Body shaming is seemingly never-ending

[Deleted Member]

@Annalou maybe a point to consider straight from the community 💗

[Vis-19]

I know the feeling of wanting to something and can't doing it because someone might laugh at.but not only the people but seriously alot should change companies, modeling agencies,brands etc

[LandRoverMan]

There is a reason i don't have a picture, i am fat, ugly to look at and full of self inflicted scars. Can't even look myself in the mirror... the self inflicted wounds stem from the years i dealt with sexual *** aftermath. If i made myself more ugly, it would stop. 12 year old me logic, i got d at school because i did not fit in, was quiet and all ready fighting depression and suicidal feelings. still, i am not pretty, hang together by that many coping mechanisms that my psychiatrist thinks it is better to stabilise and not treat. 

[SammyB]

In relation to body shaming on site I think the photographs star system could be changed to encourage people to share more .

Currently we have a 5 star option that gives the viewers the opportunity to star rate the pic surely that in itself is encouraging body shaming .

I think there are far nicer ways to encourage people to post pictures. The currents system can stop people from sharing pics . Who wants to receive a low rating . Let’s not forget beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and one man trash is another’s treasure . I for one would be asking for the system to be reviewed . I am a plus size girl and I don’t have body issues , does a star rating affect me .... hell no . However that not the case for all

[Nylon-Nellie]

@SammyB Simple like button will do the trick. I am plus size and I can never understand why raters give me either a 1* or 2*, they may as well not bother. But each to their own, as I cannot please everyone with my photos  A 1* rating is taking the p*sh, more so is when we do not know who has given us the 1* and 2* ratings, as the raters profile is hidden 

@little_dark_princess Hopefully the mods will pick up on this thread and consider using people of varying sizes, to promote the site better. 

[qu****]

I was just going to say a simple like button would be enough, beat me to it sweet-pea, no need for don't like, it serves no purpose

[SammyB]

25 minutes ago, sweet-pea71 said:

@SammyB Simple like button will do the trick. I am plus size and I can never understand why raters give me either a 1* or 2*, they may as well not bother. But each to their own, as I cannot please everyone with my photos  A 1* rating is taking the p*sh, more so is when we do not know who has given us the 1* and 2* ratings, as the raters profile is hidden 

@little_dark_princess Hopefully the mods will pick up on this thread and consider using people of varying sizes, to promote the site better. 

I totally agree sweet pea . For some people it is taking a brave step to post pics and could knock their confidence

We say we are a community that are open and non judgemental yet by using the star system we are actively encouraging people to judge 

Should those with hidden profiles or those without pics be allowed to rate others ? 

Pictures are no not simply used for attracting others or excuse the expression we know some use them as a personal wank bank moments 

For some people it may be a task given to improve confidence or to encourage growth , it can be used as learning tool 

Other sites have category’s to put your pics in so again it makes it easier for the viewer to choose a category that suits their needs and wants 

Sometimes when using the phone you try to click a 5 star and on occasion you  click something else ... then I feel the need to apologise for having a fat finger moment 

I think an online survey to get a broad selection of feedback from wider community would help 

I think it certainly could be a topic for an online munch ... why do you post pictures , what are they used for etc 

 

Sx 

 

 

 

 

[qu****]

Hidden profiles are another matter, why join and be invisible, shouldn't be allowed

[qu****]

Just plucked up courage and made a private pick public😕

[Nylon-Nellie]

@SammyB Yeah, I have had in the past, guys and young lads telling that they have wanked over my photos, even to the extent of photo collecting. So I have now hidden them. 

Hidden profiles or no photo profiles, cannot understand why they have none up for? 

Certainly does take alot for someone to post photos up.

[SammyB]

Certainly my experience is there are pic collectors on site 

Sx 

[Jinxy]

2 hours ago, SammyB said:

In relation to body shaming on site I think the photographs star system could be changed to encourage people to share more .

Currently we have a 5 star option that gives the viewers the opportunity to star rate the pic surely that in itself is encouraging body shaming .

I think there are far nicer ways to encourage people to post pictures. The currents system can stop people from sharing pics . Who wants to receive a low rating . Let’s not forget beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and one man trash is another’s treasure . I for one would be asking for the system to be reviewed . I am a plus size girl and I don’t have body issues , does a star rating affect me .... hell no . However that not the case for all

I also think it’s kind of silly that rating a pic gives people 5 points but actually contributing to discussions in the forum is only 1. With that kind of reward system it’s not a shock that people rate every picture they come across even if they don’t “like” them. 

[qu****]

It wouldn't be difficult to insist on a photo before being allowed to join, other sites manage to do it, not necessarily for profile pic, but for verification, as much as you can verify this way

[SammyB]

3 minutes ago, Jinxy said:

I also think it’s kind of silly that rating a pic gives people 5 points but actually contributing to discussions in the forum is only 1. With that kind of reward system it’s not a shock that people rate every picture they come across even if they don’t “like” them. 

