How can I learn about femdom/BDSM?

[Deleted Member]

Some Advance Mistresses asked to go and learn about BDSM and educate myself  but  not sure where and how should I start? I am not unfamiliar about BDSM but apparently is not enough  

[Mz****]

2 hours ago, sub2Females said:

Some Advance Mistresses asked to go and learn about BDSM and educate myself  but  not sure where and how should I start? I am not unfamiliar about BDSM but apparently is not enough  

I hesitated about answering this because I think deep down you don't mean to keep saying the wrong things, or deliberately misunderstanding/ not listening..but to set the record straight for A/anyone intending to answer this both sides of the conversation should be available.

You weren't asked or told to do anything. You were advised for the 8th or 9th time in the last 2 days that myself and the other Domme you're referring to cannot provide the answer to every single question, theory, or idea you may have, and that if you want to know something that you should broaden your knowledge pool, read articles, posts, enrol in a class or two, read some more, and ask more than just us two questions, it is your responsibility to find out about the things that interest you.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

  

Thank you Mz Jax for your Reply my bad. I should have used Advised you are right. I am Sorry.  For start I am interested in SM  I consider myself a Masochist. The things that I already know is the importance of Consent  and Safe Play so I never play without a SafeWord.  It is important that The Domme/Mistress also be experienced so I wont play with inexperienced person.

To me BDSM/Femdom is like a fire it will cheer you up but you have to be careful not to get burnt from it because it can burn you both physically and mentally(requires a strong foundation of mentality) if you not be careful from my research and experience. 

 

Please don't take me wrong I am not saying this to prove I know. In fact I don't know anything of course I am Not expecting you to spoon feed me. That is very rude an against BDSM Protocol. Perhaps based on what you know about my knowledge you can give me some keywords to research next please.  Thank you Mz Jax and Mistresses how read my post.

Edited December 29, 2020 by Deleted Member
Mistake

[Deleted Member]

 

40 minutes ago, MzJax said:

 

 

Delete

 

40 minutes ago, MzJax said:

 

 

Edited December 29, 2020 by Deleted Member
Delete

[Deleted Member]

Try books. I hear they contain knowledge. A website called "amazon" sells them sometimes.

[ey****]

I was going to answer last night, but some additional context redirects my answer a bit.

So, someone the other day on Twitter posted an example exchange.   A sub, who she did not know had asked a question.  She replied, "I will answer that for £20", he then replied, "Why? When Google is free" 

And sometimes that's the point.  Often google is free so sometimes there's a question of why are you taking someone's time up to answer something you can very easily find the answer to yourself.

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A lot of people also find the handholding and micromanaging to be very tiring.  You are not a toddler, and Dominants are not your mother there to answer or entertain your every thought.

I guess an advantage of things like forums is that when questions are asked it can spread the load and inspire discussion, rather than just lumping onto the same people.

Something worth looking up is called the 'Mental Load' - while this mainly relates to things like household chores, it's information is very transferable.  But even sometimes asking people for resources can, in itself, be adding to this - let's play out a basic conversation

"You need to increase your understanding"
"How?"

"Read a book. Read blogs. Read forums. Go to a munch and talk to people."

"Which books/blogs/forums/munches/etc would you recommend?" - and whilst that seems like a reasonable question, it still places burden on others to then have to identify and pick resources, which is still taking up their time, for your learning.

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As a final, what my answer would have been without context is that usually when people ask others to improve their knowledge it usually means learning in how to approach and interact with people, especially those you are trying to impress.

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheep @MzJax @comehereboy Thank you for your advices I believe I have found my pathway. Thank you. 

[ey****]

I'm going to tell a story I've not told before.  But, about 2 years ago there was a guy on here who was very enquiring and was finding his way a bit.

He started asking me questions privately, which I was happy enough to answer even if I was going through a bit of a rough period myself.

One day, I woke up to a message notification - I assumed it was him, but it wasn't - but I spotted he'd deleted his profile.  And 2 years later I've still no idea what happened.

It left me feeling exhausted that I'd put so much time into helping someone and then they vanish without a trace.   I don't know if he had a wife find out. Or maybe he found a partner and no longer needed the site.  Or maybe he just decided this whole world of kink wasn't for him (something that is more common than it seems)

And I think many people have been through similar.   It's draining and the thanks you end up getting is a deleted profile without so much as a goodbye.
At least answering questions on the forum it's easier to pick and choose when to reply, leave things if you don't have the energy and if someone decides stuff isn't for them, it's at least writing potentially helpful for someone else

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheep Yes I agree with you Mate. 

Forum is much better because you don't disturb anyone as you said you can also have a collection of opinions and also  it  will get documented so other people can read if they have the common question my Mistake was that I used to ask my questions in Lobby but really the forum is the right place and people wont get annoyed in the chat section Lol.   

Well I am sorry that happened to you mate.