Bruises and marks

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, ukmarky said:

Like someone said further up, if s/he was happy enough to use you, but by the sound of it had no interest in you the person (other than how it benefits them) then you have done the right thing by walking away - external marks will fade.

"We are a combination of our past experience. Whether we learn from them or not is up to us"

 

I’m not sure it was as simple as that. But I do worry I struggle to know what other people think want or feel. I thought in a D/s thing that may be more clear cut, but not always i guess 

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, METALSIR said:

You'll be fine.

Head up.

Move on.

Be a brave girl.

and remember.

Nothing truly good is ever easy.

Your happy will come if you keep looking for it.

We all love you.

🔓⛓💖⛓🔓

Thank you for your kindness. I feel i over indulged my emotions today 

[uk****]

22 minutes ago, Messedup79 said:

I’m not sure it was as simple as that. But I do worry I struggle to know what other people think want or feel. I thought in a D/s thing that may be more clear cut, but not always i guess 

What other people feel doesn't actually matter - its what you feel that counts, don't judge yourself against what others want/feel/need, they aren't you.

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, ukmarky said:

What other people feel doesn't actually matter - its what you feel that counts, don't judge yourself against what others want/feel/need, they aren't you.

👆👆👆

[VoyagerX]

10 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

I know you do, the lead ball in the pit of the gut. It's something most if not all have felt at one time or another. All you can do is take it one day at a time, one foot in front if the other and in time that lead ball will weigh less and less. Nothing anyone says will make a difference with healing, only time does that but it's always nice to know there are others, who do understand. You are not alone 😊

This process is called abreaction.

Bit by bit the memory loses its emotional content.

It's a bit like grieving. You have to face it and acknowledge it...... until you eventually accepted it..... and finally let it go.

As said above by DK, it does take time... but you are never alone.

I think we all know how much it hurts.

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, VoyagerX said:

This process is called abreaction.

Bit by bit the memory loses its emotional content.

It's a bit like grieving. You have to face it and acknowledge it...... until you eventually accepted it..... and finally let it go.

As said above by DK, it does take time... but you are never alone.

I think we all know how much it hurts.

 

 

 

I’ve never known it has a name. 🧐

[VoyagerX]

17 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I’ve never known it has a name. 🧐

Well now you do!.... It's usually refered to in a the***utic context.

Our memories consist of three things.

The memory. Sight, sound, touch, smell....everything from your sensory perception. The event itself.

Then your physical response. Adrenaline or dopamines. Muscle tension... *** pressure... fight or flight responses ... evacuating your bowels...

everything that  affects you biologically.

 

And and then you've got the emotional content.

How did it make you feel?

What do you make of it all?

That's your emotional response.

Many many times we have memories from our past. And there are parts of the first two bits of memory there. And yet they still haunt us without us really knowing.

Trauma represses emotion.

Abreaction is realising, facing and dealing with difficult emotions.

In which case the other two parts of your memory come along with it.

You can deal with it as you are now.

And over time it loses its emotional charge.

That's abreaction x

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

10 hours ago, Messedup79 said:

Thank you for your kindness. I feel i over indulged my emotions today 

Better out than in, every time. Its a pressure valve and one you should never be afraid to use, should the need arise. 

[Mo****]

20 hours ago, Messedup79 said:

I’m not sure He was toxic, it was me...

What makes you think it was you girl?  As a dominant, I need to be inside the head of my submissive, and for me, most of that has to happen even before play.  So I like to get to know them before a meet, and depending upon what happens at the meet, we might still not play for a while after that, but when we do, my sub will always be satisfied without the need to pretend.

So has your dominant got to that place with you, of did play begin reasonably early on in your dynamic?  They say, and I must agree with them, 'if you have my mind, my body is yours' and believe me, it's true.

[Deleted Member]

What lovely supportive people you all are x