Master slave dynamic

[Deleted Member]

I recently read more and more about women looking for a Master or want to be a slave? Some even classified themselves as a slave when they just discovered bdsm? 
Not sure they know much about the dynamic or what kind of life it mean, but they should read first about what kind of lifestyle it is.

Start as a submissive then maybe in 5 years you could be a slave if you still want to. 

[TemptressM]

I think the problem is, is that they don't know the difference.  They believe being a sub and a slave are the same dynamics when they are completely different.

They don't bother to read up on anything and jump in with both feet. 

Maybe we should have them do a test lol 

[ey****]

guys are often just as bad

I think partially is a lot of people come in with little/no/wrong understanding - and I think this is why it's good to keep pumping in the positive rein***ments to help people know what it's really like 

[Goldenrich]

Totally agree

[Deleted Member]

48 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

guys are often just as bad

I think partially is a lot of people come in with little/no/wrong understanding - and I think this is why it's good to keep pumping in the positive rein***ments to help people know what it's really like 

I agree and I was relating what Leocadio suggesting about a new Education idea On the site 

[Cade]

I think we have to be careful about this type of outside judgement of others. Let's use the same situation, but a different activity to represent what I mean: rope play. Very common, people see lots of pretty pictures, think they're totally into it before ever trying it. They may join a site like this and immediately want to try rope play and even call themselves a "rope bunny". Would you get critical and dismissive of them, telling them they don't know what they're talking about?
People CAN have interests before trying something. But I think we all agree, only experience is knowing. There are many people that might exemplify the concept of internal enslavement, a mental condition that has rather little direct correlation to BDSM, until these individuals find us. They are allured by m/s dynamics, and too often the community is quick to try to dissuade where we should be offering support.

[Deleted Member]

The difference is that a rope bunny will quickly realise if the rigger is experience, capable  and knowledgeable. 
A bottom who want to be a slave because it’s sound sexy and good might be involved in a rather unpleasant experience if found in a pretend Master... 

It’s not judgement but a warning for the one who define wrongly what they want to be.

[Deleted Member]

23 minutes ago, Cade said:They are allured by m/s dynamics, and too often the community is quick to try to dissuade where we should be offering support.

You will find in my post that I clearly said they should learn... this site is full of informations.

i love my community enough to warn that this kind of mistake might direct them the wrong hands... 

[Cade]

14 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

The difference is that a rope bunny will quickly realise if the rigger is experience, capable  and knowledgeable. 

Yes, they may suffer joint stress, damaged nerves, even death. All very serious and very real possible outcomes.

 

15 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

A bottom who want to be a slave because it’s sound sexy and good might be involved in a rather unpleasant experience if found in a pretend Master... 

Yes, or with the message the community is putting out, may never even try it out of *** and misinformation, literally denying them their happiness.

17 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

It’s not judgement but a warning for the one who define wrongly what they want to be.

 

13 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

You will find in my post that I clearly said they should learn... this site is full of informations.

i love my community enough to warn that this kind of mistake might direct them the wrong hands... 

No doubt, and not accusing you of it. However, I am saying we need to be careful with the message we are sending out. Your message does seem to imply that you can't really have a slave mentality joining the community, and we need to be open to people having experience before they enter the community.

I think this also represents another issue; if you're not into m/s (or may even have a negative perception of them), you've never experienced it firsthand, how can you teach about it? That sort of seems like the blind leading the blind. (Generic use "you", not you specifically. I obviously don't know your lifestyle and I am not try to make assumptions.)

4 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

Not sure they know much about the dynamic or what kind of life it mean, but they should read first about what kind of lifestyle it is.

Unfortunately, sometimes reading is where the issue comes in, because reading is not experiencing. Reading alone may well fuel the fantasies! Keeping with your point, a person can read about being a slave for years, but they can never really know what it is to be a slave until they actually experience it for themselves. The message I'm seeing a lot is "DON'T TRY IT!" Sadly, this is more often than not coming from individuals that have no experience or only limited negative experience (or just the horror stories they read about the lifestyle).

