Funishment vs Punishment

[Th****]

I thought I would share my reasoning on my outlook on punishment and Funishment, and as I do so it is written with a submissive with some masochistic tendencies in mind. Don't recoil at that enjoying a spanking  counts as a masochistic tendency for the sake of this piece.

Funishment:

Funishment is giving someone who enjoys a spanking a spanking, or someone that enjoys nipple play nipple play, or indeed whatever there preferences are. The aim is to separate the fact that they are being punished from the fact they are being played with. Now don't get be wrong here, it can be more fun to pick a spurious reason for it if that helps your funishment scene to run better. Just as long as everyone knows it is not for something major.

My submissive is a Brat and I love her for it so she always ensures that there a plenty of reasons for funishment. This in turn brings out my Dominant side more as I have no shortage of reasons to be dastardly.

 

Punishment:

Actually punishing someone for doing something wrong can, in my view cause some issues if you are with a masochist. Any *** is likely to be funishment for them.  Let us presume that a submissive really breaks a big rule and so you give her a very hard spanking even a cropping. While this may hurt a great deal, the chances are that you are positively reinforcing the bad behaviour. (Let me apologise to any submissives reading this here as it may sound a bit like dog training and I really do think you are fully rounded individuals. Honest I do )

So how do you punish someone without them enjoying it? 

We really do not want to encourage the behaviour that we are punishing for so giving a submissive a reward is counter productive and could well end up reinforcing that bad behaviour. 

So actual punishments are going to have to be boring maybe with a twist. One of my favoured ones is the submissive standing naked facing the wall, holding a coin against it with her nose for a set time. If she drops the coin it adds more time. 

If they have been really bad then copying out a text book in long hand. (A paragraph or page etc. not the whole book.)

Do you see the theme here they are boring, boring, boring and most people hate boredom and really do not want to have to do them twice. (Leisa I have a whole list dear, but I am not giving away all my surprises.)

 

Naturally there will come a point when issues occur and neither Punishment or Funishment is appropriate. Then you will need to sit down as equals and discuss the issue and make sure both sides are heard and validated. After all communication is one of the key tenants of our lifestyles.

In the mean time have fun coming up with new ideas punishment and funishment ideas and revisiting old ones.

*Goes to clean the naughty step*

[li****]

I really appreciate the way your explained this.

[Leisa]

Mmmmmm I so love my funishments but I would never ever be a brat 😜. Ok I’m a brat just not to the point that I’d need punishment as correction because while I kick that line and occasionally jump over it, it’s not to the point of needing anything more than a crop on my behind 🤤🤤.
Seriously though there will come a time where real punishment is needed and I dread the day I have to stand naked against the wall holding a coin or worse yet write paragraphs of text. I know there’s an entire list of other punishments that are far worse as we’ve discussed a few of them and I didn’t like any of those any better.
I think what the Admiral is trying to say is that with a brat it’s important that one’s Dominate be such so as not to feed into such behaviors. I’m admittedly a brat who’s also a bit of a masochist so traditional methods do not curb my behavior unless it’s a pretty steep *** of the rules.It feels like funishment to me. It usually doesn’t happen because we talk daily and my brat need for his attention is met but I’m sure the day will come when I will need something other than whoops behind me.
You don’t have to be a brat to use these methods. Funishment is exactly what it sounds like. It’s meant to be a form of deterrence that others may view as punishment but to the person on the receiving end it tends to be enjoyable. Such is where Admiral came up with the term. On the other hand punishment is meant to be just what the traditional definition means.

[ey****]

Sometimes a suitable punishment can be the withdrawal of something fun or an enjoyed activity.

Or revocation of privileges. 

But a lot depends on the structure of the relationship.

Playing-for-punishment can be both fun and annoying - so, it's definitely important to have a definite 'no' in there.

[cautiousswitch]

On 6/17/2020 at 9:47 AM, Leisa said:

Mmmmmm I so love my funishments but I would never ever be a brat 😜. Ok I’m a brat just not to the point that I’d need punishment as correction because while I kick that line and occasionally jump over it, it’s not to the point of needing anything more than a crop on my behind 🤤🤤.
 

This is where the line between the two starts to blur.  For some people a part of funishment is being told that they are being punished.  For some people it's the thrill that a funishment can be turned into a punishment.  Other people want the two so completely separated that there is a clear distinction between playtime funishment and punishment. 

It all goes back to getting to know each other and proper communication beforehand to know your funishments from your punishments. 

