Context of words is key. A slight retraction and apology.

[Wo****]

8 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I must admit I think for a lot of users on this site, this kind of thread seems cliquey. I think if this is a discussion between a core group of users (as I think several threads have been of late) could you not take it to a chat room? Because I’ve seen a comment suggesting someone doesn’t know the context and that this thread isn’t for them. That’s not very inclusive. I am one of those who is perhaps counted as a core member because I don’t shut up - erm, I con regularly 😳. But I’d hate to think that newbies and lurkers who make up the majority are feeling cliques-out. I’d quote but I can’t use the app atm and the mobile version of the site is...not very user friendly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why take it to a chat room? Wouldn't that make it more cliquey? What about posters that don't use chat?

I agree there is a kinda like a bunch of us that post regularly... is that intimidating, you think? People might wanna post but don't because it's the same group of posters posting?

 

[Deleted Member]

13 minutes ago, SirGreen said:

can stand watching the news,

I am sure you meant can’t! 
I hope you are not a offended 😂

[Deleted Member]

20 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Because I’ve seen a comment suggesting someone doesn’t know the context and that this thread isn’t for them.

Not sure where did you read this on here? 
I don’t like the chat format. It’s a mess with criss/cross messages which doesn’t make any sense. 
Yes it’s always the same which interact maybe because other users don’t speak English. And maybe they are just not interested to join the discussions. But anyone is free to post a comment even if they could just say they agree 🤷‍♂️Or disagree. 
 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Bounty said:

Why take it to a chat room? Wouldn't that make it more cliquey? What about posters that don't use chat?

I agree there is a kinda like a bunch of us that post regularly... is that intimidating, you think? People might wanna post but don't because it's the same group of posters posting?

 

Because it seems to be a conversation about a word used in another conversation between the same people. I’m putting it forward that other people might see it as intimidating, yes. And seeing the massive number of posts about people not being friendly / blocking plus infights between users which has come up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

On 7/19/2020 at 11:30 AM, FabSeverus said:

Maybe Donny will fall of his chair when he read that

Luckily laid on the sofa 😂. Thank you

[Deleted Member]

On 7/19/2020 at 11:44 AM, Curvykate said:

 But I’d hate to think that newbies and lurkers who make up the majority are feeling cliques-out. I’d quote but I can’t use the app atm and the mobile version of the site is...not very user friendly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do you really think that's happening?

[Deleted Member]

14 hours ago, little_red_92 said:

i feel that perhaps you are missing the point. the history and the context of this post. 
 

@FabSeverusThis is one of the responses I was referring to. How on earth could anyone who isn’t part of the original discussion (or whatever happened) know the history and context. LR put it very nicely but this assumes that everyone here is on the lobby most nights and follows all other forum discussions. 

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Donnykinkster said:

Do you really think that's happening?

I don’t normally post unless I have something valid to say or raise. So yes.

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

. You don't seem to understand and that's ok, not evwrybody is meant to., the post wasn't for you and whether you understand or not makes no difference. Thank you for your kind, helpful input and I shall.give it some thought.

I think “the post wasn’t for you” makes my point for me. Who is it for then? 

[Deleted Member]

On 7/19/2020 at 1:29 PM, Curvykate said:

I think “the post wasn’t for you” makes my point for me. Who is it for then? 

Yep that's fair

Edited July 19, 2020 by Deleted Member
Misspelled

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

Yep that's fair

I always try to be!

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Curvykate said:

LR put it very nicely but this assumes that everyone here is on the lobby most nights and follows all other forum discussions. 

granted, i agree with you. however the comment i replied to doesn't actually represent the original  post on this thread, Donny explained the situation and as such one could make an assumption that he was clarifying further. To extrapolate that there are other posts regarding this topic is not overly difficult. To search for those posts just encourages people to explore the forum more and read more topics. surely this further encompasses the topic and isn't necessarily a problem. 

