the pleasure of ***

[Deleted Member]

I often read about the pleasure gained from inflicting *** on someone else, Dom's often describe the level of *** their sub will take, the marks, bruises, cuts all demonstrate the often brutality of what they have delivered. 

i want to throw this out to see if I am just weird or normal.

I don't get much pleasure from inflicting actual physical *** on a sub. I am often more worried about my strength (I am a big powerful man) The pleasure I get is from knowing that recieving that *** for her is satisfying a need in her, a need I don't fully understand, but a need neverthe less, bringing her to the very edge of her vulnerability and hurtling across the *** and pleasure divide in the safety of the scene we create. My joy  comes from the obvious signs of orgasmic pleasure each strike with my hand, paddle, whip of belt brings to her. Then after, as her breathing subsides and her body begins to relax. I get a thrill from her response as i run my fingers delicately over the marks which are left, the raised bumps on her skin, and the genle sighs which seem a normal response. 

So, the actual delivery of the *** does nothing for me really, it is the power, the control and the level of trust which I am responsible for nuturing which is a much bigger turn on for me 

 

did that make any sense or should i try getting my coffee delivered directly into the veins in future?

[Rocknrolla313]

Yes it's exactly the same for me.. I am not a masochist.. Its the control and submission that is the turn on for me rather tjan the actual action of inflicting ***

[sw****]

Sounds about right to be honest as a fan of *** receiving and infliction I can’t flaw your description here 😁👍

[Koby]

Personally, I derive no sexual pleasure from Sadism. Like yourself, I derive pleasure from a partners pleasure. This separates a Sadist from a psycho!!

 

Sadism presents an opportunity to have a safe release.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Koby said:

. This separates a Sadist from a psycho!!

 

 

Yet a literal sadist can be amongst the most caring of individuals. Being a sadist does not make a psycho, far from it in fact as there are such things as "caring sadists." To say literal sadists are psychos is for me totally wrong and quite insulting to those sadists who care deeply about the welfare of their partners

[Deleted Member]

@Donnykinkster I wouldn't have described someone as being a literal sadist. I was only saying that it was the external things which i found exciting... 

 

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, mr-average-joe said:

@Donnykinkster I wouldn't have described someone as being a literal sadist. I was only saying that it was the external things which i found exciting... 

 

It was not a reply to your comments friend. I am the same as you and take what I need from the reaction *** garners not the actual act itself. However literal sadists who take from the actual act itself can still be completely decent human beings and far from psychos as @Kobysaid.

[Deleted Member]

9 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

It was not a reply to your comments friend. I am the same as you and take what I need from the reaction *** garners not the actual act itself. However literal sadists who take from the actual act itself can still be completely decent human beings and far from psychos as @Kobysaid.

Oh I agree, i was just wondering if how i viewed things made me weird.... i am glad to know... it doesn't   haha

[Deleted Member]

32 minutes ago, mr-average-joe said:

Oh I agree, i was just wondering if how i viewed things made me weird.... i am glad to know... it doesn't   haha

We are all i think a little "weird" that's why we are here 😊. It's always better though to be amongst others who are cut from the same cloth.

[Koby]

2 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

It was not a reply to your comments friend. I am the same as you and take what I need from the reaction *** garners not the actual act itself. However literal sadists who take from the actual act itself can still be completely decent human beings and far from psychos as @Kobysaid.

Perhaps what I said was misinterpreted 

What separates a Sadist from a Psycho is the intention. As a Sadist, I revel in my partners pleasure that they gain from me giving them ***.

If my intention was to hurt or maim someone that would mean I am a psycho or atleast have ill intent.

[Wo****]

A literal sadist enjoys inflicting ***....

It's not about the person they're inflicting it on...

A caring sadist, however, enjoys inflicting *** for the pleasure of the masochist.

A literal sadist wouldn't care about the reaction.

Maybe, Idk.

[Deleted Member]

38 minutes ago, Bounty said:

 

A literal sadist wouldn't care about the reaction.

Maybe, Idk.

I think a literal cares very much about the reaction but more for his own needs rather than his partner. The reaction is what I think all seek but for different reasons. 

[Ta****]

As a 'Submissive' I am not a great *** fan myself, certainly not extreme *** and ***.

But I have taken a certain amount of *** for to please a Dominant partner.   As for some Doms on this thread, the pleasure for me comes primarily from the sense of power and control delivered rather than from the ***.

But I can understand why some may enjoy ***.  It is merely another bodily sensation, much like itching or orgasm, albeit a more extreme one.

Some people enjoy the sensation of ***, and the rush of adrenaline that produces, although many may find it disagreeable.  The same goes for ***.

So I am not against the infliction of *** per se.  Some kinksters obviously enjoy it and that's fine.

