Clear as glass

[Ch****]

Im a switch . Was with a switch for 15 years and a dom for 2. If they didnt stick to my boundaries and listen when i safe worderd it could of meant a trip to a and e or the er for you americans. Im lucky they stopped . Although my x master could read my movements an noises id make or by the colour of my face and tell me that play time was cancled or wed do other things 

[Carnelian2]

13 hours ago, Firewitch said:

 

I will not accept anything that isn't good for me.  Notions of love blind that for me and I'm very aware of it.  I chose to protect myself and my energy and *** and children from hopeless men.  And I'm not ashamed to say it and do it.  I will not compromise and calling love in the name of kink inhibits what I want to do to my submissives and partners. 

🔥🔥🔥

I totally accept that. When I read your first response on the topic where you said you would not make coffee, fair enough, and that is just something that would need to be agreed up front. Every relationship consists of two people and need to cater for both; regardless of role played. We all have our baggage in terms of good and bad experiences. It is important to consider that; both for ourselves and, importantly, others.

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's stuff I've thought about over the years about the structure of Dominants with multiple submissives.

I know these are structures that don't fit everyone (for me, I can be one of many - but this if we think about a sports team, everyone might be equal - or there might be star players, regular starters, fringe players and bench warmers.....  I don't need to be a star player, but I'm worth more than being a bench warmer or someone who gets the odd run out for pitch time)
About playing your part in the team game, but also having expectations managed fairly. 

I absolutely love this,  thank you 🔥🔥🔥

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Carnelian2 said:

I totally accept that. When I read your first response on the topic where you said you would not make coffee, fair enough, and that is just something that would need to be agreed up front. Every relationship consists of two people and need to cater for both; regardless of role played. We all have our baggage in terms of good and bad experiences. It is important to consider that; both for ourselves and, importantly, others.

Thank you and I agree and place high importance on it, ultimately I'm responsible for me and they them and one can only function as oneself (hopefully in full light and awareness) 🔥🔥🔥

[ey****]

26 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

I absolutely love this,  thank you 🔥🔥🔥

Some of this was also me musing my own aspirations and worth  

[TeeJay_98]

On 9/20/2020 at 7:52 AM, Rave92 said:

I know i am a sub but hate controlling narcissist behavior.
The way some what to have more then one to contol and act like there not bothered about you are your feeling .

For me this is a sigh that a dom/domme is not very good and its all this a egotistical boost with no substance.
Or long-term benefits.
Just a lonely loud gong.

Well this has kicked up a massive shitstorm - And for what reason? 

 

I will never understand what gives people the right to impose and slag of other peoples dynamics / relationships or whatever else you decide to call it.

 

As long as all involved are informed of what the boundaries are and everyone knows what the craic is, what is the need to slate everything those people have? 

 

I couldn't do Poly myself, but thats MY choice. Not because it's wrong, not because Poly D types are bad D types. But because its not what I want. I disagree completely that Poly individuals just want their egos boosted. Tbh I've never heard a more stupid and uneducated opinion. 

 

I do believe that if Poly is what you are looking for, you should try and educate yourself more on what it will entail, rather than assume the worst things without having any facts to back it up. 

 

Tbh I think this post was intended to cause an argument, I believe its been purposely but indirectly aimed. Very maliciously done - totally wrong IMO. 

 

Unless you have been in one of these dynamics and have been treated the way you describe above, I would be keen to know where these comments and lack of information have come from because as far as I know, from having had conversations with numerous Poly D types and s types, all of what you say above is total bollocks ☺ 

 

Like I say to most I speak to, just because it isn't your right, doesn't mean its wrong. 

Edited September 22, 2020 by TJ_Pup
Missed abit 😂

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, TJ_Pup said:

Well this has kicked up a massive shitstorm - And for what reason? 

 

I will never understand what gives people the right to impose and slag of other peoples dynamics / relationships or whatever else you decide to call it.

 

As long as all involved are informed of what the boundaries are and everyone knows what the craic is, what is the need to slate everything those people have? 

 

I couldn't do Poly myself, but thats MY choice. Not because it's wrong, not because Poly D types are bad D types. But because its not what I want. I disagree completely that Poly individuals just want their egos boosted. Tbh I've never heard a more stupid and uneducated opinion. 

