Wo**** Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 There's been quite a few changes in my life and relationships recently. I'm no longer in a D/s relationship with Pirate, we're now friends and playmates. We had a poly relationship and I've realised something. Polyamouros means many loves. I genuinely love Pirate, VoyagerX, and my ex LDR. I have a relationship with all three and I love them all. There's also being ethically non monogamous. I think that's different to being poly. Being poly involves love, ethical non monogamy could, but doesn't have to involve love. I'm sexually submissive, or am I more of a "bottom"? I'm primal. Masochistic, bratty. I'm independent, strong, slutty. I like a challenge. I'll submit to someone, if it's right but they've got to be worth submitting, and only sexually.
Dreamaway Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 If you're happy why worry about it? Enjoy yourself for being able to have the freedom of choice to be what you want to be. I think too many people in here think they have to have this or that identity and just needlessly pigeonhole themselves. If you enjoy a bit of everything life is richer for the experience.
Wo**** Posted July 13, 2020 Author Posted July 13, 2020 I'm not worrying, merely pondering and exploring. I'm free, I'm happy. I love and I'm loved 😊
Wo**** Posted July 13, 2020 Author Posted July 13, 2020 Just realised something... I'm not submissive. I will, and do submit. Because I want to, I choose to, but I'm not submissive.
Si**** Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Bounty said: Just realised something... I'm not submissive. I will, and do submit. Because I want to, I choose to, but I'm not submissive. Sub or not, i think you are lovely. don't ever change. x
Ki**** Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 I understand completely. I am generally not submissive. I feel the need to be in control of many areas of my life. But sexually I am more comfortable submitting. Trying to Dominate sexually just dosn't feel right to me. It's ok to be submissive in some areas of life and not in others
Carnelian2 Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 Well, my journey since re-engaging with the D/s community has been very interesting and the roles by which I describe myself have also changed significantly. I used to worry about that but now I am learning to sit back and enjoy the ride and what it gives. We are individuals, made up of so many aspects, that labels rarely define the person. Yes, it helps as a start on a conversation but that is about it.
Bo**** Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 (edited) free of boxes,free from lables. chained or chaining ,to rack'd tables, doors now opening,frae bolt'd stables escape ***'s darkness,stained as sables. Freeing,fleeting, soar!free Willing,enables gliding,rising,surprising; release dragg'd cables! Edited July 14, 2020 by Boldbald Artistic
Wo**** Posted July 14, 2020 Author Posted July 14, 2020 Who am I? Under this eternal sky.. Who am I When I start to cry.. Into the howling wind ........................................... Hmm, that's it apparently. I'll come back to that one. I used to think that being by the sea was part of my soul. Where I felt/feel grounded, connected.... that kinda thing. I think I'm wrong... it's not the sea, the water. I lived in Lincolnshire for a while. No sea, lots of rivers... water. Didn't miss the sea, assumed it was because there was water. I've always loved being in the wind. It stirs my soul. It's freedom for me. It's windy by the sea, and very windy in Lincolnshire... I think I should try hang gliding so I can really fly. Oh.... that's it! I did a drift dive, years ago, it was glorious... I've always said I wanna fly... be free. It's why I wanna swim, and run, and dance..... I need to fly...
Deleted Member Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 13 hours ago, SirGreen said: Sub or not, i think you are lovely. don't ever change. x Agree totally
Wo**** Posted July 14, 2020 Author Posted July 14, 2020 27 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said: Agree totally 😚
Leisa Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 Bounty you’re a beautiful lady. Many, if not most, of us do not fit into one specific box. For me I know I’m submissive in my D/s relationship but I’m so much more. I’m a brat, I have slave tendencies, frankly I’m just myself with all my shortcomings. There shouldn’t be labels unless someone wants one. We should never be ***d to identify as any one thing unless that’s what we desire. You’re strong and intelligent. You will definitely find your way even if no one else agrees it’s the right one.
Jinxy Posted July 15, 2020 Posted July 15, 2020 I think it's beautiful that you are learning so much about yourself and who you are and then embracing it even if it doesn't "fit" a label. Really blossoming along the journey. That's inspirational for others to see, myself included.
