Our journey's in to this lifestyle!!!!

[li****]

My journey in to this lifestyle

My journey has been a rocky one but also an amazing one. As we all know if you read one of my previous posts on the forum here, that my first ever D/s experience was horrifying and horrific. Not only the *** I felt after someone went past my safe word, but also the sheer embarrassment I felt for letting it happen also stayed with me for a long time, so much so I left the scene for 6 months after just to get my head straight again. But I always knew the sub was there inside of me and I couldn't keep her down, so I came back to fetish and since met my Sir and made some amazing friends!!! 

I always knew I was submissive since I was a young ***agner but then I got in an abusive relationship and yes we tried things but I never got a say or knew about limits ect all I knew was that he spanked me once and held me down and I enjoyed it. It stired something deep within me I knew that I got turned on by it. I then found erotic novels and then hard core BDSM books and novels also. It again sparked something in me I just knew I wanted this lifestyle I wanted to live and breathe it. So I did some reading and then an American author who I'm friends with told me about fetish and that was more than 3 years ago!!! And now I'm part of the furniture here lol. So I would like to know what sparked your journey in to this lifestyle? And how you got to where you are now? When did you realize when the Dom/me or sub part of you came to the forefront? 

 

[cu****]

I always knew I was sub from a young age, I felt ashamed of it for a long time until I met a domme who I had many conversations with about it. She is now a very good friend of mine and if it wasn’t for her I would still be ashamed of what I am and living a lie, a very unhappy and lonely life. I’m now in a new relationship and with a wonderful woman who fully understands me and allows me to live my true self. She is now my mistress and we are both very happy. She is not an experienced domme so we are on this journey together and learning every day.

[TeeJay_98]

I knew from a young age and have been actively in the scene for around 6 years now.. 

 

I have never been able to pinpoint what the main cause of my attraction to this life was, but when I think in depth I come to a conclusion that I accept. 

 

From a young age I suffered *** at the hands of others, I wont go into depth but I do believe that those experiences may have pulled me onto this road... 

 

Back then I had no control over what happened to me, but when I found my first D, I realised that I wasn't leading a normal life, they taught me about safety and consent and about the lifestyle.

They helped me learn more about myself and I found that I liked alot more than I thought I did/ever would. 

I learnt that I am in control and I do deserve more! I am worth more than the worth I was made to feel due to my past. 

 

I believe all my experiences in life have all lead me to one road and Im glad to have been able to meet some lovely people on the way. I have met some amazing friends who I can call my 'kink fam' and I'm grateful for all the support they have shown me. 

I think of myself as a very lucky person, I have grand friends around me and I have now found a Dom who also believes I am more. 

 

The net of support and love I have found in this lifestyle will always be more than I can explain. 💚💚💚 Thankyou all 😘 

Edited August 6, 2020 by TJ_Pup
Spelling 😂

[Newby-9267]

I am new to the scene..I know I am a submissive..but not sure where to go from here..reading through all these messages for guidance and inspiration

[li****]

5 hours ago, curious_sophie said:

I always knew I was sub from a young age, I felt ashamed of it for a long time until I met a domme who I had many conversations with about it. She is now a very good friend of mine and if it wasn’t for her I would still be ashamed of what I am and living a lie, a very unhappy and lonely life. I’m now in a new relationship and with a wonderful woman who fully understands me and allows me to live my true self. She is now my mistress and we are both very happy. She is not an experienced domme so we are on this journey together and learning every day.

I'm glad you've found your mistress now and you're both happy. Yes it's new for both of you but as long as you have communication and learn and grow together then your journeys will be endless. 💜

[li****]

4 hours ago, TJ_Pup said:

I knew from a young age and have been actively in the scene for around 6 years now.. 

 

I have never been able to pinpoint what the main cause of my attraction to this life was, but when I think in depth I come to a conclusion that I accept. 