Totally agree very valid point 

Sx 

[SammyB]

2 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

It wouldn't be difficult to insist on a photo before being allowed to join, other sites manage to do it, not necessarily for profile pic, but for verification, as much as you can verify this way

Some sites ask for photo of some description 

some sites insist of verification 

Sx 

[qu****]

But then we are encouraged to behave like this to get points for activities you do

[Deleted Member]

This site does ask for a varification picture as proof. If we ask for pictures, we are back in the senario of judgeing again. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we cannot get past this. One persons lovely view, is not necessarily the same as someone else. Will views ever really change????

[ju****]

Well this is a great topic! Now I've only been trying to get involved in the bdsm for the past 7months and bcuz of this covid thing I have not been able to go to a munch and see how diverse the community may be. Here on fetish I have met quit a few plus size woman but even though there have actually been times I felt maybe bdsm isn't meant for a big curvy girl like me....i see these ads, books written about bdsm, bdsm magazines and bdsm site's with these perfect beautiful thin women suspended in the air in the shape of a pretzel and i think "im flexible but wtf the rope alone would probably sbap" lolol not only things I see but also ive read profiles of doms wanting barbie dolls i mean im a very understanding openminded realistic woman and i do know that everyone has a type their attracted to but its just maybe how they are describing the preferences. Ive had doms ask me for naked pics the 1st time we talk and honestly im not comfortable with my body to hand over a naked pic so readily. A dom told me one time if you can't be fully naked to a dom then maybe this isn't the place for you. I do wonder at times was he right....

[SammyB]

17 minutes ago, justcurvysub said:

Well this is a great topic! Now I've only been trying to get involved in the bdsm for the past 7months and bcuz of this covid thing I have not been able to go to a munch and see how diverse the community may be. Here on fetish I have met quit a few plus size woman but even though there have actually been times I felt maybe bdsm isn't meant for a big curvy girl like me....i see these ads, books written about bdsm, bdsm magazines and bdsm site's with these perfect beautiful thin women suspended in the air in the shape of a pretzel and i think "im flexible but wtf the rope alone would probably sbap" lolol not only things I see but also ive read profiles of doms wanting barbie dolls i mean im a very understanding openminded realistic woman and i do know that everyone has a type their attracted to but its just maybe how they are describing the preferences. Ive had doms ask me for naked pics the 1st time we talk and honestly im not comfortable with my body to hand over a naked pic so readily. A dom told me one time if you can't be fully naked to a dom then maybe this isn't the place for you. I do wonder at times was he right....

There is a place for everyone in this community’ and lifestyle 

There  is a place for all sorts of shapes, sizes and body types and you’d be surprised what proper rope work can hold 

A lot of the images used are generally  stereotypical however the reality of it is the majority of us , both men and women are not that stereotypical image 

As for Dominants asking you for nudes within minutes ... yes it does happen.. It happen a lot ... are they true Dominants who are interested as you as a person and as a submissive .. absolutely not 

As for the Dominant who suggested if you can’t be naked around a Dom maybe your in the wrong place ....I would totally disagree ..... is giving a stranger nudes on your first chat submissive .... not in my opinion I think it’s the furthest thing from submission 

You will find someone who will be on you wave length who will introduce you to many things , talk to you , train you , guide you  ...this takes time to build trust 

Many online Dominants And by that they only have interactions online ... have never had a sub in real life , have never held floggers , crops , cane etc 

I think your idea of going to munches you will have far more positive experiences for you 

But getting back to the point ... you do have a place in this community should you choose to live in this lifestyle 

There are plenty of men and women who appreciate a curvy body 

As we keep saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder 

 Sx
 

 

 

 

  

[qu****]

Justcurvysub, im normally to shy to say some things, preferring PM's, but, errrm you are a beautiful woman,ummmm, 🤭

[ey****]

I've not read every comment (sorry) so apologies if I'm repeating things that have been said

it does feel like there's a few comments that are talking about different things.

There is a big difference between body shaming (like in the original post) and disregarding a profile because you don't like the photo (which is also actually difficult to prove - but - sometimes a photo can tell stories.)

So, for example - my weight fluctuates a bit - and I'm a little podgier at the minute due to lockdown.  I actually eat fairly sensibly - but obviously I've had less exercise be it walks between a metro station and my work place, or running around the country filming

So, if someone said to me something blatant ("you're fat") or something micro ("Wow, you'd be really hot if you lost a bit weight") that's body shaming.  

If I was to send someone a message and they weren't interested... then it's probably not. 

[qu****]

True, but the star system can be seen as a form of body shaming

[qu****]

If I like a photo it's always 5 stars( though on occasion I press 5 and it comes up 4 for some reason) if one does nothing for me I don't press at all, that's why we say a simple like would be amble

[qu****]

*ample*

[ey****]

1 hour ago, quietlysure said:

If I like a photo it's always 5 stars( though on occasion I press 5 and it comes up 4 for some reason) if one does nothing for me I don't press at all, that's why we say a simple like would be amble

the stars works on an average.  So if one person has voted 3 and you vote 5 it will show as 4.
But yep, I know the star system is being replaced here