Context of words is key. A slight retraction and apology.

[Deleted Member]

So I think the last few hours of strife  have really proved the point I was trying to make. Words, context online espexially can be so easily misunderstood and taken the wrong way even if there was  no malice intended. Face to face its not such an issue as real meaning is much easier to portray with eye contact and tone of voice etc. I for one am a little tired of the negative aspects the last few days and will be trying my damnest to avoid anymore, at least this week 😂. 

Edited July 20, 2020 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[Deleted Member]

On 7/20/2020 at 12:57 PM, Thebian said:

I think it is very hard to avoid every one's triggers and to do so would reduce one's writings from the state of original thought to extremely self censored and generalised pastiches of the original.

 

Thank you Thebian for as always wise words. This I see is the problem, avoiding upsetting those with certain triggers but as you say it's an almost impossible task.

If I were sat in a room with 10 people and all know there was one there who had a certain trigger I would do everything I could to avoid touching that trigger but that is easy face to face, not so easy online. I have triggers, mainly it's linked to certain pieces of music that flood my system with memories some happy some sad but there are a couple of tracks that I make an effort to avoid for that reason. However when I have the radio on in the car and one of those tunes comes on im then faced with a choice, mute the sound or listen, it's my choice how I proceed. What I wouldn't do is then ring the ŕadio station kicking off as they had the cheek to play something that could trigger some sadness, it's not the radio stations fault and most peeps will still enjoy those tracks. Yes triggers, words as I've found out can be a difficult minefield and even stretches into the realms of freedom of speech. This like any other subject I'm now finding is more complex than I ever thought it would be and the old saying applies "you can't please all.of the people all of the time" 😊😊.

Peace to ALL who may be reading this.

[Leisa]

I have read through your OP a few times and even responded once but unfortunately the site gods zapped it away before it posted. There will always be those with triggers. Frankly the term doormat is not a trigger for me and I’ve used it before in one of my forum threads. It too received some pushback but not like the pushback I’ve seen recently against anything you post. There is a huge difference between a perceived doormat in the BDSM dynamic and that of the vanilla world. With so many new coming into our community it is highly probable that those most offended are putting the vanilla world understanding of the word instead of the BDSM definition. Anyone willing to submit completely to their dominant to the point of consenting to being used in a manner deemed appropriate by the dominant is not a standard vanilla doormat but one who is intelligent, well educated, informed, consensual, and well versed in the dynamic to which they are a party to. I can see how someone new coming into the lifestyle may easily be conned into becoming a doormat or proverbial punching bag for a less than upstanding dominant (I’d call them ***rs) because they look around at other submissives and want to be an accepted member. It’s with this mindset that I would say words and intonation matter. Such is difficult in a written format as often the meaning gets list in the translation of the writers mind to the reader’s interruption. Be blessed Donny and know that while listening to another’s opinion is respectful it’s equally valid to discount their opinion as just that. Be blessed.

[Deleted Member]

On 7/21/2020 at 7:26 PM, Leisa said:

. Be blessed Donny and know that while listening to another’s opinion is respectful it’s equally valid to discount their opinion as just that. Be blessed.

You are a wonderful human being, thank you 😊

[De****]

1 hour ago, Leisa said:

I have read through your OP a few times and even responded once but unfortunately the site gods zapped it away before it posted. There will always be those with triggers. Frankly the term doormat is not a trigger for me and I’ve used it before in one of my forum threads. It too received some pushback but not like the pushback I’ve seen recently against anything you post. There is a huge difference between a perceived doormat in the BDSM dynamic and that of the vanilla world. With so many new coming into our community it is highly probable that those most offended are putting the vanilla world understanding of the word instead of the BDSM definition. Anyone willing to submit completely to their dominant to the point of consenting to being used in a manner deemed appropriate by the dominant is not a standard vanilla doormat but one who is intelligent, well educated, informed, consensual, and well versed in the dynamic to which they are a party to. I can see how someone new coming into the lifestyle may easily be conned into becoming a doormat or proverbial punching bag for a less than upstanding dominant (I’d call them ***rs) because they look around at other submissives and want to be an accepted member. It’s with this mindset that I would say words and intonation matter. Such is difficult in a written format as often the meaning gets list in the translation of the writers mind to the reader’s interruption. Be blessed Donny and know that while listening to another’s opinion is respectful it’s equally valid to discount their opinion as just that. Be blessed.

Sorry, and I mean no offence, but I find this comment extremely  patronising to new submissives. However, I think that there has been enough contention on this post and don’t want to drag it out further so will just leave my comment on record rather than go in to lengthy explanations. 

[Leisa]

1 hour ago, Demi_Seraphina said:

Sorry, and I mean no offence, but I find this comment extremely  patronising to new submissives. However, I think that there has been enough contention on this post and don’t want to drag it out further so will just leave my comment on record rather than go in to lengthy explanations. 

I’m sorry you feel that way. None was intended.

[De****]

18 hours ago, Leisa said:

I’m sorry you feel that way. None was intended.

I just tried to DM you rather than keep this on the public forum but your message filters don’t allow so I’ll just say that I realise you meant no offence and I appreciate you acknowledging my comment. It was based upon what you said and not you personally