Ownership

[Deleted Member]

Recently I have had many approach looking for ownership right away. This is a red flag to me that either they are new OR they don’t know any better. So let me clarify what I do.

In order for me to give ownership a potential must server me under consideration for a year and a day. Ownership should never be handed freely. It is to be worked for and achieved.

Think of ownership like marriage. Rarely do people get married on day one. There is a period they get to know each other, a period of engagement and THEN marriage. Ownership works the same way.

Disclaimer: This is MY opinion from MY experience. You are entitled to your own but keep comments and discussion respectful. Thank you for reading.

[Cade]

This is a topic constantly argued with no real endgame. Ultimately, we have to remember that for some people, this is all just role play and merely kinky sex, in which case, the titles are more a point of arousal and not earned. You will attract these types and they might not understand the difference so it up to us to educate, spread awareness, and most of all, be tolerant of other's idealism - as it may be the only level of participation they can consider.
Likewise, it's good to remember there are many different ways to live this lifestyle. Speaking from my own modality, I don't even consider an individual as my submissive for a year, at which point they are collared and begin slave training, which lasts at least seven years before being branded my property. Of course, my dynamic is best described as CNC TPE/TAT ("no limits" basically). Before I allow anyone accept my brand, it is my responsibility to make sure they understand what they are endeavoring.
Of course, just because my methodology and invested time requirements are different than yours, certainly doesn't give me the right to belittle your process. And only right, we need to extend the same respect to those that have no desire to live this as a lifestyle or at our level of participation.

Edited June 25, 2020 by Cade

[Deleted Member]

First off, thank you for your perspective. The thread was started in hopes that it would bring out other points of view without fighting.
My intent is simply this:
Just because I do not match with one view and may not agree...does not mean I will not be respectful....to take the time to stop and listen to a difference view.

Again thank you for taking the time to read and put your perspective here!

[be****]

Hey, what is ownership?

[Tig82]

I think ownership can be seen differently depending on your dynamic, myself I have a job and commitments that I cannot and will not walk away from so any of my kinks etc have to work around that. The right mistress would understand and think comparing it to a marriage is close enough as it's a negotiation from both and finding an amicable middle ground etc, I want to know my mistress well and know we are a good fit first, like the people close to me some things remind me of them and i know what they like, I want the same with a mistress but deeper as she will be the only one to have full access to everything about me, except work (client confidenciality of course hahaha)

[Deleted Member]

15 hours ago, QueenFaeV said:

Recently I have had many approach looking for ownership right away. This is a red flag to me that either they are new OR they don’t know any better. So let me clarify what I do.

In order for me to give ownership a potential must server me under consideration for a year and a day. Ownership should never be handed freely. It is to be worked for and achieved.

Think of ownership like marriage. Rarely do people get married on day one. There is a period they get to know each other, a period of engagement and THEN marriage. Ownership works the same way.

Disclaimer: This is MY opinion from MY experience. You are entitled to your own but keep comments and discussion respectful. Thank you for reading.

I can understand your thinking, but also think a slave can be willing to commit instantly, after all, the idea of being a slave is to be owned. Getting to know somebody and building a relationship is great, for a marriage, but being a slave is not the same as being a husband. If a sub is willing to give themselves over to serve immediatley,  the chances are they see it as a lifestyle, not a kink. It can be frustrating on both sides of the situation, plenty of people claim to be sub, with no intention of ever being enslaved, Plenty of false dommes claim to want a sub, but only want *** or cam fun

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for that point of view @Puppyplaything. I know there is a major difference in hierarchy when it comes to husband and slave. But both are devoted to Mistress in their own way. Both are committed for a life time.
Again Thank you because sometimes I forget that subs/slaves also get scammed in all this as well.

[ey****]

I think there are different scenarios which can work.   Obviously as said there are lots of people with different ideas which are all valid as of whether someone wants to be 'a slave' or owned for 2 weeks, 2 years or just tonight.  

I do think that's something where the would be slave needs to be clear in their approach - and also potentially look at who they are approaching.

But also.

The idea that someone would want ownership straight from the bat is a flag.  A sub willing to give themselves over immediately - whatever they see it as they're coming from the wrong angle because as well as the time it takes for the Dominant to get to know *them* the same is true the other way.   On one hand it's reckless to give yourself over immediately on another it reads "anyone will do" and that's no way to make someone feel special.  It's also more likely to result in an ill-fitting partnership that won't last.

[Deleted Member]

I just had a discussion about this, ownership for me personally doesn’t come over night. Unless it’s a casual in the moment thing or over a short period of time. Even then you as a Dom can inflict a lot of damage in even a span of 20 mins to a s-type that is giving up ownership. Nothing should come without communication between both parties. Also depends on what level of ownership is being demanded.

[do****]

I’m typically not a femdom who does long term kinkships with bottoms because I don’t possess the mental energy to constantly be engaged by one individual. However, I definitely see what you’re saying. When it comes to whether I fwy in the kink community, where for myself or for my fiancé, I wait 90 days. People are not always who they seem to be in the beginning and I feel like no one I’ve dismissed was ever able to keep it up for more than 90 days before red flags popped up.