Deleted Member Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 On 7/14/2020 at 4:47 PM, Leisa said: Bounty you’re a beautiful lady. Many, if not most, of us do not fit into one specific box. For me I know I’m submissive in my D/s relationship but I’m so much more. I’m a brat, I have slave tendencies, frankly I’m just myself with all my shortcomings. There shouldn’t be labels unless someone wants one. We should never be ***d to identify as any one thing unless that’s what we desire. You’re strong and intelligent. You will definitely find your way even if no one else agrees it’s the right one. “There shouldn’t be labels unless someone wants one.” ”We should never be ***d to identify as any one thing unless that’s what we desire.” Well Leisa, I think you summed that one up perfectly. I agree entirely and I’ve never submitted to labels, because I don’t want one. But I respect the wishes of those who do, and if by having a label they feel more secure or a sense of belonging to a particular group or ideology, then that’s great. I was told by someone that I was a kinkster, but I’m “not BDSM”. Ok. I’ll take that! I certainly don’t identify as a Sadist or as a Masochist, and I don’t like receiving or giving ***ful Discipline. But I’m totally into Bondage, Submission and Domination, so where the hell does that put me in the big scheme of things?! Just call me CBNL if you like: Confused, But No Labels! Late last year, I had a fabulous interaction with Bounty over two days. Two days that I’ll definitely never forget. Two days that I think about EVERY day. I wrote about it quite extensively on this forum. What an amazing lady! I just had the best time with her. She was LazyPiratesBounty then, but for those two days she was MY Bounty and I felt very privileged to be playing with her. She took me somewhere I’d never been and I’ll always be respectfully grateful for the experience. No labels were used, apart from perhaps “versatile”. I like that one. Bounty’s been through some pretty life changing experiences since then and from reading her posts on here, she has clearly had some epiphanies and realisations along the way, as happens to so many of us in life. I’ve had that experience too. And it taught me that I don’t have to be one anything. I can be everything if I want. Or nothing. But I don’t have to identify as one type or as a member of one group. I’m FREE! Free to be who I am, with all of my faults and ideosyncracies. Free to explore. Free to belong to many groups. Or none. And for me, my journey of discovery over the last 35 years or so, has been as much about finding out what I am not, as finding out what I am. I’ve enjoyed every step of the way! Is it just slutty to not be too picky about who you play with? Is it just being promiscuous? Or is it actually being accepting of the fact that not everybody can put themselves into a box, or submit to a label? Well I consider the latter to be true. Mono? Poly? Serial polymonogamy? Or even parallel monopolyamoury? Who cares? Does it matter? What do YOU want? If you know, go for it. If not, just keep enjoying the journey. Many people haven’t yet discovered who or what they are, or even where they’re headed. And that’s fine. And some, like you, dear Bounty, are still on that journey to an as yet unknown destination. Enjoy the trip. Savour the experiences along the way. And if you never reach any particular destination, just enjoy the views you see on the route. I for one am a richer, more compassionate and more empowered person because you touched me on your ongoing journey, when our routes fortuitously crossed. Thank you. You’re amazing and I’ll never forget you. X
Wo**** Posted July 23, 2020 Author Posted July 23, 2020 "Bounty’s been through some pretty life changing experiences since then and from reading her posts on here, she has clearly had some epiphanies and realisations along the way, " One of which, that I've tried to say nicely in several different ways, is that you and I no longer share the same views. Honesty is vital to me, everyone involved needs to know what's going on, and your wife didn't. The last time we spoke you invited me to come and stay at yours and your wife's holiday b&b because the thrill of us playing under your wife's nose would be "fun" I was never YOUR Bounty. We met because, at the time, we had a specific scene in mind. I was still Pirates Bounty, if I was anybodys. Sorry for posting this here but I just wanna put it out there that you and I have no relationship.