 

From a young age I suffered *** at the hands of others, I wont go into depth but I do believe that those experiences may have pulled me onto this road... 

 

Back then I had no control over what happened to me, but when I found my first D, I realised that I wasn't leading a normal life, they taught me about safety and consent and about the lifestyle.

They helped me learn more about myself and I found that I liked alot more than I thought I did/ever would. 

I learnt that I am in control and I do deserve more! I am worth more than the worth I was made to feel due to my past. 

 

I believe all my experiences in life have all lead me to one road and Im glad to have been able to meet some lovely people on the way. I have met some amazing friends who I can call my 'kink fam' and I'm grateful for all the support they have shown me. 

I think of myself as a very lucky person, I have grand friends around me and I have now found a Dom who also believes I am more. 

 

The net of support and love I have found in this lifestyle will always be more than I can explain. 💚💚💚 Thankyou all 😘 

All I ever knew before this lifestyle was *** also and it took me a while to realise that I had a say and I had limits ect!!! I have watched you grow so much Tee while being here, it's been a privilege to watch and I'm so happy that you have your MrJ now and I'm so privileged to call you both close friends. 💜💜😻

Edited August 6, 2020 by lil-monster
Added more

[TeeJay_98]

1 hour ago, lil-monster said:

All I ever knew before this lifestyle was *** also and it took me a while to realise that I had a say and I had limits ect!!! I have watched you grow so much Tee while being here, it's been a privilege to watch and I'm so happy that you have your MrJ now and I'm so privileged to call you both close friends. 💜💜😻

All the love for you 💚💚🐶 

[li****]

11 minutes ago, TJ_Pup said:

All the love for you 💚💚🐶 

All the love for you too my pup friend🐶💜💜

[Wi****]

my journey into this lifestyle has been a long journey.

I have always been submissive and always aware I had a feminin side, which I was quite confused about for a long time, it wasn't until my early 20's that I started to try to understand it.

I tried coming out to my friends about it but was met with mixed reactions some were understanding others not so much they just took the *** which led to me suppressing my feelings about it and I went back into my shell, ive never been the most outgoing person anyway. It wasn't until I made a couple of online friends that I started to explore things more and come to terms with my feminin feelings. One of them mentioned fetish.com.

I took the leap and joined and im so glad I did through making friends here, I've been able to learn more about myself and my feelings which is fabulous. I now have a Domme and look forward to exploring things further i feel so much more comfortable with myself and my kink. The friends I have here i consider kink family. 

The journey has been long but ultimately worth it and rewarding.

[Deleted Member]

This is a great thread Lilm one I feel could give others the opportunity to open up that little bit more.

My story has in some respects been more public than I care for ! But in others very much in the dark. 
 

As with many of us I was exposed to inappropriate and sexually abusive behaviour from the age of 13, I do feel this in some respects was a trigger for the kink side of me. 
 

I always had a desire to be controlled , ***d ... dominated but it was something I didn’t really understand . I got married had my kids followed all the social norms but longed for more ... for something and I couldn’t work it out. 
 

My  was wonderful because he is and was my best friend ... in turn it wasn’t what it should have been because he was my best friend! So I began to explore, at first it was googling and private thought . 
 

Then I found fetish about 3 yrs ago ! My life hasn’t been the same !! I began open dialog with my husband and found a D and wow it was a journey! 
 

Now three years later and a really bumpy road !! I’m no longer married but now have my best friend and father to my kids still very much in my life and best of all .... I found the love of my life my Dominant , my partner , my everything and that was all through this website. Since I was 13yrs old Iv lived with some level of deceit but now I’m truly free. I am my submissive self and I don’t even realise it because Iv found where I fit and who I fit with ! 
 

This journey is an adventure and our has just begun ! 

Edited August 6, 2020 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[li****]

2 hours ago, Willow75 said:

my journey into this lifestyle has been a long journey.

I have always been submissive and always aware I had a feminin side, which I was quite confused about for a long time, it wasn't until my early 20's that I started to try to understand it.

