I may not be truly a switch

[Deleted Member]

Looking deeper and clearer into my interests and desires, I found out that I may not be really a full switch, aka half-dom half-sub, but more of a dominant with minor submissive desires.

I need to always have control, since I'm quite a control freak regarding my person and life. I have a phobia of losing control, and being dependent or controlled by something beyond myself. The dominant role feels satisfying to me, since I can direct everything in my own image, and have the ultimate control over what happens. Though on the other hand, I like the idea of worshipping and serving a woman, with her telling me how to satisfy her. But that's just about me doing actions to please her body. I'd never submit completely to anyone, due to my inability to surrender control. My submission is purely sexual, and nothing is actually done to me. It's just the domme being worshipped and pampered as she likes. And I feel like I'd still hold few "strings" over her.

Curious about your thoughts.

[Carnelian2]

I think it is about balance. I have been told I am Dominant, maybe I am. It really depends on the situation and the person I am with. For me, there is no clear this or that. I have been happy submitting to some amazing women and Dominating other, equally amazing women. It is what make us whole in that situation which matters, at least to me.

[LazyPirate]

Switch doesn’t necessarily mean 50/50 Dom/sub, I class myself as a Dom leaning switch because I’m naturally more dominant than submissive. This doesn’t mean I’m any less of a switch however.

[Koby]

I think its brilliant that you have taken the time  to  self-reflect.

Naturally, our Kink composition will be unique as we all have individual Needs and Desires. No two switches are the same. We all experience BDSM differently with unique perceptions.

The more I experience BDSM, The more I want to ensure I want to have authentic experiences.

Do what makes you happy and satisfied. 

[Deleted Member]

On 9/26/2020 at 1:50 PM, Koby said:

I think its brilliant that you have taken the time  to  self-reflect.

Naturally, our Kink composition will be unique as we all have individual Needs and Desires. No two switches are the same. We all experience BDSM differently with unique perceptions.

The more I experience BDSM, The more I want to ensure I want to have authentic experiences.

Do what makes you happy and satisfied. 

That's spot on 🔥🔥🔥 i feel the same

[Deleted Member]

Saturday at 05:55 AM, LazyPirate said:

Switch doesn’t necessarily mean 50/50 Dom/sub, I class myself as a Dom leaning switch because I’m naturally more dominant than submissive. This doesn’t mean I’m any less of a switch however.

I can’t relate I’m definitely 50/50

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Daddy4usub said:

I can’t relate I’m definitely 50/50

Cannnn**

[Wo****]

1 hour ago, Daddy4usub said:

I can’t relate I’m definitely 50/50

Says 75 per cent submissive on your profile 😋

[BaritoneSwitch]

I can relate to your confusion. I didn't think that I had any dom tendencies at all, until it turned out that all the partners I had the opportunity to play with were subs and so I just jumped in and tried my best. Fortunately, I discovered that I like topping from time to time, and very naturally started slipping into the role of a brat tamer without even knowing the term. As everyone has said already, whatever your preferences turn out to be, are totally fine. As long as you've given subbing a good, honest try. Personally I find being on top quite draining, so I have to be very energized and enthusiastic to do it properly.

 

Eventually the conclusion that I landed on was: My dom self is a character that I enjoy playing. Sub is who I truly am. If that makes any sense lol

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, BaritoneSub said:

I can relate to your confusion. I didn't think that I had any dom tendencies at all, until it turned out that all the partners I had the opportunity to play with were subs and so I just jumped in and tried my best. Fortunately, I discovered that I like topping from time to time, and very naturally started slipping into the role of a brat tamer without even knowing the term. As everyone has said already, whatever your preferences turn out to be, are totally fine. As long as you've given subbing a good, honest try. Personally I find being on top quite draining, so I have to be very energized and enthusiastic to do it properly.

 

Eventually the conclusion that I landed on was: My dom self is a character that I enjoy playing. Sub is who I truly am. If that makes any sense lol

My dominance stems from the need for control. As I've already stated, losing control is my #1 ***. That's why I'm confused about my submissive fantasies, because I would barely give anyone the control. It looks easy in my imagination, but in that case, the domme is simply a product of my mind, so I still pretty much control the situation.

[Gi****]

4 hours ago, BaritoneSub said:

I can relate to your confusion. I didn't think that I had any dom tendencies at all, until it turned out that all the partners I had the opportunity to play with were subs and so I just jumped in and tried my best. Fortunately, I discovered that I like topping from time to time, and very naturally started slipping into the role of a brat tamer without even knowing the term. As everyone has said already, whatever your preferences turn out to be, are totally fine. As long as you've given subbing a good, honest try. Personally I find being on top quite draining, so I have to be very energized and enthusiastic to do it properly.

 

Eventually the conclusion that I landed on was: My dom self is a character that I enjoy playing. Sub is who I truly am. If that makes any sense lol

Having recently topped for the first time and pretty much out of the blue, your conclusion interests me. I’m exploring my emotions and reactions to the experience and it brings up so many questions.

[ol****]

Ah, are we back to the D/s Top / bottom question?

Topping from the bottom is somthing that needs massive skill IMHO.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, oldfellow said:

Topping from the bottom is somthing that needs massive skill IMHO.

Not really topping from the bottom. I won't be commanding the domme on what to do. But well, my fantasies are directed by my mind, so the imaginary mistress follows a script in a way.

I've never played seriously with a dominant, so I don't know how would I feel about being controlled by someone independent on my mind.