[Deleted Member]

I agree here, i agree there... Do you guys really think of yourself like - you've made BDSM - and are the creators of the thinking itself? I mean really, you handshake yourself into your "own little world" of thoughts. And yeah, maybe the one or the other agrees, but mannnnn, step into reality!
Our wishes and imaginations are - our wishes and our imaginations - nothing else. If someone likes an idea, the person has a imagination of it. He/She likes his/her own idea of something. Maybe because he/she read a book, saw a movie or listened to someone else, that described an experience. There is a huge difference between this and the reality of things, since everyone has their own world with individual pictures of the whole thing. Being a slave or just a submissive person is for everyone something else and here and there, at some points we agree on something with someone. But that does not mean it's the real thing for everyone. The one slave does not like to be captured in a rough manner, deep in the park at night. Another thinks that is essential, because he/she likes to get ***d into something, wants to struggle, fight and get physically taken. The one does not like the idea being chained to a wall in a dungeon and another one thinks that is a must have, to feel like a slave. One thinks it's enough to being imprisoned in one of those fancy nice BDSM cages, another thinks that's just stupid and feels like it's just some kind of acting.

So maybe, just maybe... there is no line at all?!
Why should we have to know a difference or should have - experience - with something, to find ourselves in the "right" situation to be what we feel we are? Do we need a schooling in how to become a "real" slave now? And do we need a schooling in how to be "the right" dominant person?

I agree on one thing here, that everyone should focus on learning some things, to prevent mistakes like physical or mental damage. But that's really it...
If a person wants to get chained up, i'm happy to do so, just because - this person - likes it and i like it to. But that has nothing to do with the fact that another person dislikes it, but is still a slave and does without any kind of punishment whatever i tell her.

In the last few weeks there are a lot of topics here, where people tell - this is how it has to be, behave like this, hear on that, *** this, be aware of that also... and so on. It reminds me of the so called - BDSM bible - that DOES NOT EXIST! And it never should...

[Ky****]

maybe need more guidelines generally, like others I'm still confused as to different types f submission, or maybe its a case of labels encouraging laziness, oh I want to be a slave or glad you want a slave here I am Master/Mistress rather than right I'm into the following forget what labels say have a look for those Dominants who are into inflicting compatible things rather than worrying about terms like slave, after all that word covers such a range of possibilities that its as meaningless as saying I'm a sub and jumping on the first Dominant whose profile crops up and assuming that you must be compatible

 

[John863-5309]

20 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

I recently read more and more about women looking for a Master or want to be a slave? Some even classified themselves as a slave when they just discovered bdsm? 
Not sure they know much about the dynamic or what kind of life it mean, but they should read first about what kind of lifestyle it is.

Start as a submissive then maybe in 5 years you could be a slave if you still want to. 

Thank you so much for starting this thread, pal. We need to talk more about this 

[Deleted Member]

24 minutes ago, Kymi said:

rather than worrying about terms like slave, after all that word covers such a range of possibilities that its as meaningless as saying I'm a sub and jumping on the first Dominant whose profile crops up and assuming that you must be compatible

 

Actually kymi it’s not really right. slave is a specific dynamic that shouldn’t be taken lightly, it’s a choice of living it 24/7 without any control. So first to find a Master for this type of relationship is very difficult as it involve lots of responsibilities and experience. A real slave won’t progress or achieve her happiness without it. 

If one can’t understand this simple principle it don’t understand the basic of bdsm. It’s not about a bible it’s about respect for the one who chose this lifestyle path. 

[Deleted Member]

Bit bemused by the comments about this site scaring people off and being dogmatic about labels. Not seeing that. Fab’s post encourages people to learn. There is a marked difference between sub and slave. I was a newbie last year and I so wish there had been posts like this then. Because I was taken advantage of. More than once. I needed to take responsibility for my own needs and educate myself. Not just to stay safe, but to enjoy the journey.

[Ky****]

I know there's a marked difference between sub and slave, what I was wondering was whether the term slave itself covers many terms, after all there are still different kinds of slavery so maybe the term itself is too broad which is what I meant by labels.

totally agree its a good and necessary thread, thanks Fab for it.