I tried coming out to my friends about it but was met with mixed reactions some were understanding others not so much they just took the *** which led to me suppressing my feelings about it and I went back into my shell, ive never been the most outgoing person anyway. It wasn't until I made a couple of online friends that I started to explore things more and come to terms with my feminin feelings. One of them mentioned fetish.com.

I took the leap and joined and im so glad I did through making friends here, I've been able to learn more about myself and my feelings which is fabulous. I now have a Domme and look forward to exploring things further i feel so much more comfortable with myself and my kink. The friends I have here i consider kink family. 

The journey has been long but ultimately worth it and rewarding.

I'm so happy you found this website willow I can vouch that I've seen you grow so much in the time we've known each other here and I'm so happy that you're finally coming out your shell and have found your Domme, who I believe will bring out the best in you but she'll give you even more confidence than you have now. The journey will always be worth it I believe!!!! 💋💜

[Mo****]

First of all to those that have already commented, and to those that will comment.  EVERYONE is special in their own way, whether they be submissives or dominants.  Dominants however need to prove how special they are by the way they treat submissives, because submissives have had a hard journey getting to where they are now, or in the future, due to mental confusions, *** and generally poor treatment.  BDSM is NOT just about kinky sex, or sex at all for that matter.  It is the mental/psychological aspects of a person that drives this lifestyle.

Yes dominants drive relationships/dynamics, but it is the submissives that really hold the power, and there are many who do not understand the control they have, or how to wield/manage that power, which leads to confusion.  A lot of submissives are uncomfortable with that notion and it takes the right dominant in their lives, like my friend lil_monster has, for them to realise and happily live with those circumstances.

@Newby if you ever want to chat, then please feel free to contact me, and if I can give you guidance, then you will be armed with knowledge from  an old school but progressive dominant.  Should anyone wish to chat - please hit me up, and I will give you whatever assistance I can.  

Right, for me and how I entered the realms of BDSM.  In my younger days, I was very much a 'root rat' who would never let an opportunity pass by.  Because of this I got into the 'swinging scene'.  As a result of the acceptance I gained there, and the realisation that there was more, and 'stranger' things happening in the background.  As my involvement grew, the more I was exposed to kinkier aspects, and I enjoyed what was there to get involved in, whether it be groups or rough/physical/***ing aspects.  I slowly drifted away from the swinging side of things and more into kink and BDSM.  Because of the job I had at the time, I had to use and rely heavily on psychology, and it was this that had me looking into what drove people, what impacts *** had on submissives, and the impacts of gender confusion.  And it is all this that has me on where I am today.  Given I am now into my mid 60s, I am not going to go into too many specifics, but I have very much been the alpha male, I have taken others partners as a 'bull', and had male friends, close friends, go through the gender confusion and ultimately transition to female.  So I feel for people like @Willow75 and the battles/confusion that they have had to face through their lives.

We in this lifestyle should never judge others.  Because unless we have walked in their shoes, we will never understand unless we have open minds and understand that each and every person is driven/controlled by specific things.  

[li****]

15 hours ago, Newby said:

I am new to the scene..I know I am a submissive..but not sure where to go from here..reading through all these messages for guidance and inspiration

Welcome to the website and I can guarantee you'll find many people here Dom's and subs who will be willing to help you. Just know also no question is stupid 🙂 there are plenty of articles in the magazine here and forum posts that can and will help you and many members too have that experience to help and support you if you need it. 

[li****]

10 hours ago, 87cheekysub said:

This is a great thread Lilm one I feel could give others the opportunity to open up that little bit more.

My story has in some respects been more public than I care for ! But in others very much in the dark. 
 

As with many of us I was exposed to inappropriate and sexually abusive behaviour from the age of 13, I do feel this in some respects was a trigger for the kink side of me. 
 

