Rules

[Koby]

Do you have pre-established rules before you commence a relationship?

Are Rules mixed in when a relationship has commenced?

Do you have separate rules for play and your overall relationship?

Does your rules have consequences or punishments attached?

[Deleted Member]

As everything is so different and as such the same with individuals I could only answer that yes, no, maybe and sometimes.

[Pl****]

I don't think there's going to be a consensus here. Some people probably do rules, but for me personally, none of my relationships thus far had any rules. Of course, they all started without any BDSM elements at the outset. That all evolved later, starting in the bedroom and occasionally going past it, but rules were never needed in my relationships anyway. In the bedroom, they've been either *** or enthusiastic. If I felt it was necessary for their benefit, maybe I'd do some rules, but I don't think I'm attracted to people that need them.

[ey****]

I mean, to a  degree every relationship has rules but most are unspoken - be it "don't fuck other people" (or "do, but only if I know about it") whose turn it is to do the dishes, contributing to household budgets or making a phone call if running late for work

-

With kink.

My wife and I are more non-mono than poly - so we both play with others, but ultimately with a right to veto (rarely used) but in play together we have our own boundaries 

But there's no real what you'd call "rules" 

-

Particularly over the past year or so, it's been more casual play which might be part of ongoing relationships rather than a structured relationship - i.e. subs or Dominants I've done something with that I may well do again - and so rules have been limited to our time together.  

But in most cases the rules are boundaries and so the consequences of pushing or breaking these is that we (probably) don't play together again.

-

When I had a Mistress, we had additional rules - which included that I put her first where appropriate, I wasn't allowed to take on a sub, I could film with, but not serve, others (and filming had to be with her knowledge) 

Obviously of course, the more I was doing for her the more she'd want to spend time with me and the opposite is true.

Oh and capital protocol, always.  And good morning/night texts.  I did miss a couple of good night texts, but there was no real punishment just an apology - I don't think I ever missed on capital protocol.  

I do remember, not long after we finished, she put something up about subs not doing capital protocol and how "there'd be punishments" and me in my kinda bitter state thought to myself, so you give attention to those who don't follow the rules, I see.  But that was me being bitter and unfair.