Deleted Member Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 (edited) 12 hours ago, Bounty said: Sorry for posting this here but I just wanna put it out there that you and I have no relationship. I would agree with that Bounty, you’ve made your views clear and I respect that. Clearly I won’t be playing with you again anytime soon. But I stand by everything I’ve said. I had a brilliant time with you Bounty and though we have our differences of opinion, I certainly won’t mudsling publicly. I never deceived you about anything and you gave me two amazing days that I’ll always remember. What a great time... I have lots of nice things to say about you, whatever you may think of me! My profile on this site has always stated that I’m happily married but the sex is vanilla and I want to explore kinks and fantasies I have. My bad? Maybe. But time and again, people on this site say that you have to be who you are. And this is me. And I’m very happy. The title of this thread is “Who am I?” You, Bounty, have by your own admission been finding out who you really are recently, having reportedly been suppressed and ***d for years. I, along with many others are really happy for you. You’ve definitely grown as a person, that’s clear to see. It’s great that you’ve broken out from your previous life. I’ve known who I am for a long time. I’m just happy, friendly Fredddy here. No angle, no agenda, no hidden motives. What you see is what you get. I just want to explore kinky fun with no hang ups, stress or baggage to blight the path. I don’t want a 24/7 D/s relationship. If I did, I’d become single and seek that out. It’s not for me. No, I’m only after fun times with like minded people who can give me what’s missing in my vanilla sex life within an otherwise very happy relationship. My wife doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know the details of all my fantasies and kinky encounters, but she does know they’ve happened. I’ve enjoyed some pretty intense and exciting encounters and experiences with a variety of people of both sexes over the years. Everyone is different and brings something else to the party. For me, that’s been the joy of it: some people you’ll never see again, but you’ve learned something from them as a result of your encounter. So I remember every encounter with respect for each person and what they brought to the party that day. I don’t regret any meet-ups I’ve ever had. Being at ease, self confident and without angst is a happy place to be in life, and there are a good many people with those qualities on this site from whom we could all learn a thing or two, I think. Edited July 23, 2020 by Deleted Member Typo
Deleted Member Posted July 24, 2020 Posted July 24, 2020 I am so happy for you that you are finding out who you are and what you are into! It takes a strong person to do this and I myself am a submissive but it's by nature. There is strength through submission! Some of us just aren't submissive all the time though. In my normal life I have a very high demanding job so I have to be what you are. I have to be very strong, show independence, take all the responsibility, and it is very exhausting! Even in my previous relationship I had limits, as most submissive do, and he had to respect those! You just keep your head up and keep exploring! You've already found that you are submissive but only in certain situations and that's great!
Si**** Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 The problem with labels, they limit freedom to grow and discover. No pigeon hole for me thanks.
Ta**** Posted July 29, 2020 Posted July 29, 2020 I could get a little philosophical about this.....Who is it in me that asks......who am I? And if I am asking who is it in me that asks...who am I, then who is that who is asking who it is that is asking who in me is that I. And so on, and so forth, backwards through eternity! But you never really get to that I.
Si**** Posted July 29, 2020 Posted July 29, 2020 I am that, that is found at the end of my searching. If i do not find myself, am I really lost? for i am where I should be.
Koby Posted August 9, 2020 Posted August 9, 2020 On 7/13/2020 at 12:22 PM, Bounty said: There's been quite a few changes in my life and relationships recently. I'm no longer in a D/s relationship with Pirate, we're now friends and playmates. We had a poly relationship and I've realised something. Polyamouros means many loves. I genuinely love Pirate, VoyagerX, and my ex LDR. I have a relationship with all three and I love them all. There's also being ethically non monogamous. I think that's different to being poly. Being poly involves love, ethical non monogamy could, but doesn't have to involve love. I'm sexually submissive, or am I more of a "bottom"? I'm primal. Masochistic, bratty. I'm independent, strong, slutty. I like a challenge. I'll submit to someone, if it's right but they've got to be worth submitting, and only sexually. You summarise the beauty of BDSM. Right now, I am feeling more Daddy than Dominant. I go with the seasons. It is always useful to take time for introspection.
Wo**** Posted October 11, 2020 Author Posted October 11, 2020 3 minutes ago, Smittenbaby said: Thanks for posting this Bounty I have found it really helpful. I am just discovering who I am in terms of kink and posts like this have made me feel less intimated but the labels. Although, I still think I am going to need a BDSM dictionary and thesaurus! 🙃 It's a constant journey of realisation and radical honesty. Is it always easy? No. But so worth it... (Know what you mean with the dictionary... CBT* was not what I thought!) * Cock and ball *** and NOT cognitive behavioural therapy 🤔
Sm**** Posted October 12, 2020 Posted October 12, 2020 (edited) Bounty: CBT 🤣🤣🤣 I noted worlds are important to you, me too but I am not always good with finding the right ones so reading what others write helps with that. Edited October 12, 2020 by Smittenbaby
ol**** Posted October 13, 2020 Posted October 13, 2020 On 10/11/2020 at 8:49 PM, Bounty said: (Know what you mean with the dictionary... CBT* was not what I thought!) * Cock and ball *** and NOT cognitive behavioural therapy 🤔 Compulsory basic training surely? I always wonder about the person who dreamt that up for the world of motorcycling, were they aware I wonder?
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