Our journey's in to this lifestyle!!!!

[Bo****]

🙏Respect....🙏

[helenOfToy]

I have very few memories from my childhood, most of them unpleasant. Not memories of physical or sexual ***, just of loneliness, and of feeling 'different'. I vaguely remember my older brother teasing me for 'being a girl', and, my parents' consistent disinterest in my mental and emotional well-being. In my years at school I struggled, both with making friends, and with learning. I was the typical loner, just thought of as being odd and made fun of by most. I just did my best to 'act normal', keep my head down and try to survive. I am sure that if not for my considerable size, I would have suffered from physical bullying. When such friends as I had were pairing off, forming relationships and having fun, I was left behind, without any idea of what I was doing wrong. So I tried to convince myself that everything would fall into place and carried on dutifully following the path my parents had laid out for me, go to school, go to university, get a job, get married, provide them with grand*** etc. Essentially a carbon copy of their lives. Deep down, I think I always knew that life wasn't for me, I just didn't know why. Looking back to those early years, it may be that I did know who and what I was, unfortunately I had the kind of parents who would have 'strongly discouraged' any 'deviant' tendencies, or indeed anything which would have been either an inconvenience or an embarrassment to them. Fast forward 25 years, I found my falling apart, my wife holding me in utter contempt, and me depressed to the point of planning ***, the life they had set me on was disintegrating around me.

Then everything changed. I finally found the courage to realise that there was no point in being afraid of being alone, because I already was, and had been all my life. So taking my last shred of dignity, I told my wife that I was leaving. She told me not to bother because she was leaving. It turns out, that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I went looking for what I wanted, for the first time. I first found some of my kinks 20 years ago, so that was the direction I chose to journey in, and that journey led me here. I went looking for my confident, happy side and discovered that not only was it there beneath the surface all along, but that she was female. 8 months on, I'm still coming to terms with what that really means, but I am now most of the time living as a woman, and I have never felt happier, or more confident. I'm certain that it was that happiness and confidence which led me to my Mistress.

My journey is still just beginning, and so far it's been an incredible ride. I can barely imagine where I will be this time next year.

[li****]

On 8/18/2020 at 4:29 AM, VoyagerX said:

I've gained allot of strength and understanding from these posts and friends on here. 

I am not alone in having an abusive, psychological and sexually twisted upbringing.

It's different for everyone. 

Kink allows me to be who I am

It sets me free.

Kink does that for me too it sets me free and let's me be me!!!! It's definitely different for everyone and I love how people have come out the other end of *** and are finally happy as am I after years of *** and bad relationships. There is no judgement in kink and that's what I love unlike the vanilla world where we get dirty looks etc. We can all be set free and be our true selves here.

[li****]

20 hours ago, Paul_aka_Helen said:

I have very few memories from my childhood, most of them unpleasant. Not memories of physical or sexual ***, just of loneliness, and of feeling 'different'. I vaguely remember my older brother teasing me for 'being a girl', and, my parents' consistent disinterest in my mental and emotional well-being. In my years at school I struggled, both with making friends, and with learning. I was the typical loner, just thought of as being odd and made fun of by most. I just did my best to 'act normal', keep my head down and try to survive. I am sure that if not for my considerable size, I would have suffered from physical bullying. When such friends as I had were pairing off, forming relationships and having fun, I was left behind, without any idea of what I was doing wrong. So I tried to convince myself that everything would fall into place and carried on dutifully following the path my parents had laid out for me, go to school, go to university, get a job, get married, provide them with grand*** etc. Essentially a carbon copy of their lives. Deep down, I think I always knew that life wasn't for me, I just didn't know why. Looking back to those early years, it may be that I did know who and what I was, unfortunately I had the kind of parents who would have 'strongly discouraged' any 'deviant' tendencies, or indeed anything which would have been either an inconvenience or an embarrassment to them. Fast forward 25 years, I found my falling apart, my wife holding me in utter contempt, and me depressed to the point of planning ***, the life they had set me on was disintegrating around me.

Then everything changed. I finally found the courage to realise that there was no point in being afraid of being alone, because I already was, and had been all my life. So taking my last shred of dignity, I told my wife that I was leaving. She told me not to bother because she was leaving. It turns out, that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I went looking for what I wanted, for the first time. I first found some of my kinks 20 years ago, so that was the direction I chose to journey in, and that journey led me here. I went looking for my confident, happy side and discovered that not only was it there beneath the surface all along, but that she was female. 8 months on, I'm still coming to terms with what that really means, but I am now most of the time living as a woman, and I have never felt happier, or more confident. I'm certain that it was that happiness and confidence which led me to my Mistress.

