New and struggling to accept who I am

[Newbie1984]

Thanks that is really helpful! I've been really careful making sure I listen to her too. She says she's happy with just straight vanilla sex but says that what turns her on most is me enjoying it so I'm cautiously optimistic.

I like the idea of picking one night a week where it's a day we explore things. I might suggest a weekend evening. I've got *** from a previous relationship but they give us more of a rest weekend mornings so won't matter if we're up a bit later. That's a great suggestion. I'll keep you updated!

[Deleted Member]

You never should hide who you are and struggle with it! I, like you, have a very demanding job and it takes a lot out of me. While I was with my previous dominant it felt so amazing to let go. It also felt very comforting to know he was always there to give me that grounding that I needed. 

Please keep positive! There could be many reasons she hasn't done much yet. She might be unsure of herself, unsure of how to handle it, unsure of what to do. You don't want to pressure her but ease into it like you would ease into anything as a couple.

[Nipdog]

This was interesting as this affects us all in different ways.  One thing I  have done is to send articles about my fetishes.  I am in a long term relationship but it is non sexual and kink would be out of the question.  Honesty rewarded me, told to find someone who understands and do what I need to do but never lie and always come home.  It saved my relationship as I already decided that being true to myself was more important than a relationship.

I was telling a friend about my fetish as I am open book.  The conversation turned serious when I took his, yes it was a man, hand felt his fingernails.  I was lightly scratched, being vocal I explained I require marks.  This ignited everything in my body, as direction was followed.  He called a girlfriend of his with beautiful nails the second time we had a scratching session.  I will take both roles  Dom or Sub and always ask my partner how can I satisfy them.  We rotate as to who is the main focus knowing my body will be used no matter what. 

I am lucky though my partner who doesn't like me getting ***d and marked up accepts what I need.  The articles I had sent did help by teaching them what it means too have these desires.  It is never sexual, well I do like my dick and balls scratched.

Point is, you have to be true to yourself.  If not you will never be whole.  It all starts with a conversation