]

I only eve get scams unleas i message first andni have to say, i screw with the scammers because its fun and they are dumb

[Mo****]

I am dominant, and I get so many messages from all types wanting to chat.  When I check out their profile I find they are dominants as well, wanting a sub or slave.  I write back and tell them to read my profile.  Why waste time wanting to chat with anyone when a simple read will tell you there is no compatibility.  It is not a matter of being lazy!

If a dominant wants to talk with me, then wouldn't they earn much more respect if they said something along the line of, 'I have read your profile, and like what I see, but I have also noticed we are both doms' sort of thing.  This tells me the person wants to chat with like minded people without some sort of motive other than wanting a friendship.

[Cade]

You may be experiencing a sort of cultural ignorance. I know you a little better than this single post, being familiar in chat, and I perceive you more of a lifestyle individual, meaning that for you, "dominant" is the way you live your life and not just a part of scene play. This seems like it's rare, and perhaps the individuals that message you are more accustomed to dealing with the often more casual, scene-type only dominant, which may manifest any mentality outside their scenes. Of course, I'm not suggesting one way is better or worse, they just carry different expectations; there are many different levels of participation in this lifestyle! That's okay, but crossover is often difficult.

[TokinSmurf]

there are a lot of people with minimal logic abilities out there, with global connection, it is unevitable you will run into those folks, especially when dealing with online cummunities of this nature. This is where those angry, lonely, desperate folks tend to congregate. They kinda ruin in for those of us who are genuinely looking to just meet and greet and be decent people who share similar interests...such as is the internet...hope you fair better going forward, goodluck

[Leisa]

Temptress I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this level of rudeness. It seems like the younger individuals entering into the BDSM lifestyle have a feeling of entitlement that they automatically have earned the same level as those who have actively lived it. As a sub I used to get the nastiest messages from people offering to be my sub or slave or those claiming I was to be their sub immediately. I honestly don’t think those sending those types of messages even open a profile and if they do it’s to scope out photos and not try to learn anything about the individual behind the profile. It had gotten so bad I didn’t even look at messages anymore because it was more of the same bs. You’re a strong, beautiful woman who knows exactly what she wants. If someone can’t understand that then it’s their loss. I think some of the newer generation don’t think it’s important to get to know someone before asking to be their sub or Dom. This to me is sad for them because they will never be able to fit in. Chin up lady. You’re not lazy, you’re not mean, and you deserve the best submissive available who fits in with you and your life.

[Deleted Member]

Your far from a bad person, many want the rewards this scene can offer but they want it on a plate. Try not to let them bother you 😊

[ey****]

3 hours ago, Cade said:

perhaps the individuals that message you are more accustomed to dealing with the often more casual, scene-type only dominant, which may manifest any mentality outside their scenes.

which would still be the wrong way to approach someone

[Ky****]

possibly because some people see Domme as a short hand for professional dominatrix and then think that they can make all kinds of demands, which probably means that they haven't interacted with the professionals beyond reading a profile saying 'slaves wanted' or similar either otherwise they'd know that doesn't work under those circumstances either, its the old I'm special give me what I want syndrome manifested in a slightly different way by calling themselves a slave, what they really mean is they want a one off beating or whatever from a prostitute and think that because a lady calls herself a Domme or a Mistress that they are part of the sex trade and the writer can treat them as they wish while also being too cheap to pay the professionals-who usually won't put up with bs either

[Cade]

51 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

which would still be the wrong way to approach someone

Haha, totally agree. But if you're not use to dominants correcting you, you might be sorely surprised when you come across one that does!