Is no limits actually real?

[Kriss123]

2 minutes ago, Leisa said:

Donny not sure why this is happening but none of my quotes are posting and it’s annoying. You are wise beyond your years and your sub will be very lucky indeed.

Well I wouldn't go that far Leisa 😂

[Leisa]

2 minutes ago, Brittone2 said:

Well I wouldn't go that far Leisa 😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Donny is a gem

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Leisa said:

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Donny is a gem

Excuse him please @Leisa. He thinks he's funny but means no harm. 

[Kriss123]

3 minutes ago, Leisa said:

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Donny is a gem

A good replica..I'd say😂

[Deleted Member]

9 minutes ago, Leisa said:

Donny not sure why this is happening but none of my quotes are posting and it’s annoying. You are wise beyond your years and your sub will be very lucky indeed.

I can see them 😊. The site does glitch every now and then. 

[Kriss123]

1 minute ago, Donnykinkster said:

I can see them 😊. The site does glitch every now and then. 

I can see them to Leisa ..sometimes I get suspended for 24 hours but like Donny said it's a glitch on the site..👨🏼‍💻

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, Brittone2 said:

.sometimes I get suspended for 24 hours

Pmsl really??? Shocked 😂😂

[Kriss123]

3 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

Pmsl really??? Shocked 😂😂

I know..😂😂

[Ko****]

I find this topic intriguing. I don't know if can contribut e. My experience with BDSM is very limited. Without going to much into detail about boundaries and limits, in my job I often have to set boundaries and limits to keep people safe. At times very restrictive.

For me it would be a open and honest discussion about limits, duty of care and allowing to make an informed decision. That includes both sides.

[Wo****]

I'm not sure I could have a no limits dynamic, just because I have limits. *** for example. That said, if I was in a relationship with someone that really, really wanted it, would I try it? I don't know.

 

Pirate and I never needed a safe word, except once on our very first time having anal sex. Over the year that I've known him he has never pushed a limit. In fact he's protected me from them. One of his kinks is medical play, it was a hard limit. Now... I'm not sure it's a hard limit, not with the right person. Do I wanna do it? Not particularly. Would I? Maybe.

I couldn't do it unless I knew the person, trusted them. How long that takes, Idk.

 

My ex and I have reconnected. We have a 25 year history, bond. No limits with him? It'd be likely to happen a lot quicker with him.

 

TPE? Right now, I couldn't. I value my freedom and independence too much but would I? Yeah. With someone I built it up with, if we both wanted it.

 

You only get to "No limits" or TPE with trust and communication.

[ey****]

7 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

I may be completely wrong here but do you think the reason for that is that in a general sense it's easier for a female sub to find a Dom compared to a male sub. They try to themselves more as the choice if you like is less?

OOh -how to keep my word count down

To a degree I can't comment so much what it's like for female subs but certainly an important lesson is to always focus on your own lane - if a male sub and a female sub both place a personal ad and the male gets 0 replies and the female gets 20 - it might look disheartening but if all 20 replies are useless then both end up with the same net result (except one didn't have to spend time dealing with timewasters)

Male subs - bless em - sometimes it seems like they/we can't win : so on one hand, you'll get the subs who've largely "learnt" through porn : I know this is something I've mentioned before - but there's a lot of "you will do anything I say without question" about it - and porn of course is designed for many things - but it disregards that the people involved are going through a loosely scripted scenario and it might be people who just met or might be people who've known each other years.  And so they think they need to come in with that level of "obedience" even though they're bound to fall at one of the first asks.  

Then you got maybe other guys - maybe they got a certain fetish or fantasy and they'll lead with that. We see this all the time and we'll tell them "don't lead with your fetish" and then they kinda go to the "oh, I'll do anything I guess" - but like, they want to do the certain fetish or fantasy and that's *fair* just, I dunno, learn that leading it makes it seem like they care about that rather than the person they're reaching to.

