Deleted Member Posted September 23, 2020 Posted September 23, 2020 I have (like pretty much everyone) have gone through some pretty bad times in my life and although right now life for me is pretty good I also know that I will have more bad times before I'm done. (perpetual happiness is not possible. Sorry to burst that bubble but hey. 🤷♂️😅) Over the years I have been 'let down' or 'betrayed' by many many people. Close friends, associates, the government, etc. We all have at some point. But in recent months I have come to realise, Sometimes we expect too much from the people around us. It's not my friends, associates etc who have let me down. It's my expectations that have been let down. And my standards are high in many regards, and why shouldn't they be. They are my standards and expectations after all. (be kind to yourself and all that. 😁) And its when our own expectations are not met that's we are hurt the most. So, how do we mitigate that ***, frustration and confusion? My personal code of conduct in this area is fairly simple. 1. Don't expect people around you to live up to your expectations. They are yours not theirs. It doesn't mean that you lower your standards. You should never do that. Standards stop you making bad decisions. 2. Try not to dream of how it will be in the future. Live in the now. Enjoy now. Those rose tinted day dreams - as lovely as they are to entertain - will heighten and expand your expectations and ultimately people won't be able to live up to them and subsequently let you down. It's easy to set yourself up for a fall. 3. Enter your dynamic (whatever form that may take, friendship, romantic, work, whatever) with open eyes, open heart and open communication (do you notice the pattern there? Lol) What are your thoughts?
Deleted Member Posted September 24, 2020 Author Posted September 24, 2020 Amberty 😘😘 You are so incredibly eloquent and insightful. You teach me so much about resilience and how to work through the bollocks not to mention all your other skills!! 💋🔥💋
ey**** Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 A very important lesson is not to rely on others for your happiness. The reason being that nobody can reliably do this so this leads to feelings of being let down which can also make things worse. Obviously, of course, standards are important. I do think expectations have to be realistic, sometimes, or to be happy if they're not met. Men tend to be a little worse than this than women ("I just want a sub who will do everything I say from day 1" // "I want a Dominant who'll do all my fantasies and fetishes, '***' me to do the thing I want to do and always look like the Goddess of my dreams... oh... and she'll do this for free cos she loves it") and that ties in with my first point also to be able to be content without the thing you seek.
Deleted Member Posted September 24, 2020 Author Posted September 24, 2020 24 minutes ago, Firewitch said: Amberty 😘😘 You are so incredibly eloquent and insightful. You teach me so much about resilience and how to work through the bollocks not to mention all your other skills!!💋🔥💋 Aww. Thank you Fire, I can only speak from perspective and experiences. it is always nice to hear the opinions of others.
Me**** Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 I don't need to say anything Bert, you've put it beautifully!
Koby Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 Well Put - No expectations, No guarantees. I always believe that no one owes you anything- Love, Time, Respect ( to some degree) or commitment
Bo**** Posted September 24, 2020 Posted September 24, 2020 Clarity,wisdom,understanding..... Thank you🙏
kevinlad Posted September 25, 2020 Posted September 25, 2020 clear your mind and focus on yourself, as for who you are and what you want in life, take my example , at my age i bigger sex drive now than i was with? like you i have walk that path, now i have wings and i am open to fulfill my desire and fantasies, So ask you inner self?
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