[Leisa]

1 hour ago, cautiousswitch said:

This is where the line between the two starts to blur.  For some people a part of funishment is being told that they are being punished.  For some people it's the thrill that a funishment can be turned into a punishment.  Other people want the two so completely separated that there is a clear distinction between playtime funishment and punishment. 

It all goes back to getting to know each other and proper communication beforehand.

Actually I hate punishment and have never had the crop anywhere. My sense of masochism only comes out in play and frankly, having never having had a crop used in me, having one used as a form of punishment is not a fun thought nor is it something I want to experiment with. Our funishment is only used to be playful, I do know where that line in the proverbial sand has been drawn, and I absolutely do try to avoid it. My brattiness always comes in the form of the playful. I respect Admiral and the thought of disappointing him is enough to deter me from going too far. I’m not saying all brats are like myself as I know there are brats out there without my sense of adventure or fun. Those I wouldn’t necessarily call brats but rather another title. I don’t have to try to get attention as I’m given attention as often as I need it though I’m always up for a prank or two as they illicit a laugh or two. I know the change of the timber of his voice and the raised eyebrow to know it’s time to stop playing around and get serious because if the silence comes before words are spoken punishment will surely follow. I should have chosen my wording and thoughts more carefully as there are very young, inexperienced submissives out there who are learning and will think they can continue pushing limits is the name of fun. There’s being a brat to be funny and there are those being a brat just to be a brat who don’t know that a brat is supposed to know when it’s time to be serious. My brattiness stops timely and would never cross the line into the playroom. I respect and love my Dominant and his authority over me and my actions. As I said there is a brat for the sake of laughter who knows when to quit and then there are brats who are total brats who continually push the line never stopping to think how they’re affecting their dominant and his/her wellbeing both emotionally and physically. One simply has to know when it’s time to not be bratty.

[Th****]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Sometimes a suitable punishment can be the withdrawal of something fun or an enjoyed activity.

Or revocation of privileges. 

But a lot depends on the structure of the relationship.

Playing-for-punishment can be both fun and annoying - so, it's definitely important to have a definite 'no' in there.

Very good point. 

I totally agree, the revocation of various things can be far worse than an imposition of some punishments.  

It most certainly depends on how you structure your dynamic, otherwise it is all going to go sideways.

I think that definite No is when that "Dom voice" comes in, or possibly that look.  

[Th****]

3 hours ago, cautiousswitch said:

This is where the line between the two starts to blur.  For some people a part of funishment is being told that they are being punished.  For some people it's the thrill that a funishment can be turned into a punishment.  Other people want the two so completely separated that there is a clear distinction between playtime funishment and punishment. 

It all goes back to getting to know each other and proper communication beforehand.

Absolutely, it is always communication. 

You are right with that point, there is a point where it is valid to turn what was a punishment into a funishment. From a personal perspective I think for a serious infraction I would hesitate before turning punishment into funishment, just because I do want to leave the impression of "Oh hell, I don't want to do that again."

For something less important though the two could very easily flow together, and of course everyone's experience and dynamic is different.

If there is one thing I will argue for it is for our right to live our dynamics our own way.

[Th****]

1 hour ago, Leisa said:

I respect Admiral and the thought of disappointing him is enough to deter me from going too far.

I think a part of using a punishment is to stop your submissive from beating themselves up for disappointing their Dominant. The punishment draws a line under the episode, and afterwards it the sub no longer has to feel bad, She has made up for the infraction.

2 hours ago, Leisa said:

As I said there is a brat for the sake of laughter who knows when to quit and then there are brats who are total brats who continually push the line never stopping to think how they’re affecting their dominant and his/her wellbeing both emotionally and physically. One simply has to know when it’s time to not be bratty.

Bearing in mind just as all Dominants are different so are all brats.

I think the best measure of when is too far I have come across is this:

When your Dominant finds it amusing - It is bratting in a D/s context.

When it is annoying your Dominant - It is defiance.

Mind you it can be fun when you jump over that line, which is why you have not held a coin against a wall yet Tink.

[mu****]

This is really well put!!! I’m a sub and a dog trainer, and what you said is quite accurate. And rein***rs apply to all ***s, including us even if we think we are superior and evolved. I try to use rein***rs with clients all the time.

[Th****]

3 hours ago, mumbai482 said:

This is really well put!!! I’m a sub and a dog trainer, and what you said is quite accurate. And rein***rs apply to all ***s, including us even if we think we are superior and evolved. I try to use rein***rs with clients all the time.

I am glad that you took that as it was intended mumbai and that you enjoyed the perspective. 

I agree that we are all at heart ***s and we react and condition in much the same way. As you quite rightly said it is very tempting to see ourselves a superior though on the whole we are surprisingly similar.