Blocking

[Deleted Member]

13 minutes ago, little_red_92 said:

The problem with blocking active members on the site IMHO is that it shuts down the opportunity for growth, communication and ultimately halts the flow of chat ( in the lobby) I was recently blocked by two members i greatly respect, surprised as i was i feel it says far more about their willingness to hear an opposing view than any wrong doing on my part ( i could be wrong).  Blocking has its uses, putting someone on time out or generally just being able to no longer see what negative vitriol they can spout. As a rule, i don't block anyone, but then im happy to ignore those that are not worth communicating with. 
In terms of blocking those that send messages, the way i see it is that there are two options: 
1 - up the filters to make it near on impossible for any but those you wish to contact you. 
2- ignore it. delete the messages or better yet. if it all gets too much, turn off the laptop/pc/app etc. this site isn't life or death. we make a choice to be on what is ultimately a dating website. by proxy surely that means we expect to receive some attention from those we wish wouldn't...

That’s great that you haven’t felt the need to block but it seems a bit strong to imply that those of us who do block are negatively affecting the site. Why should I have to put up with sexually aggressive or persistent messages? I expect people to be polite. I don’t think that’s a big ask. And if I don’t wish to play with them or chat, I politely say no. The people who are negatively affecting the site are the people sending the messages which cause them to get blocked.

[Deleted Member]

31 minutes ago, AnimeBlonde said:

One thing I hate when you do block someone is that they inform the person that you've done it ! I remember someone I had met off this site and met in person and they were harassing me and I blocked them on here and they then found me on Facebook and sent me message after message asking why I blocked them and they got more and more nasty 😭

If blocking them on all platforms doesnt help, a restraining order might just be what you need. Another way would be to explain to them just why you blocked them and hope they understand. 

 

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

on any site anywhere it's always possible to work out if you've been blocked and by who.  Some explicitly tell you (Twitter "you cannot view this profile as you have been blocked") others it's very easy to work out.

If you block someone anywhere always assume they will know.  But, if they then come to you via another platform you know you were right to block them. 

You’re right, of course. I just didn’t realise it was spelled out on here. It’s a little more ambivalent on other sites.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Curvykate said:

That’s great that you haven’t felt the need to block but it seems a bit strong to imply that those of us who do block are negatively affecting the site. Why should I have to put up with sexually aggressive or persistent messages? I expect people to be polite. I don’t think that’s a big ask. And if I don’t wish to play with them or chat, I politely say no. The people who are negatively affecting the site are the people sending the messages which cause them to get blocked.

Very true.

[Deleted Member]

8 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

😮 I didn’t know people were informed?! Sounds an unpleasant experience.

I wasn't aware either until this guy started telling me he had a email and message to say and I had to get my older brothers involved 😂 their went their belief that I was a lesbian 🙈😆

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Curvykate said:

That’s great that you haven’t felt the need to block but it seems a bit strong to imply that those of us who do block are negatively affecting the site. Why should I have to put up with sexually aggressive or persistent messages? I expect people to be polite. I don’t think that’s a big ask. And if I don’t wish to play with them or chat, I politely say no. The people who are negatively affecting the site are the people sending the messages which cause them to get blocked.

i wasnt implying anything. i was saying that it can affect chat. example being missed comments that help the flow, going back to topics that have already been spoken off. missing parts of jokes and asking to have them repeated. all of these i have seen. 
I have zero sympathy for those that treat anybody without the respect they deserve as human beings.

Edited to add ; if you feel that you need to block and cant ignore users then that is your right and i respect it.  i appreciate that hateful, inappropriate comments can cause offense or upset. i tend to laugh at them but thats just me
 

Edited July 12, 2020 by Deleted Member
to add things

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, Wiz said:

If blocking them on all platforms doesnt help, a restraining order might just be what you need. Another way would be to explain to them just why you blocked them and hope they understand. 

 

I did fully explain but he totally ignlred what I said and continued to message me. However since I got my brother's involved he has so far left me alone, touch wood it stays that way or contacting the police will be my next step but it just shows that sometimes that block button is needed for some situations

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, AnimeBlonde said:

I did fully explain but he totally ignlred what I said and continued to message me. However since I got my brother's involved he has so far left me alone, touch wood it stays that way or contacting the police will be my next step but it just shows that sometimes that block button is needed for some situations

Agreed. 

Also helps me rein*** a personal rule to never meet irl until you get to know them quite a bit. 

5 minutes ago, AnimeBlonde said:

I wasn't aware either until this guy started telling me he had a email and message to say and I had to get my older brothers involved 😂 their went their belief that I was a lesbian 🙈😆

Why did they think so? Lol

[Deleted Member]

What strikes me in this topic is that I’ve never been blocked on this site. And I’ve chatted to a fair number of people who also haven’t been blocked. Men, even 😱. It’s not that difficult not to be blocked. Be polite. Be respectful. Don’t push people. Take no for an answer. Be a pleasant human being to other human beings even (this seems a tough one) even if they like kinky things😮! If there are those who block because they love the button and no more - I strongly suspect they’re in the minority.