I understand that new users to the forum could be put off by interacting in a thread but a simple "i dont know the history BUT from this thread alone, my view point is thus"  

i am a very new member of the forum as i mainly use the app and only recently started using a laptop for the site. personally i do feel there can be threads where there isnt a space for me to make comment, but thats ok. there are hundreds of others. and if im interested in a topic i dont always have to post. merely read and learn

[De****]

2 hours ago, Curvykate said:

I must admit I think for a lot of users on this site, this kind of thread seems cliquey. I think if this is a discussion between a core group of users (as I think several threads have been of late) could you not take it to a chat room? Because I’ve seen a comment suggesting someone doesn’t know the context and that this thread isn’t for them. That’s not very inclusive. I am one of those who is perhaps counted as a core member because I don’t shut up - erm, I con regularly 😳. But I’d hate to think that newbies and lurkers who make up the majority are feeling cliques-out. I’d quote but I can’t use the app atm and the mobile version of the site is...not very user friendly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I completely agree. This seems to be a follow on to another post or at least to a private discussion between certain members and consequently, as you say. ‘Cliquey’. Once again we also seem to have hostility and squabbling, something which is becoming a regular theme. In my opinion the forum is for public posts for everyone to feel free to learn and voice their opinion as long as it’s in a respectful manner. If you want to continue a further discussion then set up a chat room or use chat generally as it should be obvious that if someone enters a conversation halfway, without knowing the background context, it will cause confusion and unfortunately maybe offence. 

[Deleted Member]

On 7/19/2020 at 2:02 PM, Demi_Seraphina said:

I completely agree. This seems to be a follow on to another post or at least to a private discussion between certain members and consequently, as you say. ‘Cliquey’. Once again we also seem to have hostility and squabbling, something which is becoming a regular theme. In my opinion the forum is for public posts for everyone to feel free to learn and voice their opinion as long as it’s in a respectful manner. If you want to continue a further discussion then set up a chat room or use chat generally as it should be obvious that if someone enters a conversation halfway, without knowing the background context, it will cause confusion and unfortunately maybe offence. 

But in fairness just to clarify the headline of the thread clearly states "a retraction" a clear indicator that there may be more to the thread than meets the eye. I know who you talk about Demi and have you read his words? The way he phrases his opinion? There was no need for It.

 

As far as the threads seeming cliqy I can see how that would happen and maybe something to be thought about but threads are open to all and half the idea is to share with others. 

[De****]

On 7/19/2020 at 4:55 AM, Donnykinkster said:

I'm.not surprised you can't see that through your blatant hostility but if that's what you want, you have come to the right place

I should have been clearer with my objection. Regardless of who made which comment, I would find this an aggressive reply to any comment. Come to the right place for what exactly?? You didn’t feel that particular comment was hostile or unfriendly originally so why the change? And how would a newbie feel if they were replied to with that answer?

i do feel that the forum posts are getting intimidating to comment on and that saddens me because when I first joined Fetish I was directed by the mods to the forum to read, learn and talk to people for advice. I feel that the direction a lot of these now seem to go in is starting to seem intimidating and exclusive - cliquey is definitely the right word. This happened a while ago in chat and I saw newbies getting ***d out because they didn’t know the ‘in’ rules (it happened to me on a couple of occasions hence why I never bother with chat), I don’t want to see the forum go the same way. 
 

[Deleted Member]

On 7/20/2020 at 6:58 AM, Demi_Seraphina said:

I should have been clearer with my objection. Regardless of who made which comment, I would find this an aggressive reply to any comment. Come to the right place for what exactly?? You didn’t feel that particular comment was hostile or unfriendly originally so why the change? And how would a newbie feel if they were replied to with that answer?

 

Agreed to some extent but oneminusone is no newbie. He jumped in with an aggressive comment himself halway through a thread that was a retracrion himting at more to the eye. The thread was fine up until that point and if he had of been a newbies my response would have been quite different. 

 

[De****]

3 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

Agreed to some extent but oneminusone is no newbie. He jumped in with an aggressive comment himself halway through a thread that was a retracrion himting at more to the eye. The thread was fine up until that point and if he had of been a newbies my response would have been quite different. 

 

The thread was fine Immediately after the original point. He made a point, you respectfully acknowledged that and pointed out you disagreed and it was fine. My point was that 5 hours later you suddenly came back with a second aggressive reply to the same comment.

Secondly, the reason that you hint at there being more to the eye is the reason that the post is cliquey - the implication is that only those in the know should read on and should definitely not comment.

 I personally did find your post offensive. As you and I have talked I am confident that you genuinely didn’t mean it to be and after all, as discussed earlier we all have different trigger points but I struggled to understand where you were coming from, for example ‘someday I may want a doormat of my own’ when talking about a sub? Maybe with the ‘unknown’ context it would make more sense but as it stands, you have an inflammatory post with no back story...unless you’re ‘in the know’ of course. 

[Deleted Member]

On 7/20/2020 at 7:30 AM, Demi_Seraphina said:

. My point was that 5 hours later you suddenly came back with a second aggressive reply to the same comment.

