guys or girls?

[Knotjoey]

I don't mind messaging first but I like it when a woman messages first either way

[Deleted Member]

Most women tend to wait for men to send the first message, to make the first move.
Then they complain about it because they don't find anyone interesting enough for them to move forward with.
This makes total sense.

You can't expect something good to happen in your life if you don't do anything beforehand.
Regardless of your gender or your role.

Both people would prefer to be sure to not waste any time, still one of them has to send the first message.

*Btw, notice the subtle difference between sending the first message and doing the first move.*

[TheLabRats]

So this is perfect, I asked my boyfriend out and he really liked it because he always had to make the first move. Me asking him made him feel wanted and desired. Also he wouldn't have made the first move at all. It was only when I asked him out that he got the idea that I liked him..... he was a bit slow to show.

[Deleted Member]

When I was single, I did message (first) quite a few men on this site and others. I found it quite tough at the start to do that as a sub. But a friend encouraged me to contact those I was interested in rather than being passive and waiting to see who messaged me. It gave me a lot more confidence even though a fair few men never replied to me. 

[SammyB]

For me I never initiate contact ever , it’s just how I am x

[Mo****]

What everyone here should remember is that we are part of a different lifestyle, so to this point, we are all interested in some way in KINK.  There are many here that have little interest/knowledge or experience in this kink lifestyle and are unsure of what protocols are the everyday norm, i.e. does a Dom / Master make the first move.  We should also remember that we are or should be non-judgmental, and that until YOU as the submissive / slave gives your gift of submission or service, then we are just people sharing an interest.  Think of it as if we are at a huge party where we just say hi to others passing by us.

Having said that, please, if you are going to message someone, make that message informative or interesting, because that is the first step towards building a repore.

 

Now if someone should message you barking out orders or demanding things, or wanting to go to some other place to chat after the first message, then THEY should be blocked  or ignored, because they are fakes or scammers.  This place has a very good message center without the need to go to some other place like 'hangout'.

Also remember, be RESPECTFUL with your message. 

 

[Ta****]

I really appreciate your input and opinions!! This has helped me a lot! and I hope it has helped others too!
<3 eli

[Deleted Member]

I prefer a woman to message first as I usually have no idea how to start conversations

[Mo****]

  31 minutes ago, BabyHuey said:

I prefer a woman to message first as I usually have no idea how to start conversations

Expand  

Mate the best way to start a conversation is READ their profile and look to see if there is any common threads/connections/interests, and if there is, then introduce yourself and write about those common threads, asking how they're going with their search, what experiences you have had with them (kinks/fetishes/circumstances) from your perspective, and asking if they would care to chat.  If they are interested in what you have had to say, then there is a fair chance they will respond.  This response may take some time because we all have a life to live, so do NOT think that they are ignoring you and become bitter and twisted.  Should they not respond (I have had responses with some members take up to 3 weeks) then just move on because they may not see the same connections as you do.  Remember to be respectful when you write to them.

[al****]

Both

[Ki****]

Both

[Da****]

If you want something say something.

[Sinbad11]

It doesn't matter how it is done depends on how comfortable the lady is

[Nikki_Hexy]

In this day and age, Gender shouldnt play a factor in this as everyone is equal regardless of gender or race or personal beliefs or even their role as a D or s untill a Dynamic is agreed

[Dr****]

Either or, should enjoy giving one just as much as getting one

[Lu****]

I’m good either way but a girl messaging first shows confidences and that’s always hot

[pa****]

Heck yes, message if you are interested, he won't know unless you tell him

[Ma****]

It really doesn’t matter. I think it is up to the individual to reach out.

[bu****]

I like confident girls when they message first it's hot

[Pa****]

I think if you are interested then just message. It doesn’t matter who messages first

[ro****]

I think it works both ways most of the time the guys are so anxious they will start messaging the girl first but sometimes the guy is just laid back like the woman and if no one makes a move nothing will happen

[ph****]

I definitely like when women do first . I'm just exploring some of my kinks and being on the fem side prefer it sometimes.

[va****]

It's a pretty big turn on when a woman comes on to me first

[Ho****]

Doesn’t matter, in the end I like to be taken by *** anyways.

[zo****]

If a girl knows what she wants in life then go for it. Dunno why mean have to ask the girl out first if your afraid just let them know you like them you didn't ask them out your not committing to that person your just letting them Know hey I like you if you want the guy to ask you out.