Proving you've submitted fully

[TJ2018]

My boyfriend (and dom) have been exploring Bdsm for a while now and have come to the mutual decision that I will submit completely to him. he wants me to prove that I have fully submitted to him but neither of us know how I can prove this. I ask his permission already for everything that I do, eating, drinking, bathroom breaks etc. but I can't think of how to prove im 100% submissive to him and only him. any advice/help would be very much appreciated 

[Deleted Member]

I can't think of a physical way right now, but collating is often seen a sign of full submission, wearing his collar at all times?

[Dreamaway]

Ask him what his darkest, deepest desire is and fulfil it for him. Sounds like you need to be a little adventurous and start thinking out of the box after all, your trying to leave the vanilla world behind so try and introduce something out of the ordinary.

[Deleted Member]

I don't think there is an actual physical way of proving your submission 100% of the time, that would involve being together 100% of the time so he could see it. You could keep a journal he could read of your actions and thoughts when apart, at work etc. Send him regular messages throughout the day at set times things like that but to actually prove? Am impossible ask I think

Edited August 23, 2020 by Deleted Member
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[Carnelian2]

I don't know if there is any physical thing you can do to show that. 

I am reluctant to say it, but should he not know that you are his and only his, just by the things that you do and how you do it?

Maybe have a chat with him and try to get him to explain, in a non confontational way, just say that you want to prove to him but you need to understand what doubts or concerns he has so that you can address them. Maybe he is not aware and need your support at a different level than pure D/s.

[Koby]

Instead of a physical act, perhaps it's your daily commitment to submit and your on-going desire to connect and find new ways to serve?

Perhaps it is also your desire to grow and develop, finding new ways within your growth  to be attuned to their needs.

Personally, I prefer devotion and commitment over specific symbolic gestures.

[Jaythesub]

I think you guys are thinking about an initiation of your decision to submit fully. It could be like a session where your tied up and he teases and denies you/ asks you to thank him after each hard smack on your ass

[blkWolf13]

It sounds to me like maybe if your looking for a physical display of your submission to prove your submission might I suggest a collaring Ceremony doesn’t have to be anything fancy and be as simple as the two of you declaring formally that you’ve chosen to do this path together . If you do have friends in the lifestyle might invite them to the ceremony. Declare to the world at large as it were . Maybe have a special session afterwards. If interested in anymore details feel free to contact me 

 

good luck with you journey may you have many happy days together 

[Th****]

On 8/23/2020 at 6:12 PM, TJ2018 said:

My boyfriend (and dom) have been exploring Bdsm for a while now and have come to the mutual decision that I will submit completely to him. he wants me to prove that I have fully submitted to him but neither of us know how I can prove this. I ask his permission already for everything that I do, eating, drinking, bathroom breaks etc. but I can't think of how to prove im 100% submissive to him and only him. any advice/help would be very much appreciated 

If I am speaking out of turn I offer my apologies in advance.

Now you are currently submitting all possible decisions to your Dominant in a pretty extreme way, which is fine. 

Now as you are submitting even the most minor decision to him may a suggest that you may wish to submit the decision of what this action that will "prove Your 100% submissive" is as well.

After all as a Dominant I normally end up making those decisions because asking my submissive to decide how to prove she is 100% submissive would be impossible the moment she decided it without asking permission.

You are as submissive as you are.

Good luck.

[Carnelian2]

10 hours ago, Thebian said:

After all as a Dominant I normally end up making those decisions because asking my submissive to decide how to prove she is 100% submissive would be impossible the moment she decided it without asking permission.

That is a paradox indeed!

Questions like that usually would make me think and could result in a very deep and meaningful conversation where both your Dom and yourself may discover aspects of your relationship that you were not aware of.

[TJ2018]

On 8/24/2020 at 10:02 PM, Thebian said:

If I am speaking out of turn I offer my apologies in advance.

Now you are currently submitting all possible decisions to your Dominant in a pretty extreme way, which is fine. 

Now as you are submitting even the most minor decision to him may a suggest that you may wish to submit the decision of what this action that will "prove Your 100% submissive" is as well.

After all as a Dominant I normally end up making those decisions because asking my submissive to decide how to prove she is 100% submissive would be impossible the moment she decided it without asking permission.

You are as submissive as you are.

Good luck.

The thing is that he has told me to think of something, so I have to think of something. He's said that wearing a collar all the time or even a collaring ceremony wouldn't be enough to prove it. And I'm at a complete loss for what I can do

[ey****]

he needs to stop adding this unnecessary pressure

this seems to be more about his insecurities than what you are/aren't doing 

[Wo****]

2 hours ago, TJ2018 said:

The thing is that he has told me to think of something, so I have to think of something. He's said that wearing a collar all the time or even a collaring ceremony wouldn't be enough to prove it. And I'm at a complete loss for what I can do

Why can't HE think of something?

You've suggested what you feel you can do to prove you've fully submitted to him. You've told him what proof YOU can give. It's not enough? Then he needs to tell you what would prove it to him.

My personal opinion is that as a Dom he shouldn't be asking you about something neither of you know about. He's in charge, he leads.

[Carnelian2]

To add to the other comments. Who is the Dominant party in the relationship. As I said before, try to discuss with him and work it out.
He reminds me of one of those clients at work that rejects all solution proposals but never actually says what they want as they probably don’t lnow

[ol****]

 TJ - Not your job, it's his job to propose this "proof".

Stay calm and if he does propose a "proof" make sure you go into it consensually. If it does not sound right then don't do it.

Edited August 27, 2020 by oldfellow

[liquidphantom]

As your Dom he should really be researching this, discussing it with you and deciding what he wants from you in terms of rules, guarantees and gestures. And like oldfellow says, make sure it's right for you as well.

Edited August 27, 2020 by liquidphantom

[Th****]

Alright TJ so you have been specifically instructed to come up with this by your Dominant.

So there would be no paradox.

Alright then I have your answer, it just is not exciting.

Anyone, well maybe not anyone, can ask permission for all those things and obey all those rules. The real test here is time.

If you are still doing this after whatever period you choose, that is a far tougher test than any one off test.

Time and patience is always the greatest test.

One last thing, I may be wrong but be ready to be braced to fail. Some thing feels not quite right here.

I wish you every luck and my respects to your Dominant

[Deleted Member]

For my 2 penith, (and as Thebian says, if I'm over stepping my boundaries I apologise in advance) 

It sounds to me like he is asking you to top from the bottom, your Dom probably doesn't know where to go at this junction of your dynamic. 

I imagine it is quite common with new Doms. But after all he is the Dom and should be leading. And as Thebian also says, time and commitment to your role in the dynamic will show how serious you are and how devoted you are to him. 

Discuss doing more research on both ends and then coming together to compare notes. That would be a good way to show your commitment and to get him thinking from a leadership point of view. 

Hope that helps. 😊

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Thebian said:

. Some thing feels not quite right here.
 

Agree totally, something does feel off

[Domrough]

He’s your master and should decide for you. If he’s new to the role he may not be aware of his obligations and responsibilities. If that’s the case you could respectfully suggest he visit this site for guidance.