My journey is still just beginning, and so far it's been an incredible ride. I can barely imagine where I will be this time next year.

Helen I've seen and watch you grow since you've joined here and its been amazing to watch your sissy side come out and be fully accepted 💜 your journey IS just beginning and it will be amazing the ride will be bumpy at times and have ups and downs but boy is it the best journey you'll ever go on. I'm still on mine 4 years after releasing my sub side and I don't think I'll ever get off this rollercoaster!!!!! And I know I can't wait for the next chapter in my journey and I'm sure you feel the same 😍

 

 

Edited August 21, 2020 by lil-monster
Added more

[Deleted Member]

So me and my ex of 8 years had some experience together but it was just a dash of BDSM here and there. He was the dominant one and i was the submissive one but i wouldny of describe us (back then) as a dom and a sub. I was more into it that him, so we didn't really dip our toes in to often.

So what i count as my first play with a proper dom happened about 2 and half years ago. It was at the end of my long term relationship and me and my partner decided to try a open relationship. I met this guy online. We spoke for quite awhile. He then picked me up from work the first  he did when i got in his car was put his hand around my throat and hand up my skirt ( pre discussed ofcourse) and we drove to some woods (in day light) and found a little hidden place. He stripped me off and edged me then pushed me to my knees and y'know 😜💦. We then got back in his car and he dropped me off home. I felt so alive and excited in that whole moment and afterwards and i just wanted more. We only met up once more after that. We were very causal but he did want to take me to some clubs and show me more of that life style. Just wrong time when we met. 

 

I got to where i am now by going through some really good and also fucked up things that happened to me. But now im in a great relationship with my partner, he is a switch and now ive tried switching its awesome . Love it when my dominant side comes out. The confidence it gives me is amazing but i prefer being a brat majority of the time. Mistress only makes a appearance every so often. 

 

 

[VoyagerX]

Phew.....what can I say? Very hot. Thankyou for sharing....

Your introduction to a proper Dom is perfect. Got to say that floats my boat.

Being in a great relationship and exploring our Switches is something we're exploring too.......Fun isn't it? x

 

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, VoyagerX said:

Phew.....what can I say? Very hot. Thankyou for sharing....

Your introduction to a proper Dom is perfect. Got to say that floats my boat.

Being in a great relationship and exploring our Switches is something we're exploring too.......Fun isn't it? x

 

Haha thank you! 

 

It was perfect way to start! And he does message me once in a blue moon, to see if I'm okay and if he can take me to a club night 😂

 

It's very fun! Me and my partner have know each other 6 years been dating 8 months and recently moved in together. So its great growing from best friends into so much more x

[Mo****]

@LilMissBrat I would love to have known you in the beginning so that I could watch in awe as you have grown.  YOU are someone special, with a great mind and attitude, and I am sure your current partner sees these same things in you.  Enjoy life dear girl.

[li****]

11 hours ago, LilMissBrat said:

So me and my ex of 8 years had some experience together but it was just a dash of BDSM here and there. He was the dominant one and i was the submissive one but i wouldny of describe us (back then) as a dom and a sub. I was more into it that him, so we didn't really dip our toes in to often.

So what i count as my first play with a proper dom happened about 2 and half years ago. It was at the end of my long term relationship and me and my partner decided to try a open relationship. I met this guy online. We spoke for quite awhile. He then picked me up from work the first  he did when i got in his car was put his hand around my throat and hand up my skirt ( pre discussed ofcourse) and we drove to some woods (in day light) and found a little hidden place. He stripped me off and edged me then pushed me to my knees and y'know 😜💦. We then got back in his car and he dropped me off home. I felt so alive and excited in that whole moment and afterwards and i just wanted more. We only met up once more after that. We were very causal but he did want to take me to some clubs and show me more of that life style. Just wrong time when we met. 

 

I got to where i am now by going through some really good and also fucked up things that happened to me. But now im in a great relationship with my partner, he is a switch and now ive tried switching its awesome . Love it when my dominant side comes out. The confidence it gives me is amazing but i prefer being a brat majority of the time. Mistress only makes a appearance every so often. 

 

 

Thank you for sharing and wow very very hot indeed!!!! It's great when someone/something gives us confidence and switching does it for you!! I tried it once but knew it wasn't for me. Lol I use to be 100% brat till I got with my Sir who I'm still with now, and that percentage has dropped dramatically 🤣 I can still be a brat at times but know when to stop 🤣😳 you should join us this Thursday at the weekly munch we have it's on the topic of brats!!! 

