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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Laurah said:

To be completely honest, if I may wade in..

Discussions like this, while important. And enlightening for those who dont subscribe to the life style..

I think it's best for conversations about boundaries and "how much attention will I be getting out of this?" to be done in private. 

As opposed to passive aggressive vague forum posts or profile statuses. 

You're right.... let's just be aggressive 🔥😈🔥 wrestling????

Edited by Deleted Member
Suggested acts of aggression
Posted
7 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

 wrestling????

Now I'm interested 😊

Posted
Just now, Donnykinkster said:

Now I'm interested 😊

Now I'm cackling 🔥🔥🔥

Posted
43 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

This is bollocks Metal.... love.... in a deeper more philosophical level yes.... in a jaded by vanilla construct way....absolutely not!!!!

Many many people practice BDSM outside of the heteronormative patriarchal structures of society.  

Love has so many layers of complication and whilst I care about,  nurture, attend to and encourage my subs I will never say I love them because I don't want either of us confused about what the fuck that it. 

I don't offer a girlfriend experience,  I won't cook your tea or clean or wipe your brow when poorly because I can't and won't. 

I think a real deeper more sophisticated approach is needed here. 

This isn't girl meets boys and the all live kinkily ever after. 

🔥🔥🔥

never dare to dream fire, all of us need to feel loved. Even you.

Posted
1 minute ago, METALSIR said:

never dare to dream fire, all of us need to feel loved. Even you.

☝️☝️

Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

never dare to dream fire, all of us need to feel loved. Even you.

 

8 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

☝️☝️

You can both fuck off!!! 

I provide for me,  I look after me due to the persistent failings of men in my life.  Does that make me bitter? Or scared? Or does it mean that I'm not prepared to compromise? I will not accept anything that isn't good for me.  Notions of love blind that for me and I'm very aware of it.  I chose to protect myself and my energy and *** and children from hopeless men.  And I'm not ashamed to say it and do it.  I will not compromise and calling love in the name of kink inhibits what I want to do to my submissives and partners.  So don't get me wrong if you think you see a coldness or steely bollockness it is because I will not compromise. 

🔥🔥🔥

Edited by Deleted Member
Thought a little bit after swearing
Posted
12 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

 will not compromise. 

 

For the right person we all would compromise.

Posted
2 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

For the right person we all would compromise.

But Fire isn’t looking for what you’re looking for, Donny.

Posted
Just now, Curvykate said:

But Fire isn’t looking for what you’re looking for, Donny.

Maybe, maybe not 😊. In a bdsm sense no she is not, but we are all more than what is seen on here, much more

Posted

indeed Donny, everybody needs "love", however you describe the word "love".

 

Posted
2 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

indeed Donny, everybody needs "love", however you describe the word "love".

 

Of course they do,  mine just isn't as a Domme 🔥🔥🔥

Posted
54 minutes ago, Laurah said:

To be completely honest, if I may wade in..

Discussions like this, while important. And enlightening for those who dont subscribe to the life style..

I think it's best for conversations about boundaries and "how much attention will I be getting out of this?" to be done in private. 

As opposed to passive aggressive vague forum posts or profile statuses. 

 

54 minutes ago, Laurah said:

To be completely honest, if I may wade in..

Discussions like this, while important. And enlightening for those who dont subscribe to the life style..

I think it's best for conversations about boundaries and "how much attention will I be getting out of this?" to be done in private. 

As opposed to passive aggressive vague forum posts or profile statuses. 

 

isnt this comment also a passive aggressive stance Laurah?

Posted

Assuming throughout this post that honest discussion about desires, wants, needs and availability of emotional connection, depth and integrity are all withheld. Yes there are a lot of narcissists in BDSM, on BOTH sides of the slash. There are Collectors of subs but also those that wish to be collected. There are players, and those that liked to be played with. The difficulty is if you are not Honest with yourself about what you are willing, happy and able to experience or provide or do, how can you expect it not to fall apart.  Perhaps it is better to focus less on forging a relationship on compromise and more on finding the person that doesn't ask you to, the one (or more) whom accepts your foibles and through Honesty, Integrity, Compassion and Trust, one that is able to sufficiently help you grow. Dominants are not kink dispensers and neither are subs. They are people with human emotions and life experiences that alter their perception and engagement in the world, the scene and relationships. having a bit more respect towards the role or position the other person has could go a long way... Having a lot more respect for what has been negotiated and mutually agreed to, then sticking to it and not pushing for more would be another good step. if i havnt said it enough. HONESTY, INTEGRITY, COMPASSION and TRUST

Posted
32 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

 

You can both fuck off!!! 

I provide for me,  I look after me due to the persistent failings of men in my life.  Does that make me bitter? Or scared? Or does it mean that I'm not prepared to compromise? I will not accept anything that isn't good for me.  Notions of love blind that for me and I'm very aware of it.  I chose to protect myself and my energy and *** and children from hopeless men.  And I'm not ashamed to say it and do it.  I will not compromise and calling love in the name of kink inhibits what I want to do to my submissives and partners.  So don't get me wrong if you think you see a coldness or steely bollockness it is because I will not compromise. 

🔥🔥🔥

Fair enough fire, It seems that you have learnt your own definition of "love" and it didn't apoeal to you. You are an individual and a smart one at that.

Ive been burnt good and proper by "love" in the past but it is such a special feeling that i will never ever be scared to feel it again, nor will i ever run and hide from it.

 

Posted
5 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

Of course they do,  mine just isn't as a Domme 🔥🔥🔥

Yet you are more than just a "Domme" you are a person too, a human being who feels. 

Posted
46 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

For the right person we all would compromise.

there's different lines and - well - for the right person you wouldn't *need* to compromise, because they're the right person.

 

Posted
1 hour ago, Firewitch said:

What if the Dominant wants an army??

You're right it isn't polyamory, its ethical non monogamy, poly is broadly used in BDSM to denote many. 

Why is greed bad,  if all are informed?

there's stuff I've thought about over the years about the structure of Dominants with multiple submissives.

I know these are structures that don't fit everyone (for me, I can be one of many - but this if we think about a sports team, everyone might be equal - or there might be star players, regular starters, fringe players and bench warmers.....  I don't need to be a star player, but I'm worth more than being a bench warmer or someone who gets the odd run out for pitch time)
About playing your part in the team game, but also having expectations managed fairly. 

Posted
4 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's different lines and - well - for the right person you wouldn't *need* to compromise, because they're the right person.

 

This 💋🔥💋 although just one??? 😬

Posted
1 minute ago, Firewitch said:

This 💋🔥💋 although just one??? 😬

well, no :) 

Posted
8 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's different lines and - well - for the right person you wouldn't *need* to compromise, because they're the right person.

 

Even with the right person there will be work to do, compromises to be made. Sadly nothing is perfect.

Posted

I just realised that I am completely off topic!

Apologies, I have been commenting about a different forum post here!!!!

duuuuuhhhhhhhh....

Posted

yup, just checked the OP again and i am deffo off topic😂

Posted
4 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

Even with the right person there will be work to do, compromises to be made. Sadly nothing is perfect.

I have to say that I agree with Donny. I am not an idealist. I believe in love, but no relationship is perfect.

Posted

The topic for me is over I am looking forword and moving on 

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