Am I a dom or sub

[Divalicious]

As a 50 year old newby I finally decided to explore my kinkier side. I've had a little experience as a dom, but I'm wondering if I should explore being a sub too.

Would this make me a better dom?

Edited October 14, 2020 by Divalicious

[Ko****]

That's a good question. I don't have a lot of experience myself.My point of reference would be, being empathic towards who you ever encounter. I think it is humbling experience to start at the bottom and slowly progress. To gain insight might help you to relate to people. That's my take if your question.

[Ky****]

  6 hours ago, Divalicious said:

As a 50 year old newby I finally decided to explore my kinkier side. I've had a little experience as a dom, but I'm wondering if I should explore being a sub too.

Would this make me a better dom?

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some people think it does, many prodommes advertise that they were prosubs so presumably it makes them more attractive to clients

[ey****]

no

experience as a sub has no real baring on your ability to be a better Dominant.

Whilst there's arguments about what you "understand" there's more to understanding than feeling what something feels like when you're hit with it

[gibo94]

I am 25 and a Dom but I did try being a sub when I first got started. I think it’s important to try both as it also gives you a good perspective on both sides aswell backing you a better Dom if that is what you choose

[Ky****]

  6 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

no

experience as a sub has no real baring on your ability to be a better Dominant.

Whilst there's arguments about what you "understand" there's more to understanding than feeling what something feels like when you're hit with it

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or maybe just where the most tender bits are, I have no desire to be a domme but certainly have learnt that

[Desidaddy]

Hello family, I have been dom for long time and over the years I have learned that if you don’t have to be a dom or a sub.  I will explain it all depends on the chemistry of the couple, like our hand no two fingers are same.  You can explore both the side their no harm but the out come might not be the same in real world vs In testing period.  I will suggest to be a realistic dom then a perfect one.  Read your sub, learn and apply, takes time.

[ey****]

  3 hours ago, Kymi said:

or maybe just where the most tender bits are, I have no desire to be a domme but certainly have learnt that

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you can learn that without being hit and of course remember there's more to Domination or submission than play.

[Ky****]

  44 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

you can learn that without being hit and of course remember there's more to Domination or submission than play.

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true, trying to be humorous

[Loverboy1995]

But I naver know unless u try or which one u like most I been also told

[Koby]

Yes and No.

Experiencing Submission can open your eyes to how it feels like to be in *** position. It can't truly replicate the emotions a sub feels or the complete journey.

I highly doubt it would feel authentic 

[PhantomFlogger]

This is a good question, one i dont really know the answer to, but what i do know is i always thought until ive experienced what its like to be topped i couldnt truly know..

But for me, and this could just be me, i have absolutely no way of experiencing what it is like to be a sub, i just cant, or haven't yet been topped.

Ive been tied up, flogged, degraded, hunted, and many other things to try and experience what it is im dishing out, and it just doesnt feel like anything..

I have no feedback, i feel no response, no release, just frustration..

I agree its interesting to watch a sub play pretend as a Dom.. or take notes on what they imagine a Dom does.. but im not a sub, slave, bunny, little, brat, prey, servant or anything on that side of the slash... so i can never appreciate it, and id be kidding myself if i pretended it made me a better Dom for trying.

But like i said, maybe its just a me thing, im a primal hunter, so backing down or showing weakness when threatened is a foreign concept to me.

But if i liked it, im sure id do it 💁🏻‍♂️

[Deleted Member]

If you have to ask this question….. you’re a sub

[PhantomFlogger]

  24 minutes ago, hacknslashman said:

If you have to ask this question….. you’re a sub

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It does sound obvious, a Dom would know... right?

But is a Dominant someone who Dominants or someone who doesn't submit?

Is someone who serves another a Dominant because they take control, or a submissive because they do everything?

Would you say you are a submissive if you let someone make you cum?

Does someone doing what you like to you make you a Dominant?

Dynamics are complicated and cant be judged on actions, i believe its what the other person feels that defines your role.

You can be a ruthless boss at work, govern over many people and extrude pure power and dominance and still go home and submit to your partner. There is a huge difference between dominance and control.

Just like there is a difference between being a leader and being bossy.

[fu****]

Dom and sub are dynamics that co exist like ying and yang youust have both how can you appreciate one side and wht you do if not ever been in both shoes

[ze****]

I’m dom and sometimes sub too

[Ki****]

I think being a sub for a little while in the beginning did you learn about what it means to be a Dom