[li****]

Thank you to everyone that has shared so far I know our journeys are some times personal so I really do appreciate everyone that has commented and shared 😊💋

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, MossyBoy said:

@LilMissBrat I would love to have known you in the beginning so that I could watch in awe as you have grown.  YOU are someone special, with a great mind and attitude, and I am sure your current partner sees these same things in you.  Enjoy life dear girl.

Aww thank you @MossyBoy that is so nice and kind of you to say. My current partner treats me like a princess and he loves and adores me. He tells me each and every day how much i mean to him and how special i am 

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, lil-monster said:

Thank you for sharing and wow very very hot indeed!!!! It's great when someone/something gives us confidence and switching does it for you!! I tried it once but knew it wasn't for me. Lol I use to be 100% brat till I got with my Sir who I'm still with now, and that percentage has dropped dramatically 🤣 I can still be a brat at times but know when to stop 🤣😳 you should join us this Thursday at the weekly munch we have it's on the topic of brats!!! 

Hehe thanks 😈. And yeah it is a amazing feeling. Haha thats fair! Alot of the time im 100% brat but some times i give my dom a break.. For about 5 minutes 😂😂. Ive not reached the point in when i know when to stop... Always pushing ha. But when I'm being dominant. I have a zero tolerance for brats... No warnings... If he is bratty I will punish him and put him in his place. 

 

Yeah definitely up for the munch on Thursday, interesting topic! 

[li****]

4 hours ago, LilMissBrat said:

Hehe thanks 😈. And yeah it is a amazing feeling. Haha thats fair! Alot of the time im 100% brat but some times i give my dom a break.. For about 5 minutes 😂😂. Ive not reached the point in when i know when to stop... Always pushing ha. But when I'm being dominant. I have a zero tolerance for brats... No warnings... If he is bratty I will punish him and put him in his place. 

 

Yeah definitely up for the munch on Thursday, interesting topic! 

Yes my Sir doesn't take kindly to my brat ways lol 🤣🤣 the munch is this Thursday at 8pm and the topic is bratting out and all things bratty I hope you can join us 

[Deleted Member]

53 minutes ago, lil-monster said:

Yes my Sir doesn't take kindly to my brat ways lol 🤣🤣 the munch is this Thursday at 8pm and the topic is bratting out and all things bratty I hope you can join us 

Hahaha I love being a brat but being on the other side... I always tell my sub to try not out brat a brat... I know all the secrets and what buttons to push 🤣🤣. His only bratty on very few occasions and its mild but i think that's cause i put a stop to it straight away. 

 

Will definitely come to the online munch. Finish work at 8 but I'm working from home. So i can log straight on away, 'see you' then 😘

Edited August 25, 2020 by Deleted Member

[li****]

3 hours ago, LilMissBrat said:

Hahaha I love being a brat but being on the other side... I always tell my sub to try not out brat a brat... I know all the secrets and what buttons to push 🤣🤣. His only bratty on very few occasions and its mild but i think that's cause i put a stop to it straight away. 

 

Will definitely come to the online munch. Finish work at 8 but I'm working from home. So i can log straight on away, 'see you' then 😘

Lol the tricks of the trade of a brat!!!! Love it!!! 

 

Great I'll see you at the munch this Thursday 😘

[VoyagerX]

Haha.....can't blame him for trying!

Sounds like you've got a great thing going on......especially knowing your partner well as a friend before hand. Leaves more time for exploring your kinks!

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, VoyagerX said:

Haha.....can't blame him for trying!

Sounds like you've got a great thing going on......especially knowing your partner well as a friend before hand. Leaves more time for exploring your kinks!

Haha can't blame him for trying but he knows who boss 😜😈

 

Yeah exactly it is a great thing we have and gives more time for kink... When he isnt working all the time ha

[VoyagerX]

5 hours ago, LilMissBrat said:

Haha can't blame him for trying but he knows who boss 😜😈

 

Yeah exactly it is a great thing we have and gives more time for kink... When he isnt working all the time ha

 

[VoyagerX]

Sounds like you're partner's got alot on his hands......in more ways than one! 😄

[Deleted Member]

18 hours ago, VoyagerX said:

Sounds like you're partner's got alot on his hands......in more ways than one! 😄

Hahaha 100%, bless him 😂😂 he handles me well though 

[VoyagerX]

2 hours ago, LilMissBrat said:

Hahaha 100%, bless him 😂😂 he handles me well though 

 

[VoyagerX]

Lol!.....one can only imagine!!