I always had a desire to be controlled , ***d ... dominated but it was something I didn’t really understand . I got married had my kids followed all the social norms but longed for more ... for something and I couldn’t work it out. 
 

My  was wonderful because he is and was my best friend ... in turn it wasn’t what it should have been because he was my best friend! So I began to explore, at first it was googling and private thought . 
 

Then I found fetish about 3 yrs ago ! My life hasn’t been the same !! I began open dialog with my husband and found a D and wow it was a journey! 
 

Now three years later and a really bumpy road !! I’m no longer married but now have my best friend and father to my kids still very much in my life and best of all .... I found the love of my life my Dominant , my partner , my everything and that was all through this website. Since I was 13yrs old Iv lived with some level of deceit but now I’m truly free. I am my submissive self and I don’t even realise it because Iv found where I fit and who I fit with ! 
 

This journey is an adventure and our has just begun ! 

Thank you cheeky!!! And thank you for sharing your journey 💞 I know how tough it's been for you both but you and MrC have showed how strong you are and have come out the other side!!! It saddens me that many subs I speak to have suffered with *** in some form but it shows how strong we are that we broke free and finally living our true life and being our true self 💕

[li****]

6 hours ago, MossyBoy said:

First of all to those that have already commented, and to those that will comment.  EVERYONE is special in their own way, whether they be submissives or dominants.  Dominants however need to prove how special they are by the way they treat submissives, because submissives have had a hard journey getting to where they are now, or in the future, due to mental confusions, *** and generally poor treatment.  BDSM is NOT just about kinky sex, or sex at all for that matter.  It is the mental/psychological aspects of a person that drives this lifestyle.

Yes dominants drive relationships/dynamics, but it is the submissives that really hold the power, and there are many who do not understand the control they have, or how to wield/manage that power, which leads to confusion.  A lot of submissives are uncomfortable with that notion and it takes the right dominant in their lives, like my friend lil_monster has, for them to realise and happily live with those circumstances.

@Newby if you ever want to chat, then please feel free to contact me, and if I can give you guidance, then you will be armed with knowledge from  an old school but progressive dominant.  Should anyone wish to chat - please hit me up, and I will give you whatever assistance I can.  

Right, for me and how I entered the realms of BDSM.  In my younger days, I was very much a 'root rat' who would never let an opportunity pass by.  Because of this I got into the 'swinging scene'.  As a result of the acceptance I gained there, and the realisation that there was more, and 'stranger' things happening in the background.  As my involvement grew, the more I was exposed to kinkier aspects, and I enjoyed what was there to get involved in, whether it be groups or rough/physical/***ing aspects.  I slowly drifted away from the swinging side of things and more into kink and BDSM.  Because of the job I had at the time, I had to use and rely heavily on psychology, and it was this that had me looking into what drove people, what impacts *** had on submissives, and the impacts of gender confusion.  And it is all this that has me on where I am today.  Given I am now into my mid 60s, I am not going to go into too many specifics, but I have very much been the alpha male, I have taken others partners as a 'bull', and had male friends, close friends, go through the gender confusion and ultimately transition to female.  So I feel for people like @Willow75 and the battles/confusion that they have had to face through their lives.

We in this lifestyle should never judge others.  Because unless we have walked in their shoes, we will never understand unless we have open minds and understand that each and every person is driven/controlled by specific things.  

Thank you mossy for sharing 💜 I would love to hear from more Dom's on this thread of how their journeys began so thank you for sharing yours!!! I've heard from many people how they were swingers first then headed down the BDSM/kink route. 

This lifestyle is amazing in the way that there is no judgment etc and it's clear you've helped so many in this lifestyle to open up and be who they are supposed to be. You're a wonderful person mossy and I'm glad to call you a friend.