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, Wiz said:

Why did they think so? Lol

My dad's side of the family is 30 boys/men to 3 girls/women (this is born into the family not married in) so all the girls are heavily protected so whenever I have a guy near me my one brother feels the need to inform them I'm a lesbian, he's only half right 😝😂

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, AnimeBlonde said:

My dad's side of the family is 30 boys/men to 3 girls/women (this is born into the family not married in) so all the girls are heavily protected so whenever I have a guy near me my one brother feels the need to inform them I'm a lesbian, he's only half right 😝😂

You are lucky to have such a good brother that only informs them... 😂😂

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, AnimeBlonde said:

I wasn't aware either until this guy started telling me he had a email and message to say and I had to get my older brothers involved 😂 their went their belief that I was a lesbian 🙈😆

***y hell! 😖 (although the last bit I am intrigued by! 🧐)

[Deleted Member]

18 minutes ago, little_red_92 said:

i wasnt implying anything. i was saying that it can affect chat. example being missed comments that help the flow, going back to topics that have already been spoken off. missing parts of jokes and asking to have them repeated. all of these i have seen. 
I have zero sympathy for those that treat anybody without the respect they deserve as human beings.

Edited to add ; if you feel that you need to block and cant ignore users then that is your right and i respect it.  i appreciate that hateful, inappropriate comments can cause offense or upset. i tend to laugh at them but thats just me
 

Your wording did seem to imply so thank you for the clarification. I can laugh off some things. But I don’t see why I should put up with it. I guess I don’t spend that much time in chat to have noticed it much.

[Deleted Member]

14 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

What strikes me in this topic is that I’ve never been blocked on this site. And I’ve chatted to a fair number of people who also haven’t been blocked. Men, even 😱. It’s not that difficult not to be blocked. Be polite. Be respectful. Don’t push people. Take no for an answer. Be a pleasant human being to other human beings even (this seems a tough one) even if they like kinky things😮! If there are those who block because they love the button and no more - I strongly suspect they’re in the minority.

True but there are always strange cases out there. I remember one time a girl sent me a pm but then she put me on her block list just because I replied after some time.  I must say I was quite thankful that happened, its much better finding stuff like this early on. 

[Deleted Member]

19 minutes ago, Wiz said:

You are lucky to have such a good brother that only informs them... 😂😂

Gotta love them 😆 it's fine I just tell his girlfriend about when he has asked me if he looks fat in jeans / clothes, my sweet sweet revenge! 😆

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, AnimeBlonde said:

Gotta love them 😆 it's fine I just tell his girlfriend about when he has asked me if he looks fat in jeans / clothes, my sweet sweet revenge! 😆

You are way too cruel 😂

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Wiz said:

You are way too cruel 😂

Why thank you 😝 I like to think I have evil genius pinned down to a T!

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Curvykate said:

Your wording did seem to imply so thank you for the clarification. I can laugh off some things. But I don’t see why I should put up with it. I guess I don’t spend that much time in chat to have noticed it much.

i think specifically messages is the easiest way for people to be block worthy but also 99% of the people who message me are never going to be in the lobby so i dont need to ever see them. i send the no thanks message and its done. they cant message back. but for those that subvert the restrictions i do think its useful to be able to remove someone from accessing your profile 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, little_red_92 said:

i think specifically messages is the easiest way for people to be block worthy but also 99% of the people who message me are never going to be in the lobby so i dont need to ever see them. i send the no thanks message and its done. they cant message back. but for those that subvert the restrictions i do think its useful to be able to remove someone from accessing your profile 

That’s worth considering 🧐. Going with the No thanks rather than blocking. Will think about that.

[Deleted Member]

18 hours ago, Thir***point7 said:

blocking is for closed minded people who have no argument or logical basis on what they have said. If they had real conviction and in their mind were being honest and able to justify what they said. They wouldn't block people.

But what about purely bad intention? Spite, poison that some seem to think is ok? Should we just accept it, make a valid argument? It's impossible as no words can change the opinion of dickhead. At times there is no argument against spite and those that carry it cannot be changed. Then block is the only viable option

Edited July 13, 2020 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[Wo****]

19 hours ago, Thir***point7 said:

Or, very weak minded individuals who can't bear to hear a different perspective.

Or, strong individuals that refuse to read crap like "I need to r**e your arse" as an opening message or engage with "men" who just wanna drive down, meet, and have sex. "You're a slutty sub, why wouldn't you?" 

 

 

Edited July 13, 2020 by Bounty
Censoring a word

[Deleted Member]

27 minutes ago, Bounty said:

Or, strong individuals that refuse to read crap like "I need to r**e your arse" as an opening message or engage with "men" who just wanna drive down, meet, and have sex. "You're a slutty sub, why wouldn't you?" 

 

 

We are supposed to be grateful for the opportunity are we? 🤣🙄

[Wo****]

1 minute ago, Curvykate said:

We are supposed to be grateful for the opportunity are we? 🤣🙄

Of course. We're submissives, duh! 😆😆😆

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, Bounty said:

Of course. We're submissives, duh! 😆😆😆

And that must mean we are doormats who will rollover for the first Domly Dom 🤗😂

[Deleted Member]

23 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

We are supposed to be grateful for the opportunity are we? 🤣🙄

And that is half the problem, a word I have seen much of the last year "entitlement"