 

[MasterJAK50]

Hello everyone.  I'm new to this site, but not new to the Master/slave lifestyle.  I've been a Master for 28+ years and I remember when I first got into the lifestyle.  People unfamiliar in the various BDSM lifestyles were introduced to the lifestyles via someone already into one of the lifestyles.  Much like I was.  I was 23 and recently divorced when I met a Master who had multiple slaves who agreed to teach me the ropes of the Master/slave relationship.  Finding newbie slaves and experienced slaves in the past was much different than today.  In this day of the internet with social media and blogs and the movie industry delving more into what was once taboo in public, there have been a larger amount of people that are curious about the BDSM world.  I have been on many different kink websites and once you weed out the fakes and  scammers to the real people,  I have found that real slaves are almost impossible to find these days because they dont know what a real Master/slave relationship is. 

And unfortunately with all the publicity, it has given many the wrong perception of many of the different BDSM lifestyles.  I have lived the true M/s lifestyle.  Not a Dom/submissive or a Ddlg.  But I hear from most that there is no difference between the lifestyles.  That all Doms or Daddies are Masters and that all submissives are slaves.  This is a classic misconception.  A real Master/slave relationship is not the 50 Shades of Grey movie.  The movie uses the terms Master and slave, but in all realities, the movie is a Dom/submissive type relationship.  Another misconception that the so called slaves today think is they are paid to be slaves and that it is a free ride for the slave.  I have never paid for a slave.  In the real Master/slave relationship there is no monetary compensation for voluntary servitude. 

When meeting new potential slaves online I have a number of questions I use to vent out the subs and the slaves.  But I tell every potential slave the same thing to see who might be serious about being a slave.  Here is what I tell them:

I require my slave to be domestic and sexual services. She must obey and follow all the rules and protocols set forth by her Master which is clearly defined in the contract.   I will only take a slave for 24/7 TPE long term contract.  She must complete the Questionnaire for a Potential slave before i take ownership of my slave and collar my slave.  Master makes all decisions for the slave.   what she wears, eats, where she works, makeup she uses, who she talks  to, her friends, everything is decided for her.  she voluntarily and willingly submits herself to a lifetime of servitude.  she does this because she knows that her Master knows what is best for her.  the Master in turn makes sure the slave is taken care of physically, emotionally, and mentally.   to be a slave is to live in a strict but caring lifestyle under direct control of her Master.  it doesn't  matter  how rich a Master is, as long as the slave trusts her Masters care of her.  a slave must be honest, respectful, loyal, and very obedient at all times.  A slave must know her place in the M/s relationship in private and in public.  She will understand that in the dynamics of the the M/s relationship to be loved by her Master and her Master being in love with her are 2 different things.  I believe and follow the 1950's lifestyle with a modern day perception.  My slave must work outside the house to help with the household finances and her maintenance costs.

I am a strict Master. I do believe in disaplain and punishments for my slave when she is disrespectful, dishonest,  or disobedient towards her Master.  I have protocols that must be adhered to at all times in public and private.  I expect my slave to learn the 12 body positions for a slave.  If I were to consider you as my slave, you will be required to complete a questionnaire, read and agree to the rules, protocols,  limits,  and boundaries that will be put in place by a written contract. 

I make no  financial  assistance to a potential slave until I take physical ownership of my slave.   I will only cover the cost of the airline ticket to bring my slave to me.  once a contract is signed the training begins and the lifestyle is en***d.   a slave chooses to live in this lifestyle.   she is not ***d in any way.  Is this the type of relationship that you are willing to live in as a slave?

 

To some this may seem like alot to tell someone who is considering being a slave.  But my teacher did this with all his slaves and everyone I know he taught to become Masters or Mistresses do this also.  It does make the potential slave think very carefully what they are getting in to.  No there is no Bible for this lifestyle, but it is a very distinctive and strict lifestyle to be in.  For those that have taken the time to read my post, you can see the Master/slave lifestyle is not a Dom/submissive or Ddlg or like any other BDSM lifestyle.  Negotiations for the Master/slave relationship are only done when the contract is being signed, not each time you go to the bedroom.  It is full time, 24/7, TPE.  Many of the other lifestyles may use the terms Master and slave, but the similarities stop there.  A true slave knows that she wants and will voluntarily submit servitude to her Master.  I hope that my own experience and insights into the Master/slave lifestyle relationship will help others or atleast show that the Master/slave lifestyle is not the same as the other BDSM lifestyles and that all the lifestyles in BDSM should be researched and respected as separate lifestyles from each other before someone just jumps into a lifestyle. Thank you for starting this discussion and thank you to all those who contribute to and live the BDSM lifestyles to their truest values.