The danger of love.

[Deleted Member]

Vanilla Love

 

Individual perception and translation of what love actually is as always plays a part. What I may perceive it to be could be very different from your opinion of this most powerful of emotions. 

 

The most amazing and scary of emotions, a feeling that has the raw power to bring the strongest to their knees. An emotion capable of causing the best and worst of human nature and something never to be taken lightly, but is it actually real or as a friend pointed out a vanilla construct? 

 

There was a singer called Haddaway, he did a track that I used to love dancing(badly) to called "what is love" and the first chorus went.

"What is love"

"Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me"

"No more"

 

And those few lines encapsulate for me exactly what my perception of love is. It's a huge risk, it's opening up your soul and letting another have massive influence over your heart. It's placing your heart directly in their hands, to be handled gently with affection or crushed, spitefully.

 

So is it real?  Yes without a doubt it's real. It's not something you can hold, something you can really explain or show to prove its existence. It's not a chemical reaction within your body although endorphins etc of course play a part in the initial connection, that buzz you feel when you meet someone whom you click with. The feeling deep in the pit of your gut.

 

Love is a joining of souls, an instinct that you just feel, through everything you are. There are no doubts when it appears, it's quite unlike anything else and unmistakable. I have been lucky, I've felt it's warm embrace a few times in my 52 years but I've also been unlucky as I've felt the soul destroying ramifications when it changes from love to something else. 

 

Life can throw many challenges our way and I have always been able to meet all these challenges strongly with my head held high but not lost love. Lost love has brought me to my knees a couple of times, changed the core of the man I am and caused me to over time choose different directions and paths. I was celibate and single for 7 years through choice so as to avoid any chance of the dreaded broken heart and to give myself breathing space while I worked out which path to choose.

 

Broken love has caused me, a monogamous man to be now considering ethical non mono as a new direction. Broken love has caused me to even consider celibacy and the single life for the rest of my days. Broken love, lies and deceit can indeed crush a person to a point where the abyss becomes a very real option. Yes love is dangerous and love can cause huge ***, it's never to be treated lightly. To allow yourself to believe is a risk yes but with the right person you just know, sometimes within moments of meeting. 

 

Yet what do we do? Nothing is without risk, to step out of your front door carries risk, to drive your car carries risk so all of life involves risk. Do we hide from the possibility of love, do we build a wall around ourselves to protect our fragile emotions? Yes to some extent we do, I have but to be fair that ability to protect myself has come with experience, *** and age. I no longer trust the way I used to, I no longer believe words, actions only now for me prove the truth of what I see. 

 

I no longer trust my heart, it lies and can fool the wisest amongst us.

I no longer trust the mind, it can be too clinical and at times does not allow for human emotion and all the different variables, so what do i trust?

 

The gut, instinct if you like. I trust only that now as our instinct which can still be proved to be wrong, in my experience very rarely lets us down. The gut for me is right more times than it's wrong. In hindsight I wish I had trusted my gut more in the past rather than the heart as that over time would have saved much ***,  but as I've said the ability to see the real truth is so much easier with age.

 

Love is dangerous as it opens up weakness, vulnerability to another but it can be amazing. It can be everything and it can completely change the way we live our lives, the person we are. It can be many things but yes, again, it's always a risk.

 

To close yourself off to the possibility of love is to deny your humanity. Not one of us knows what tomorrow brings so for me yes caution always.  Yet who knows, maybe I will meet her tomorrow and maybe not, but my eyes still search and I'm always ready. To say "I'm never going to love again" is unrealistic as if it comes knocking there will be no choice in the matter, it cannot be denied, its power is that strong even knowing full well the risk it carries.

 

Edited September 22, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

Donny 💋🔥💋,

Beautiful, romantic, true, insightful and a writing so full of vulnerability and hope...

Love underpins all I do, every minute of every day, in my words, my actions, my intention, I wish no ill on anyone (except for a few but don't wanna spoil the moment).

Notions of free love, abundant love, healthy love are coming more clearly to me on a daily basis surrounded by the most wonderful people i could hope for.

I'm learning what this looks like, learning how to manage what isn't for me and what is...

Its not a simple thing, its bound up in people who raised us, taught us their versions of love... those of which often filled with ***.... previous loves which turned into ***....

My position is that your love pot is in you, connected to deeper more earthly spiritual things and the closer you get to them the more you have in your pot, the more in your pot the more there is to share.

💋🔥❤🔥💋

[Me****]

Hey donny, i always thought the lyrics were-

"one inch knob......baby don't hurt me"!

but then, i work with hammers and angle grinders all day and am a little deaf!

[uk****]

Tremendous words, obviously written from the heart.

Love is like oxygen - we need it to survive but if you go too deep with too much it'll kill you quicker than any poison.

 

 

[0L****]

Amazing amazing amazing!!!!!!!! 

 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, ukmarky said:

 

Love is like oxygen - we need it to survive but if you go too deep with too much it'll kill you quicker than any poison.

 

 

Couldn't agree more but I think that's where "love is blind" comes into play.

[Me****]

I was gonna do something like this but I would not have done as good a job as this.
Once again Donny, you really do THINK before you engage dont you?
Very insightful and once again Laconic.

[Deleted Member]

I am of a similar age, Donny and I was quite taken by your belief in instinct over heart or head. That is a great deal easier as one gets older. I’ve come to believe I have never loved, so I hope my instincts stand me in good stead. A very fine piece of writing. 👏🏻

[Deleted Member]

Beautiful @Donnykinkster

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, Curvykate said:

I am of a similar age, Donny and I was quite taken by your belief in instinct over heart or head. That is a great deal easier as one gets older. I’ve come to believe I have never loved, so I hope my instincts stand me in good stead. A very fine piece of writing. 👏🏻

We seem to learn as we age Kate or so I'm finding. Thank you 😊😊

[Deleted Member]

9 hours ago, LilMissBrat said:

Beautiful @Donnykinkster

Thank you 😊😊

[Leisa]

Love is not something that many experience until they become older and wiser. Unfortunately many equate the lust of youth with love. I think that’s why the divorce rates are so high, at least here in the US. Beautiful Donny.

[foreducatio]

4 hours ago, Leisa said:

Love is not something that many experience until they become older and wiser. Unfortunately many equate the lust of youth with love. I think that’s why the divorce rates are so high, at least here in the US. Beautiful Donny.

Thanks for putting my thoughts into words Donny. "Lost love has brought me to my knees a couple of times, changed the core of the man I am and caused me to over time choose different directions and paths."

The bad part is that I agree with Leisa that most people experience love when they are older and wiser. Unfortunately, I did at a younger age. I think I wouldn't mind being a part of the masses and waiting.