 

 I personally did find your post offensive. 

The first reply I was half asleep the 2nd fully awake and I could then see the "blatant hostility" I talked of. Does that make my reaction right? No of course not and that I admit us something I need to work on. 

 

Yes the post was cliqy but that is what a retraction is, words aimed at certain individuals hence by default making it cliqy. 

 

If I offended you with my words then you have my apology but for me that was the WHOLE point of the post and I shall not use those words again unless the context is absolutely clear.

Edited July 20, 2020 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[Deleted Member]

17 hours ago, little_red_92 said:

granted, i agree with you. however the comment i replied to doesn't actually represent the original  post on this thread, Donny explained the situation and as such one could make an assumption that he was clarifying further. To extrapolate that there are other posts regarding this topic is not overly difficult. To search for those posts just encourages people to explore the forum more and read more topics. surely this further encompasses the topic and isn't necessarily a problem. 

I understand that new users to the forum could be put off by interacting in a thread but a simple "i dont know the history BUT from this thread alone, my view point is thus"  

i am a very new member of the forum as i mainly use the app and only recently started using a laptop for the site. personally i do feel there can be threads where there isnt a space for me to make comment, but thats ok. there are hundreds of others. and if im interested in a topic i dont always have to post. merely read and learn

But it isn’t easy to follow discussion or search for a previous one. On the app you can’t search the forum at all. I don’t use desktop - can you on there? Can you search by username? How many would bother realistically? I am posting regularly and reading a lot and I still find it cliquey. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

The first reply I was half asleep the 2nd fully awake and I could then see the "blatant hostility" I talked of. Does that make my reaction right? No of course not and that I admit us something I need to work on. 

 

Yes the post was cliqy but that is what a retraction is, words aimed at certain individuals hence by default making it cliqy. 

 

If I offended you with my words then you have my apology but for me that was the WHOLE point of the post and I shall not use those words again unless the context is absolutely clear.

Donny I have raised an issue with your post as an example but it is a problem I’ve noticed for some time - it’s not aimed at you. It’s not about a single post, or you responding negatively to someone. I’ve responded negatively to people (and I’m not always diplomatic) and I’m not going to apologise for it if I think they deserved it.

[Deleted Member]

On 7/20/2020 at 7:51 AM, Curvykate said:

Donny I have raised an issue with your post as an example but it is a problem I’ve noticed for some time - it’s not aimed at you. It’s not about a single post, or you responding negatively to someone. I’ve responded negatively to people (and I’m not always diplomatic) and I’m not going to apologise for it if I think they deserved it.

I agree with what you say Kate and can see how intimidating it may be for new peeps to want to get involved, same peeps posting all the time.etc. Im all ears if you have a solution.

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

I agree with what you say Kate and can see how intimidating it may be for new peeps to want to get involved, same peeps posting all the time.etc. Im all ears if you have a solution.

😊 I have an idea as I mentioned privately but need to have more of a think before I suggest it. And....school holidays. 🤯😴

[on****]

There was no hostility on my part and im sorry if it came across like that, the reply from you when you were awake however that was hostile. To say I've come to the right place just shows that maybe you are actually seeking an argument? And that is the wrong attitude.

I'm well aware this is a fetish website, the clue is in the name, but so were all on the same page let's be under no illusions, it's a safe, moderated, and pretty sterile environment, in fact you could say it's perfect for those new to the scene?

As someone said, it's perfectly acceptable to call your submissive things, your cum slut, your doormat, but a new submissive doesn't want to see the suggestion that submissives in general are doormats, someone who is walked over, used and ***d. Don't lose sight of the fact that you had to post this topic because of your actions!

This post is not for you... charming... then take it private. Regardless of who it was for or why, I found your explanation confusing and long winded. It makes perfect sense to you though... of course because you wrote it. Don't shoot people down for commenting on your private public post on a public forum. 

My reply to you was written clearly and to the point, I didn't beat about the bush unlike your post. You mentioned someone to wipe your feet on, then say I have a kink for human doormats to wipe my feet on rather than all this

[on****]

2 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

f I offended you with my words then you have my apology but for me that was the WHOLE point of the post and I shall not use those words again unless the context is absolutely clear.

The whole point of the post was to offend her? You do understand that Seraphina is referring to this thread dont you? 

[Deleted Member]

On 7/20/2020 at 9:53 AM, oneminusone said:

The whole point of the post was to offend her? You do understand that Seraphina is referring to this thread dont you? 

The whole point of the thread rather