Men like you

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Steve78 said:

You so do deserve better and you certainly don’t owe anything to anyone. Your a truly articulate, creative and gorgeous lady and should never be subjected to such demeaning comments. Not many member on this site can provoke such conversation. I’ve not seen many messages that get over 1000 views and so many reply’s. So note my sweet that the decent people on here love your comments and stand totally with you on this xx

😳 erm thank you very much. I am thankful for a site that enables this kind of discussion and community. It’s made quite a difference to me.

[ol****]

I'll start with an appology. I may, over the years, in other places, have made the sort of comment that @Curvykate mentions. It's hard not too when you are responding to a personal ad that blantently asks for some sort of sexual act. However as I've grown up and got older I've realised it's not a good way to start a conversation and it has a tiny success rate despite the way the ad is worded. So if I have ever offended a member here I am sorry.

I hope that nowadays I'm much more respectful in my approaches and fully accepting of rejection, even when that rejection is in the form of a no reply and block.

Now I'm even polite to all those who catfish on this site as politeness costs nothing.

 

Domineering v dominant  as mentioned by @Thebian- sums it up perfectly.

@Curvykate - great opening piece, very insighful and should be pinned in the advice to new kninksters IMHO.

Edited September 6, 2020 by oldfellow

[Wo****]

3 hours ago, oldfellow said:

I'll start with an appology. I may, over the years, in other places, have made the sort of comment that @Curvykate mentions. It's hard not too when you are responding to a personal ad that blantently asks for some sort of sexual act. However as I've grown up and got older I've realised it's not a good way to start a conversation and it has a tiny success rate despite the way the ad is worded. So if I have ever offended a member here I am sorry.

I hope that nowadays I'm much more respectful in my approaches and fully accepting of rejection, even when that rejection is in the form of a no reply and block.

Now I'm even polite to all those who catfish on this site as politeness costs nothing.

 

Domineering v dominant  as mentioned by @Thebian- sums it up perfectly.

@Curvykate - great opening piece, very insighful and should be pinned in the advice to new kninksters IMHO.

Having had the delight of chatting to you in private I can vouch that this thread doesn't apply to men like you. You have been, and are, respectful, engaging, articulate and funny.

The very fact that your opening line was an apology in case you'd offended anyone shows you are a true gent x

[Deleted Member]

[Deleted Member]

*care about these issues

[Th****]

I totally agree with everything said thus far.

I was just rereading the whole thread and something occurred to me that had yet to be raised. I am sure a great many of you are aware of it already.

There are always a certain % and I am afraid it is normally men anywhere, Who do not either grasp what we in the community mean by consensual control or quite frankly do not care.

You can spot them early on, they are writing in such a way as to get a rise, they want to insult, hurt, cause a visceral reaction that you cannot control. 

If you want to get back at these, never message back. 

Seeing that they have upset you or hurt you is their oxygen. They gain control by making you lose yours.

Please do not misunderstand me. I know how horribly hurtful and insulting they can get. If you are tempted to reply picture them smiling as they read it. 

Then report, delete and block the toxic little ferrets.

I apologise on behalf of my gender.

[Deleted Member]

[Deleted Member]

Sunday at 07:58 PM, Thebian said:

I totally agree with everything said thus far.

I was just rereading the whole thread and something occurred to me that had yet to be raised. I am sure a great many of you are aware of it already.

There are always a certain % and I am afraid it is normally men anywhere, Who do not either grasp what we in the community mean by consensual control or quite frankly do not care.

You can spot them early on, they are writing in such a way as to get a rise, they want to insult, hurt, cause a visceral reaction that you cannot control. 

If you want to get back at these, never message back. 

Seeing that they have upset you or hurt you is their oxygen. They gain control by making you lose yours.

Please do not misunderstand me. I know how horribly hurtful and insulting they can get. If you are tempted to reply picture them smiling as they read it. 

Then report, delete and block the toxic little ferrets.

I apologise on behalf of my gender.

It certainly can be hard to spot those who could maybe change their approach and learn. Or those who just are behaving as you describe. I have managed to get through to a few. The more I read, the more I understand about misogyny - the easier it gets to spot the difference. I’ve been thinking about this all week. But of course we do notice people behaving badly more than the ones who don’t. Lots of men message politely. Lots of men take rejection with grace. Lots of men are thoughtful and understanding about the issues. 😁

[Mo****]

To all the submissives out there, if ever I have offended because of bad manners and inappropriate messages, then I do sincerely apolgise.  I would like to think that I haven't, but truly, I can't be sure because of the way some people take things, so here is an apology.  I know that I have upset a few members of this lifestyle because of my opinions being in a different vein to others, but they are my opinions, they are not statements against another in a poor manner attitude.  There really isn't much I can do about that, but I have tried to play the point, NOT the person because that would be totally disrespectful.

 

So hopefully there will not be anyone to come out of the woodwork and rub my nose in it.

I have always tried to be respectful to others, used manners, and definitely NOT demanded anything of others.  I am dominant and even with other dominants, I try not to get into a ***ing contest, but would rather find common ground.  With submissives, I don't own you (unless you have given me that privilege) but I do share a common interest in this lifestyle with you, and would rather make friends than enemies.