 

I do believe that if Poly is what you are looking for, you should try and educate yourself more on what it will entail, rather than assume the worst things without having any facts to back it up. 

 

Tbh I think this post was intended to cause an argument, I believe its been purposely but indirectly aimed. Very maliciously done - totally wrong IMO. 

 

Unless you have been in one of these dynamics and have been treated the way you describe above, I would be keen to know where these comments and lack of information have come from because as far as I know, from having had conversations with numerous Poly D types and s types, all of what you say above is total bollocks ☺ 

 

Like I say to most I speak to, just because it isn't your right, doesn't mean its wrong. 

Well said!! 

[uk****]

23 minutes ago, TJ_Pup said:

Well this has kicked up a massive shitstorm - And for what reason? 

 

I will never understand what gives people the right to impose and slag of other peoples dynamics / relationships or whatever else you decide to call it.

 

As long as all involved are informed of what the boundaries are and everyone knows what the craic is, what is the need to slate everything those people have? 

 

I couldn't do Poly myself, but thats MY choice. Not because it's wrong, not because Poly D types are bad D types. But because its not what I want. I disagree completely that Poly individuals just want their egos boosted. Tbh I've never heard a more stupid and uneducated opinion. 

 

I do believe that if Poly is what you are looking for, you should try and educate yourself more on what it will entail, rather than assume the worst things without having any facts to back it up. 

 

Tbh I think this post was intended to cause an argument, I believe its been purposely but indirectly aimed. Very maliciously done - totally wrong IMO. 

 

Unless you have been in one of these dynamics and have been treated the way you describe above, I would be keen to know where these comments and lack of information have come from because as far as I know, from having had conversations with numerous Poly D types and s types, all of what you say above is total bollocks ☺ 

 

Like I say to most I speak to, just because it isn't your right, doesn't mean its wrong. 

Completely 100% agree with this. Rarely for me I can't think of anything to add.

[VoyagerX]

On 9/20/2020 at 7:52 AM, Rave92 said:

I know i am a sub but hate controlling narcissist behavior.
The way some what to have more then one to contol and act like there not bothered about you are your feeling .

For me this is a sigh that a dom/domme is not very good and its all this a egotistical boost with no substance.
Or long-term benefits.
Just a lonely loud gong.

Oh dear. You're obviously feeling hurt and lashing out. Narcissists do not give because they're already too wrapped up in themselves. And it appears you have already been given so much by Firewitch.... which blows your theory out of the water. But I suspect you already know that.

Sometimes people have make decisions based on their availability and ability to give fully. There is after all only so much of one person to go round.

Yes it hurts when you are on the receiving end but sometimes it's better to think before you speak.

I've got to know Firewitch very well... and not a single word you've said about her is true.

Firewitch is an amazing woman. ...and gives just as much, or even more, than she receives.

I'm sure no one likes to think of you being in emotional ***... but perhaps it's time I'm to reflect on all that you have been given.... and be thankful for it.

 

[Th****]

On 9/21/2020 at 8:08 PM, little_red_92 said:

Assuming throughout this post that honest discussion about desires, wants, needs and availability of emotional connection, depth and integrity are all withheld. Yes there are a lot of narcissists in BDSM, on BOTH sides of the slash. There are Collectors of subs but also those that wish to be collected. There are players, and those that liked to be played with. The difficulty is if you are not Honest with yourself about what you are willing, happy and able to experience or provide or do, how can you expect it not to fall apart.  Perhaps it is better to focus less on forging a relationship on compromise and more on finding the person that doesn't ask you to, the one (or more) whom accepts your foibles and through Honesty, Integrity, Compassion and Trust, one that is able to sufficiently help you grow. Dominants are not kink dispensers and neither are subs. They are people with human emotions and life experiences that alter their perception and engagement in the world, the scene and relationships. having a bit more respect towards the role or position the other person has could go a long way... Having a lot more respect for what has been negotiated and mutually agreed to, then sticking to it and not pushing for more would be another good step. if i havnt said it enough. HONESTY, INTEGRITY, COMPASSION and TRUST

Thank you red, that so hit the nail on the head. 

 

[Deleted Member]

On 9/23/2020 at 11:16 AM, VoyagerX said:

 

Edited September 25, 2020 by Deleted Member