I feel, generally, a mistake many make is moving too fast.  They'll join a website with no knowledge and instead of reading what is already there, start contacting people or posting in forums - and while there's nothing wrong with being eager.... it comes over that the interest isn't in learning but in getting what they want - and because it disregards info that already exists it puts a burden of labour onto others.

 

[Cade]

I think an important component to the consideration of "no limits" is context. When a person says they want a "no limit" BDSM dynamic this can be easily simplified to "no BDSM limits". This does not mean physical, medical, legal/moral, , or other limit that might supercede the BDSM realm are ignored. They just aren't highlighted because they tend to be obvious and pretty much a matter of common sense - and it can often feel a bit silly having to defend consensual "no limit" dynamics and idealism against (often incredibly outlandish) hypothetical situations that are just beyond all reason and logic. Can I cut my slave's legs off with a circular saw? Yes. Am I going to? No, because for one: it's not my fetish (I like legs); and two: I'm not prepared to have a servant that needs a step stool to fetch me food and drink! Haha.

[Kriss123]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

OOh -how to keep my word count down

To a degree I can't comment so much what it's like for female subs but certainly an important lesson is to always focus on your own lane - if a male sub and a female sub both place a personal ad and the male gets 0 replies and the female gets 20 - it might look disheartening but if all 20 replies are useless then both end up with the same net result (except one didn't have to spend time dealing with timewasters)

Male subs - bless em - sometimes it seems like they/we can't win : so on one hand, you'll get the subs who've largely "learnt" through porn : I know this is something I've mentioned before - but there's a lot of "you will do anything I say without question" about it - and porn of course is designed for many things - but it disregards that the people involved are going through a loosely scripted scenario and it might be people who just met or might be people who've known each other years.  And so they think they need to come in with that level of "obedience" even though they're bound to fall at one of the first asks.  

Then you got maybe other guys - maybe they got a certain fetish or fantasy and they'll lead with that. We see this all the time and we'll tell them "don't lead with your fetish" and then they kinda go to the "oh, I'll do anything I guess" - but like, they want to do the certain fetish or fantasy and that's *fair* just, I dunno, learn that leading it makes it seem like they care about that rather than the person they're reaching to.

I feel, generally, a mistake many make is moving too fast.  They'll join a website with no knowledge and instead of reading what is already there, start contacting people or posting in forums - and while there's nothing wrong with being eager.... it comes over that the interest isn't in learning but in getting what they want - and because it disregards info that already exists it puts a burden of labour onto others.

 

I've got to reply on this comment from Donny,this is my opinion it's not easier for female subs or harder because we are all in a open market negotiating/searching for the partner that will best suit or that you think you can make the best connection with..It is not a easy thing to do.In the past it has been suggested that I use a pro domme but you are paying a Mistress to spend time with you.In my mind I know that if I wasn't paying you *** you would not be spending your time with so this whole scenario is false,which makes me false

and even though I can be a complete tool at times I pride myself on being a true person..

[Deleted Member]

9 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

.

I feel, generally, a mistake many make is moving too fast.  

 

Thank you, as always sense. On this point I think that is something many of us are guilty of and yep that includes me. I've learned patience is key 

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, Cade said:

. Can I cut my slave's legs off with a circular saw? Yes. Am I going to? No, because for one: it's not my fetish (I like legs); and two: I'm not prepared to have a servant that needs a step stool to fetch me food and drink! Haha.

Thank you Cade for your measured and calm response. I completely agree and your no limit post did nothing but open another doorway for me. Another aspect to think on and hopefully over time learn from. I understood your points perfectly and there are a few in this community whose words whether I agree or not i see as invaluable for me. I value all you say so please keep them coming. I've learned more in 18 months listening to others than I did in 8 years previously reading books, watching vids on you tube etc. I actually do aim one day to be in the place you describe as for me the key point you made was intention behind the no limits, the lack of true spite. As you said it's bot so much the words but the meaning, the context in which they are meant. I purposely sometimes post threads because I want a response, I don't even mind if those responses prove my ignorance, as THAT is where my education continues. I knew there would a response from you and again i thank you for how measured it is. I can understand how frustrating it must be at times and I totally agree, legs really are a bonus 😂😂. 

