All about the 24/7 fetish

[Foxter]

- Before we begin I would like to say I do write a lot of guides and tips on BDSM topics, mostly fetishes and scenarios people might not have had much experience in, but first time posting it here. If you enjoy it I'm happy to post more, maybe they'll let me write for the magazine? 😋 -

 

24/7 BDSM Relationship: 

Controlling every part of someone's life, in any way they like, at any time they want. For some it’s a fantasy, but others truly desire it. This is 24/7 kink. What it is, how to get into it and the problems that can occur.

 

What is it?:

A 24/7 bdsm relationship is rules and restrictions on a subs daily life, so the roles apply not only in the bedroom, but outside as well. Every relationship is different and has different levels on which the rules apply. Often in a 24/7 relationship there are a lot of non sexual rules as keeping up being sexual all the time is difficult. So the dom can control things like when the sub eats, sleeps, drinks, goes out, picking outfits, house cleaning and making their decisions for them. Popular roles included being a pet, a little, a maid or a bimbo. 

 

Types of relationships & picking a goal:

Firstly make sure everyone is clear on what the end goal is. What peak submission life will be like before you start. Is the goal to be incredibly harsh and strict with lots of rules? Is it full time daddy and little? To be kept like a pet? To make the submissive dumb and be a bimbo, or a maid to do the chores everyday day? You will most likely already know what you want as this will be the go to role for the sub during play or already fantasise about it. It’s also the little rules you will have to think about and plan out, can they go out, see friends, have entertainment. How much freedom do you plan on letting them have? Maybe if you are wanting to be a bimbo you would want to eventually cut out all news and entertainment and replace it with edging and porn watching. Of course that would only happen in a more extreme scenario, but you get the idea. Start thinking about what the end result is.

Keep in mind 24/7 isn’t just having sex whenever the dom feels like it. That would be more CNC play. This is more about restricting normal life and personality. So have a long hard think about how you want things to be like.

 

Starting rules:

Once you agree upon an end result. You have to start off slow. Really slow, even if it's a relationship you have been in for a long time, or even doing it online. Both the dom and submissive need to ease into new life. A lot of people don’t realise how hard it can be, even for the dom who has to keep in role and in charge the entire time. My first time I felt very exhausted after a week. But this probably because we didn’t take our time, we tried to jump to the end result and even I was forgetting the rules she had to do.

So a great place to start? You can start with having your submissive make you tea every morning and night, or for online play a perfect start is having your sub say good morning and night everyday. Something at the start and end of the day is a good start as, of course, it will be the first thing you do, but throughout the day you'll be thinking about what you need to do later. This will help you keep in the submissive mood and remind you of what life will be. You will notice an immediate effect on the relationship already having a rule like this in place. 

 

I then personally move onto making the submissive giving me daily midday updates of what they have done, what they are doing and what they plan to do for the rest of the day. Your partner will now be thinking of submission a lot more, they will be keeping track of what they are doing and making sure the report is on time. If this already sounds too much for you, then a 24/7 relationship may not be the best thing for you.

 

But if it is, then you can progress to picking their clothes for the day, having them start to ask permission for things like going to the bathroom, to eat, going out. All the basic day to day tasks can have some type of rule or restriction. But don’t add them all at once. Slowly build things up over a number of weeks. Also have a think about the rules you are putting in place, do they also match the theme of your end goal? If it’s to have a little, maybe making them do all the cooking and cleaning isn't exactly fitting. You can start to add sexual tasks if you want, edging, spanking, practice positions and fucking / blowjobs on a dildo. You can also do things like wearing a plug, chastity cage, wearing no underwear. These things you can do during the whole day, so even if your sub is having some down time, working or out with friends. You can still keep them submissive.

But maybe you are at the point where they know their place and they are following all the daily rules, what can you do next?