[Deleted Member]

I always knew I was different from an early age. At school when all the other guys were desperate to get off with girls and have sex I wanted that too, but I also wanted to tie them and spank them. It was a really confusing time because I knew that I didn’t want to hurt them, just the opposite, I wanted them to really enjoy it too. 
 Having no one to discuss it with I pretty much buried my feelings and they stayed a secret fantasy for many years. In my early twenties I met a Dom and spent many hours talking to him about bdsm. He would patiently answer all my questions and kind of took me under his wing . It was wonderful having someone to discuss everything with, not be judged and encouraged to take things further. I will never forget the first fetish event I went to with him, I’d found my people and it felt like I’d come home. 

[li****]

55 minutes ago, Liam52 said:

I always knew I was different from an early age. At school when all the other guys were desperate to get off with girls and have sex I wanted that too, but I also wanted to tie them and spank them. It was a really confusing time because I knew that I didn’t want to hurt them, just the opposite, I wanted them to really enjoy it too. 
 Having no one to discuss it with I pretty much buried my feelings and they stayed a secret fantasy for many years. In my early twenties I met a Dom and spent many hours talking to him about bdsm. He would patiently answer all my questions and kind of took me under his wing . It was wonderful having someone to discuss everything with, not be judged and encouraged to take things further. I will never forget the first fetish event I went to with him, I’d found my people and it felt like I’d come home. 

Aw thank you Sir for sharing 😻 I love that you had a mentor so to speak to help guide you on your journey ☺️ and it's true I love how we can talk to others in this lifestyle and not be judged ♥️

[Deleted Member]

Growing up in life in the mid 80's, without a care in the world what would happen later in life, I never thought where my journey would take me, where i would end up. Oh how i wish i could go back in time and say to myself think long and hard about you're next step at that 80's street party, it's when i first had my experience of fetish addictions, the 80's glam look rock boots, pvc, high heels knee boots, worn by a punk standing there in her beauty without a care in the world, took my breath instantly just staring at the boots from across the street watching her walk away with her friends, i have never seen such beauty ....

 

That day changed my life that i kept in the dark dwells trying to keep my unwanted feelings at bay,  knowing my weakness and my strengths, until 2008 that i took my first step into a world that is more acceptable these days, the love and lust of fetish play and bdsm. 

 

Funny thing really its been around for many centuries hidden at bay to some flaunted by others, More so how are unwanted feelings in life are wanted by others to explore, play with bend you, mould you feed your passions of love, lust, impulse ...

 

this is my unwanted / wanted feelings of my fetishes, those hidden for many a dark year, I am here doing this for me. No other. Was i born with this inside me, or does it yearn to come out of me, either way its at the forefront of me, this is me, this is who i am.

[Wo****]

Mine started with my LDR I guess. He encouraged me to join here, make new friends, find a playmate, until I moved over there. He didn't "do" jealousy. All he asked was that I was safe and honest with him.

 

Then I met LazyPirate. We started off in a D/s dynamic and explored whipping together. He taught me so much about kink, about limits, boundaries, red flags. He explained RACK, SSC and PRICK. Guided me.

 

We were, and still are, close. 

 

I discovered that I'm poly. I didn't wanna go live in the US. I didn't wanna be mono. Considered all my possibilities, including living with Pirate (which was a great idea at the time, and would still be easy to do) but he has different long term plans to me.

 

My ex and I had been back in touch and a chance off the cuff comment led to us reconnecting.

Pirate and I talked, agreed that we were better off as friends and playmates. My ex and I talked properly, and probably for the first time, honestly.

 

Now, I am in a self contained studio in VoyagerX garden. 

Voyager had to throw me out of the nest (another story)... I made my own, learned to fly (with the help of so many people... Pirate, Vandalslut to name a couple) and I came home to roost.... my own nest next to his.

 

I have everything I dreamed of....

My family...

My partner....

My playmates....

My friends....