Edited July 12, 2020 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[Deleted Member]

And I have to say this is just a view of the man I am today. I have no doubts whatsoever that in another year or two my views could actually be the polar opposite, but that's what education is and I have learned real quick not to close my mind to all possibilities 

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, Brittone2 said:

I've got to reply on this comment from Donny,this is my opinion it's not easier for female subs or harder because we are all in a open market negotiating/searching for the partner that will best suit or that you think you can make the best connection with..It is not a easy thing to do.In the past it has been suggested that I use a pro domme but you are paying a Mistress to spend time with you.In my mind I know that if I wasn't paying you *** you would not be spending your time with so this whole scenario is false,which makes me false

and even though I can be a complete tool at times I pride myself on being a true person..

Well well well @Brittone2. You see what you can do when you think a little. Some small advice if I may. You said yesterday how much you value this site and community as you feel at times alone and isolated. Please think of it this way, if you involve yourself more with sensible comments that enhance discussion and debate then you will get noticed and maybe you will get noticed by one who you seek. Maybe just maybe that involvement will lead you down a path to one you seek as they can see behind the bluster a decent man and maybe a man they would like to get to know

 

I hope that makes sense. It really has worked for me as far as being accepted and making friends, that in itself does open doors that would otherwise remain closed 

[ey****]

8 hours ago, Brittone2 said:

this is my opinion it's not easier for female subs or harder because we are all in a open market negotiating/searching for the partner that will best suit or that you think you can make the best connection with..It is not a easy thing to do

Quite.

There's a female sub I know who has bounced from relationship to relationship - and to some that could seem that it was easy for her or that she could always find a new relationship or 'play' - but the reality is that she gets extremely hopeful and meets people sometimes too quickly to find it just doesn't work.

[ey****]

8 hours ago, Brittone2 said:

.In the past it has been suggested that I use a pro domme but you are paying a Mistress to spend time with you.In my mind I know that if I wasn't paying you *** you would not be spending your time with so this whole scenario is false,which makes me false

This is another topic to try to keep my word count down and can steer off topic, ha.

For Pro's it depends on what you want.  If you want certain 'play' to go through a scene to act out a fantasy - to try something - to experience something : great.  

If you want any form of relationship - possible in some cases (some have stricter boundaries than others) but that this is going to take time and trust and of course, the best way to build this is through repeat/paid sessions.

If you want a romantic relationship - hey, there are some Pros I know married people, or now live with people romantically, who were their clients - but accept this as a rarity versus a norm.  

-

And, it can be complex.  Because as you say - is this because she enjoys the time with you or because it's her job?   But, it can certainly be both.  

[Deleted Member]

29 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Quite.

There's a female sub I know who has bounced from relationship to relationship - and to some that could seem that it was easy for her or that she could always find a new relationship or 'play' - but the reality is that she gets extremely hopeful and meets people sometimes too quickly to find it just doesn't work.

And over the course of time that can be detrimental to ones self worth and mental health, in my opinion. We all want to be wanted, we all want a connection but yes patience

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

 

I would I think order her onto her back, mouth open, drop my pants and start taking a shit in her mouth. 

I got a great visual from that!! 🔥🤣🔥

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Firewitch said:

I got a great visual from that!! 🔥🤣🔥

Ha ha you are not the first to mention that 🔥😊

[Loverboiii_t0y]

Bravo

[Bootedskinhead]

I think there may be a few that have no limits but i think most if not all of us do. We dont want to be killed or seriously maimed as we want to continue to share and receive perversion. I dont have many limits but i dont want to die or be injured, i do like some ***  i dont want to lose all my ***, but i am willing to sub for men or women. I am not into whipping.