What Defines a Little?

[Fen]

I've been thinking lately about myself, and realized I have some little-like tendencies. I'm at my happiest when my domme appreciates me. I had one who called me a "little sub" which made me instantly melt in the best way. Another called me her Dolly and liked to pick out my underwear for the day. I love being told I'm small, cute, adorable, and to get a feeling of genuine care from a domme. I even want to be degraded in a loving way. Call me a slut, but make sure I know I'm your slut, and you like that about me. I like feeling protected, loved, and controlled.

 

At the same time, I have no interest in acting or being treated like a child. I don't want to pretend I'm younger than I am, I don't want to do "innocent" things and I absolutely don't want to call a domme "mommy." It's like I have the attitude of a little, without any attraction to the usual content of the fetish. Does that mean I am a form of a little? Or am I something else? Which is more important, content or attitude? I'm inclined to say I'm not a little. Pretty much anyone looking for a little would want things from me that make me extremely uncomfortable. But at the same time, it would be nice to have some way of quickly conveying that I do best with caring treatment, even if you're doing something rough and degrading to me. I don't know. I'm interested in what anyone else thinks.

[Becci1403]

I have pretty strong tendencies of the little kind but I have found the label of a middle to be more fitting

[d3****]

Age-play is of course the roleplay of being younger or older than you actually are, and DDlg is age-play with the additional aspect of sex. From what I understand, you cannot engage in either of these unless the Submissive is pretending to be young. Since you say this is not your interest, I would conclude that you simply enjoy praise, often referred to as "praise-kink". The same as ***, you do not need to pretend to be young to enjoy it.

It is possible to have Little tendencies without actually *being* a Little, but I suspect you just have a praise-kink, and the underwear being picked by your Domme is just an aspect of being a Submissive in general.

I also recommend focusing on understanding what you like and why, rather than specifically trying to put a label on it (which is not a bad thing).

[Wo****]

6 hours ago, Fen said:

I've been thinking lately about myself, and realized I have some little-like tendencies. I'm at my happiest when my domme appreciates me. I had one who called me a "little sub" which made me instantly melt in the best way. Another called me her Dolly and liked to pick out my underwear for the day. I love being told I'm small, cute, adorable, and to get a feeling of genuine care from a domme. I even want to be degraded in a loving way. Call me a slut, but make sure I know I'm your slut, and you like that about me. I like feeling protected, loved, and controlled.

 

At the same time, I have no interest in acting or being treated like a child. I don't want to pretend I'm younger than I am, I don't want to do "innocent" things and I absolutely don't want to call a domme "mommy." It's like I have the attitude of a little, without any attraction to the usual content of the fetish. Does that mean I am a form of a little? Or am I something else? Which is more important, content or attitude? I'm inclined to say I'm not a little. Pretty much anyone looking for a little would want things from me that make me extremely uncomfortable. But at the same time, it would be nice to have some way of quickly conveying that I do best with caring treatment, even if you're doing something rough and degrading to me. I don't know. I'm interested in what anyone else thinks.

Sensual submissive?

Sensual isn't always gentle.

 

[ol****]

The problem with labels is they very often fail to actually define the specific kink that you might have.

I can completely identify with what @Becci1403 has said about "middle" being a good word to describe herself.

I think I have "daddy" tendancies but cannot wrap my head around ABDL, all power to those that can and do though.

[qu****]

1 hour ago, oldfellow said:

The problem with labels is they very often fail to actually define the specific kink that you might have.

I can completely identify with what @Becci1403 has said about "middle" being a good word to describe herself.

I think I have "daddy" tendancies but cannot wrap my head around ABDL, all power to those that can and do though.

There's a lot like that, I used to think like that till I properly chatted with a little, after a short while she called me daddy out of the blue and well it just felt right, it was only online but still, try not thinking about it and just respond, you never know

[Sassy13]

CG/l and age play are not the same thing. CG/l, to me at least, is the dynamic style, whereas age play is a kink/role play fetish which may or may not be a part of the dynamic.

You can be a Dom or sub without being in to impact or breath play. You can be a Caregiver or little without being in to age play.

[Fen]

5 hours ago, DanteReign said:

Age-play is of course the roleplay of being younger or older than you actually are, and DDlg is age-play with the additional aspect of sex. From what I understand, you cannot engage in either of these unless the Submissive is pretending to be young. Since you say this is not your interest, I would conclude that you simply enjoy praise, often referred to as "praise-kink". The same as ***, you do not need to pretend to be young to enjoy it.

It is possible to have Little tendencies without actually *being* a Little, but I suspect you just have a praise-kink, and the underwear being picked by your Domme is just an aspect of being a Submissive in general.

I also recommend focusing on understanding what you like and why, rather than specifically trying to put a label on it (which is not a bad thing).

I know enough epistemology to understand that labels aren't too important, but I also recognize that they're useful. If I can find a term to describe this accurately, it makes me easier to find for compatible dommes, and makes it easier for me to find them.

 

I'm not sure if praise-kink is the right term. I always like making my partner feel good. I want her to be comfortable, happy, turned on, and whenever possible, satisfied. Praise affirms that I'm doing a good job. A woman calling me sexy makes me happy, but it doesn't inherently turn me on. Not like being called adorable does. I think I like it as a form of gentle ***. It's precisely because I'm not a little that using similar terms turns me on. Which fits with the underwear too. Giving someone else control over that certainly feels (the good kind of) degrading to me.

[Fen]

5 hours ago, Bounty said:

Sensual submissive?

Sensual isn't always gentle.

 

That seems... absolutely right. It also explains/covers my love of physical contact. Being grabbed, squeezed, held down, body contact, etc. I think you hit the nail on the head.

[CylonBabySwitch]

I have the same headspace abt being a little. I call my Dom Daddy just cause he’s older than myself and it just fits our dynamic better. I don’t do “little” things either. I’m like you. It’s the protection, adoration,and control that he gives that makes the ddlg dynamic work for us

[Deleted Member]

I know what you mean as I have had a similar problem but from the other end. When I started embracing my kink side I knew practically nothing and so learnt from a blog by a couple who were in a DDLG dynamic.
The thing that attracted me to them was how loving and caring their relationship was along with the kinky play.
This lead to me talking with people who had similar blogs and I ended up chatting with a girl who told me I was a daddy and into DDLG from what I had described to her.
I later learnt this was not the case and was just someone trying to *** me to be something they wanted as I am not into ageplay.
However I believed it due to my lack of experience but more so because like you I do really enjoy the comfort and loving side of the dynamic.
However due to my non interest in age play ect I don't identify as a Daddy anymore and have, like you, looked into an alternative title.
Unfortunately I haven't really found one that helps to give a general idea of me being a Dom who loves to comfort his sub.
For now I generally say I'm a Dom who has a caring/protective side similar to that in DDLG though without any interest in ageplay.
Not the best title sorry lol though hopefully you do better than I did in finding the right title :)

[ol****]

22 hours ago, quietlysure said:

There's a lot like that, I used to think like that till I properly chatted with a little, after a short while she called me daddy out of the blue and well it just felt right, it was only online but still, try not thinking about it and just respond, you never know

I quite agree with you, I was more responding to what the OP had said.