 

 

All that..... and it's only just begun 😊

[Si****]

I was introduced to the lifestyle when i was 17. I was a naive, innocent sub then but i started seeing a woman (25) who was engaged to another man at the time (I didn't know). It just sneaked up to me and spanked my arse. lol

The relationship lasted two years, with me being her bit on the side and only meeting when she wanted. She taught me loads including how she loved letting her best friend have fun with me as well. I kept wanting more from her and wanted our relationship to be more than the occasional meet up, I had fallen for her but she was reluctant. When I found out she was already in a relationship, she was then married, I ended the relationship and felt used.

However I don't regret the fun I had and the lessons learned. I was broken hearted over it but also felt I had grown up so much more than my friends. We have spoken on FB since and she still tells me she misses me. Over the years I found my Dominant side came to the front which I think she had planted the seed into me.

[li****]

On 8/14/2020 at 3:47 PM, gaggedredraw said:

this is my unwanted / wanted feelings of my fetishes, those hidden for many a dark year, I am here doing this for me. No other. Was i born with this inside me, or does it yearn to come out of me, either way its at the forefront of me, this is me, this is who i am.

Thank you for sharing your journey!! And this I have to agree with its at the forefront of me I am a sub always will be it's in my *** , my being it's my everything.

[li****]

15 hours ago, Bounty said:

Mine started with my LDR I guess. He encouraged me to join here, make new friends, find a playmate, until I moved over there. He didn't "do" jealousy. All he asked was that I was safe and honest with him.

 

Then I met LazyPirate. We started off in a D/s dynamic and explored whipping together. He taught me so much about kink, about limits, boundaries, red flags. He explained RACK, SSC and PRICK. Guided me.

 

We were, and still are, close. 

 

I discovered that I'm poly. I didn't wanna go live in the US. I didn't wanna be mono. Considered all my possibilities, including living with Pirate (which was a great idea at the time, and would still be easy to do) but he has different long term plans to me.

 

My ex and I had been back in touch and a chance off the cuff comment led to us reconnecting.

Pirate and I talked, agreed that we were better off as friends and playmates. My ex and I talked properly, and probably for the first time, honestly.

 

Now, I am in a self contained studio in VoyagerX garden. 

Voyager had to throw me out of the nest (another story)... I made my own, learned to fly (with the help of so many people... Pirate, Vandalslut to name a couple) and I came home to roost.... my own nest next to his.

 

I have everything I dreamed of....

My family...

My partner....

My playmates....

My friends....

 

 

All that..... and it's only just begun 😊

I love your journey and thank you for sharing @Bounty it's been amazing to watch you grow while I've been here!!! And I'm so happy for you ☺️ that you have @VoyagerX in your life now and what you had with Lazy too. 

Edited August 17, 2020 by lil-monster

[li****]

14 hours ago, SirGreen said:

I was introduced to the lifestyle when i was 17. I was a naive, innocent sub then but i started seeing a woman (25) who was engaged to another man at the time (I didn't know). It just sneaked up to me and spanked my arse. lol

The relationship lasted two years, with me being her bit on the side and only meeting when she wanted. She taught me loads including how she loved letting her best friend have fun with me as well. I kept wanting more from her and wanted our relationship to be more than the occasional meet up, I had fallen for her but she was reluctant. When I found out she was already in a relationship, she was then married, I ended the relationship and felt used.

However I don't regret the fun I had and the lessons learned. I was broken hearted over it but also felt I had grown up so much more than my friends. We have spoken on FB since and she still tells me she misses me. Over the years I found my Dominant side came to the front which I think she had planted the seed into me.

Thank you for sharing your journey!!!! And all it takes it that little something to happen to bring our sides out and when we look back we see those little seeds that were planted. 

[VoyagerX]

The untold want by life and land

Ne'er granted

Now voyager

Sail though forth

To seek

And find.

 

[VoyagerX]

I've gained allot of strength and understanding from these posts and friends on here. 

I am not alone in having an abusive, psychological and sexually twisted upbringing.

It's different for everyone. 

Kink allows me to be who I am

It sets me free.