Edited August 6, 2020 by TammyNatalia
To add words....

[Deleted Member]

I thought that sadists and masochists are both aroused by the *** itself - giving or receiving. And perhaps both are also aroused by the reactions and enjoyment of their partner. But primarily the *** = arousal.

[Th****]

@mr-average-joe That sounds a pretty reasonable description of the  reasoning you speak of. 

I may differ in that I enjoy all the same things you just described but I would be lying if I said that inflicting the *** itself did not turn me on as well.

For me it is a more difficult version of my self to reconcile but even if it is to hard for my submissive to enjoy it (,yet within her limits of course.) I would still get turned on watching her take that *** for me. 

Do I class myself as a sadist , oddly no ...   Should I , apparently yes.

4 hours ago, Bounty said:

A literal sadist enjoys inflicting ***....

It's not about the person they're inflicting it on...

A caring sadist, however, enjoys inflicting *** for the pleasure of the masochist.

A literal sadist wouldn't care about the reaction.

Maybe, Idk.

Here I totally get what I think you meant Bounty, this spoke to me .

You see I am lucky enough to have a submissive who has limits that extend further than mine at this point. So I fall into the 'Caring Sadist' category.

This makes more sense when I consider if the thought of causing a random person *** turns me on or a non-consenting person, and it does not in fact it does quite the opposite.

 

 

I find I have to ask myself in perfect honesty what if my submissive had the same limits as she does now but only enjoyed light ***.

Would I want to use her selfishly just for my pleasure?  -  Yes I would.

Would I desire to cause her more *** even if I did not?  -  Yes I would.

 

So I propose a third category between 'Literal Sadist' and 'Caring sadist' 

Consensual Sadist - Plays within limits set and consented to but not always for the masochists pleasure.

 

[Deleted Member]

 

As an observed and self confessed Sadist which to be honest I didn’t see for quite some time and full internal acknowledgment 15 yrs of so (prob longer and in denial) lol

 

I’d say yes your description is a representation of the head space that a great deal of Dom,Dommes and Tops exhibit without crossing the line into the land of a Sadist where inflicting *** as I do which is for my enjoyment what you describe is crossing into the land of a type of compersion (gaining pleasure from witnessing pleasure in others) then your joy at giving that and having the power to control that.

 

Yes you can have Sadistic tendencies without actually crossing the line into being a Sadist.  You can be caring and get your drive and pleasure from the pleasure you see within your s type this intertwines with the whole dynamic and pleasure gained from the Commitment seen in an s type to endure. 

 

Now the differences to consider if thinking am I or aren’t I a Sadist well from my perspective do you enjoy the infliction of *** just for the pure pleasure of the suffering you see before you the flinch the hand shy reactions the tears (fuck me that works every time)

 

Do you gain pleasure from the mental *** before you of the endurance of acceptance of there fate so to speak.  I will inflict *** at anytime I see fit for my pure and entertainment say grab my girl at any time and maybe twist her nipples just for the reaction or such  (I’ll make the point before anyone gets on one this is all understood within our dynamic which is as close to 24/7 and never stops).   I don’t have to be in a scene same as day to day life do I take unhealthy pleasure from others discomfort yeah I do but I’m not going to inflict *** without TRUE CONSENT.  Anyone that crosses the line without consent is either and ***r or psycho which I’m neither I just enjoy certain things. 

 

Please don’t misjudge here If I can inflict *** for the joy of my masochist then hey this goes both ways so finding the fit and the right person is the most important thing overall so that you don’t become viewed as an ***r and everyone’s happy and fulfilled and you don’t end up with the police at your door. 

 

Remember all this requires a huge amount of time and commitment and massive amount of communication. 

 

Always consider SSC (safe sane and consensual)

 

 

 

Play safe and enjoy. 

 

MrC. 

 

[Deleted Member]

The dance I get into with my sadistic partner is that I am enjoying receiving the *** only because it is sexually exciting to my partner for him to inflict it. The right kind of sadistic guy for me makes me feel appreciated for offering my suffering as a gift. He makes me feel I'm giving something very personal, intimate, and valuable. There's a mutual dance, for me. I wouldn't be able to connect with the wonderful gentleman OP. I need my partner's arousal at causing my suffering to find my own arousal from the suffering. But I do consider myself at least partly a masochist, and not only submissive, because I dearly want my sadistic lover to let me do my best to humiliate and degrade myself before him, to let me find purpose in being, in scene, nothing more to him than a source of pleasure. And part of me needs to not enjoy what my sadistic lover is doing to me. A desire for consensual non-consent is strong in me, with the right guy. And the right guy for me has to have some sadism in him, and I know from experience, some sadists are very stand up people who just need/desire something that many others don't.