 

Advancing rules:

Once you have the basic rules and routines going and you're all happy, you can start advancing them. For example if you're a maid who is already cooking and cleaning, now you can do it naked, maybe wearing a maids outfit. Maybe you wait for the dom to finish before you eat yourself. Just little add-ons.

Maybe the goal is being a pet, you started picking their clothes but now removing some when they are home, eventually getting them naked, wearing a collar on weekends, on all the days, having a tail as well and so on.

The progression is small steps, and becoming comfortable with the new life. Going right in can and will become overwhelming. The rules are also fairly simple. Try and avoid making things complicated or rules that link to other rules. Like you can only watch 10 hours of TV a week, so you gotta keep track and every hour you watch you edge and there’s another rule that says if you edge you say thank you and spank yourself and every 5 spanks you gotta do a push up and….. its too much.

If you both do want something like that and involve time based rules. You may wish to use something like Google spreadsheets, it’s an online spreadsheet that multiple people can use at once. You can have the submissive fill it out when they do things and then the dom can check and view the times it’s edited. But my advise is stay away from that type of thing. It can become very managing and can take the fun out of things quickly. 

 

The problems with 24/7:

Unfortunately if any kink was going to damage a relationship, it would definitely be 24/7. I very much enjoy it, I would do it again, however I have had it end badly before. If you are going for a more strict dom and sub, maid or bimbo type relationship, you will find it very hard to balance that with being in a loving and caring relationship as well. For pet play and DDLG it's a lot easier as that revolves around a lot of care. But it can also be scary for one another to say something and open up about issues because neither of you particularly want to break play. And of course fantasy and reality are too very different things, it may seem hot at the time to be that submissive but that's probably because you are horny. But what about the times when you are tired, upset, ill? How are you going to react to it then? You may think taking a break is a good idea, however, trying to return to a full 24/7 relationship is rather challenging and often more damaging. If you've needed to stop play, it's because there is a problem and taking a break and returning to how it was will not fix anything. If you think things are becoming too much for either of you (and a dom should know when things are getting too much for their sub) but you want to continue just ease down the rules or you can shake things up a bit and replace rules and even roles to keep things fresh.

 

Thanks for reading, I hope this helps out anyone who was curious about it. Please if you have any questions regarding this or any other BDSM related topics you can always message.

[Fluffness]

This is incredibly helpful. I have a couple of LDR with subs and wasn't sure how to go about it.
I would love to read your ideas on scenarios

[Cade]

Not a bad writing! But respectfully, I believe you're confusing a type of relationship with a time frame. Example:

6 hours ago, Foxter said:

What is it?:

A 24/7 bdsm relationship is rules and restrictions on a subs daily life, so the roles apply not only in the bedroom, but outside as well. Every relationship is different and has different levels on which the rules apply. Often in a 24/7 relationship there are a lot of non sexual rules as keeping up being sexual all the time is difficult. So the dom can control things like when the sub eats, sleeps, drinks, goes out, picking outfits, house cleaning and making their decisions for them. Popular roles included being a pet, a little, a maid or a bimbo. 

What you describe here would be more considered a total power exchange/total authority transfer (TPE/TAT) or owner/property (master-mistress/slave) dynamics. I will agree that 24/7 often accompanies these labels, but more to explain how often the participants are in their respective roles and less to do with the modality of that dynamic. For all intent and purpose, the use of 24/7 in the BDSM world more indicates that one lives their desired dynamic (whatever it may be) as a lifestyle - the style by which they live their life which might well include any dynamic, not just TPE/TAT. A "24/7 relationship" would just basically say a relationship style (whatever it may be) is a big part of those individuals' lifestyle.

Why is this important? As you noted: Every relationship is different. There are dynamics that might well include no power exchange/no authority transfer AND still be 24/7. For instance, a s/m relationship may have no aspects of control, if neither partner is dominant nor submissive, but can still be 24/7. Just because the lifestyle doesn't have elements of one person exercising control over another doesn't make it less 24/7; as noted, the time frame of the dynamic doesn't dictate the type of dynamic.