Personal Ads

[Deleted Member]

so far, only blocked those who ask for *** lol

 

[Ta****]

I dont remember ever getting a personal response to my ad, but I have had responses to my personal profile. 

As my personal ad appears on my profile page,  it may  just be that respondents see the profile page and the accompanying ad as one and the same thing!

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, Aranhis said:

I suspect there is a psychological aspect with at least three prongs as to why women are not inclined to reply to personal ads.

For a start, when you see an ad from somebody looking for attention of any kind, whilst there are sincere reasons for it and good matches can be found this way (see Queenie63 above), there is a reflex question some people may ask of "Why is this person having to place an ad? What is wrong with them that they have been unable to find a partner through other means?". I would hope that most people are not that judgemental, but I believe that is an undeniable *** element. It can sometimes be misconstrued as desperation, and that is never attractive.

 

Secondly, if we do like a personal ad, we might think about all the other potentials replying to it. The follow-on thoughts can have many implications. What would make the advertiser be interested in me rather than anybody else? If they are interested in a dozen people who reply, how do we know they aren't going to try it on with all twelve, juggle us around, play us off against each other? Do I really want to have to compete with others as though I'm going for a job interview?

 

Third, and I think this is really important, is the laziness factor. By posting an ad you invite people to come to you, hopefully because you have sold yourself in an appealing manner. But many people would prefer to be approached directly by you instead. They want to feel special, unique, that you have made an effort for them. They don't want the onus on them - you should be seeking them out if you are interested, then explaining why they caught your eye.

 

Of course, it really isn't that simple is it? Just as what I have written above is the case for many, I'm certain there are also plenty of people who prefer to look directly at ads instead of trawl profiles. I don't think that detracts from the impersonality of an ad though, and I think that is what I am driving at.

 

As others have mentioned already in this thread, people like to talk. People like to get to know people in a more organic fashion and let things happen naturally. There are generally differences in how the male and female brains approach these things, but no rules are hard and fast. Ultimately though, I think that is what it comes down to.

Very thoughtful response as always! I do relate to a more organic way of meeting people. Responding to an ad seems quite transactional to me. They are looking for this; I reply; we do “this” or go down a particular path. It’s very closed off when relationships (particularly kinky ones) are fluid and flexible. Or should be IMO.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Curvykate said:

Took from CurvyKate Message

Actually Aranhis quoted:

Secondly, if we do like a personal ad, we might think about all the other potentials replying to it. The follow-on thoughts can have many implications. What would make the advertiser be interested in me rather than anybody else? If they are interested in a dozen people who reply, how do we know they aren't going to try it on with all twelve, juggle us around, play us off against each other? Do I really want to have to compete with others as though I'm going for a job interview?

This sums it up for me.

Edited October 21, 2020 by Deleted Member
changed

[Cruxdom]

9 hours ago, Curvykate said:

Very thoughtful response as always! I do relate to a more organic way of meeting people. Responding to an ad seems quite transactional to me. They are looking for this; I reply; we do “this” or go down a particular path. It’s very closed off when relationships (particularly kinky ones) are fluid and flexible. Or should be IMO.

Very perceptive Kate ty for your thoughts 

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Cruxdom said:

Very perceptive Kate ty for your thoughts 

☺️ Ty for posting!

[Angelus-1066]

Good question, to be honest nit many people will answer, it a shame as we are all part of such a small community 😎

[He****]

Okay it's been a few days and I've now taken notice of the ads. I think it could be because this site reaches such a big audience worldwide, that its going to be next to impossible to find 2 people close by each other's location, unless you are in some of the larger cities of the world. Thankfully we now have technology and that's not bad as you can connect with anyone anywhere. Yeah I know not as good as real, but sometimes just a connection by text or voice is okay too. Someone on this site found me to play with and we have a great time. He just approached and asked and I'm glad he did, I'm actually too shy to ask even though I post the photos that I do,  go figure. 

So maybe you ad posters, go through some of the profiles, see if you can get your fit online,  it's still a connection. There's always the chat room lots of nice peope in there. 

Again not all of us women are after ***, I'm not, I'm after connection and experiences.

[Shellshock]

17 hours ago, Hels1920 said:

Okay it's been a few days and I've now taken notice of the ads. I think it could be because this site reaches such a big audience worldwide, that its going to be next to impossible to find 2 people close by each other's location, unless you are in some of the larger cities of the world. Thankfully we now have technology and that's not bad as you can connect with anyone anywhere. Yeah I know not as good as real, but sometimes just a connection by text or voice is okay too. Someone on this site found me to play with and we have a great time. He just approached and asked and I'm glad he did, I'm actually too shy to ask even though I post the photos that I do,  go figure. 

So maybe you ad posters, go through some of the profiles, see if you can get your fit online,  it's still a connection. There's always the chat room lots of nice peope in there. 

Again not all of us women are after ***, I'm not, I'm after connection and experiences.

If I was in same part of the world I would X

[helenOfToy]

I've been here for almost a year and never received a response to my ad. I've messaged a number of people I thought were interesting, but the only ones who responded were scammers. So I have no expectations of meeting anyone special here. I just chat and try to make friends, and maybe through those contacts one day I will find my Mistress.

[Deleted Member]

I had a look too and lots of them were last login of over a year ago and I saw lots of obvious 'traders'.

Same as on most dating sites, people start enthusiastically (horny) a subscription, set up a profile/advert, login daily for a month or two and then give up, move on to the next site and start again.

The dating websites happily keep the now zombie profiles up year after year, using them on multiple partner sites and using them to drag in more people who see all the potential partners and give them ***. Some sites charge for each message sent, but say it is free to use the site.

And finally, lots of sites employ staff who are paid by the message, to sent out flirty and thirsty messages to users on the sites to try and hook them in to ing a subscription or paying a fortune to reply. Even worse are the automated bots/computer software that will send you messages and horny/lonely folk happily chat to these whilst the site takes your ***.

Sad to think about all the genuine people desperate to meet each other in this web of fakes, zombie and bots.

Edited October 26, 2020 by Deleted Member
added