Online appeal - your embarrassing stories to cheer up a poorly Lockfairy?

[Deleted Member]

I feel horrible. 

I look disgusting. 

I’m more of a Sneezefairy at the moment than a Lockfairy. They’re erupting from my face a half dozen at a time, tumbling over one another in their haste like explosive lemmings - not even waiting until the previous one has cleared the cliff face before the next detonates. My pelvic floor muscles are being tested to destruction.

So. Cheer me up. Tell me the worst, funniest, most embarrassing, kinky thing that ever happened to you and let me snigger at your discomfort. 

I’d start with one of my own stories, but my parts are new in these parts and the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to me so far is when my 3yo son called down the stairs to ask me what something was. Soon after, a buzzing, gyrating sort of sound started up and I stood, frozen in fascinated horror as he came to the top of the stairs, holding my fully-operational, fluorescent pink rabbit, in full view of myself and the man who’d come to read the meter. 

 

(And, yes, I know this will have been asked a dozen times on the forum before, but take pity on my revolting, snuffling (isolated 🤒) self and indulge me.)

[Deleted Member]

I know how you feel lockfairy I’m coughing and sneezing and chocking on my own mucus and gunge.So hopefully I might cheer you up with an awkward situation that I found myself in a few years ago. I was having a relationship with a woman who was also my mums hairdresser.She had no experience with kink or sexual fetishises but she was keen to try being a domme. We went sex shopping ( don’t you just love sex shopping 🛒) got her thigh pvc boots , sexy underwear, open pvc tops etc . I had my own gear and tons of sm stuff so we got down to business. After a few months of pleasurable experiments we agreed to go to a fetish club just west of London. She was very nervous and drank nearly half a bottle of vodka on the journey there. We arrived got some drinks and wandered around and got chatting with a few of the regulars who made us both feel comfortable. A couple of hours later I find myself talking with two dommes and it was suggested that we go to one of the play areas where they had a whipping frame.I was tied standing with my arms tied to the top of the frame and my ankles to the base . One of dommes asked my girlfriend permission to whip , *** and *** me.Permission granted .My girlfriend and the younger of the two dommes sat close together in front of me so they could enjoy watching my *** as I was whipped, paddled , nipples pinched and squeezed,balls and cock smacked.During my session I was excited to view my girlfriend kissing the younger domme who was masturbating her clit through a white g string, she had one eye on me and one eye closed in passion as they kissed.I have never felt so excited I was floating in a spiritual experience with visual and physical sensations and I totally let myself go.Unfortunately this utopia was about to burst as I wasn’t aware that a big jealous monster was forming in my girlfriends head.The domme who was whipping me enjoyed me saying Anything! Anything! for you Mistress I will suffer for your pleasure I’m yours ......ooopps shouldn’t have said that! The session stops and I’m totally unaware that I’ve ***ed off my girlfriend who by now has drank a bottle of vodka.So to start with I get the moody silent treatment followed by a barrage of verbal *** ( oh you will do anything for her yea ? Fuck off with her then ! ) WHAT
where has this come from ive gone from being in heaven and suddenly in a violent confrontation with my girlfriend.We both agreed to leave so we got our coats and left . As we got outside she punches me in the face and now I’m ***d into trying to calm her down.The noise and screaming and shouting attracts attention from other club members.Eventually I managed to get her into the back of my transit van and close the door and drive her back to Saint Albans .I get on to the dual carriageway and she suddenly starts smashing the van doors so I have to stop on the hard shoulder and let her out .She comes at me with a ridding crop hitting me in the head and face . I just exploded with anger and grabbed her by the coat which falls on to the floor . I’m dressed in leather chaps and a thong and she has just ran into the pitch darkness of the grassed area .Cars and lorries pass by as I try to search for her in the blackness with my phone torch . Eventually I find her laying face down in the wet grass .How did I end up here I think to myself as I coax her back to the van as it’s now the tiers and crying time.I was exhausted as I drove her back home and realised that this was a big mistake and she just wasn’t comfortable with fetish and kinky perverts like me .She stills cuts my mums hair now ! Lol hope this cheers you up it really happened x

[Bo****]

Non conscent........Vanilla,..........& Kilt.
I happily wear kilts,as i did on my wedding day,thrilling my english ex!
At our wedfing function ;whilst mingling ,i was suddenly aware of a hand cupping my testicles !
Smirking,i glanced over my shoulderin expectation of my new wife................
"I am 89!....I may never get another chance to find out if Scots actually go naked under the kilt!" Announced my Bride's aunt in a champagne induced loud voice. .......
To complete the set,on return from honeymoon by various familial guests ,to be told of their embarassment at photo shop( we still had film then!) A roll of photos up my kilt.......courtesy of my angelic stepson! (12 & a sense of humour!)
Big tribeVibe🙏

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, TAROTT said:

I know how you feel lockfairy I’m coughing and sneezing and chocking on my own mucus and gunge.So hopefully I might cheer you up with an awkward situation that I found myself in a few years ago. I was having a relationship with a woman who was also my mums hairdresser.She had no experience with kink or sexual fetishises but she was keen to try being a domme. We went sex shopping ( don’t you just love sex shopping 🛒) got her thigh pvc boots , sexy underwear, open pvc tops etc . I had my own gear and tons of sm stuff so we got down to business. After a few months of pleasurable experiments we agreed to go to a fetish club just west of London. She was very nervous and drank nearly half a bottle of vodka on the journey there. We arrived got some drinks and wandered around and got chatting with a few of the regulars who made us both feel comfortable. A couple of hours later I find myself talking with two dommes and it was suggested that we go to one of the play areas where they had a whipping frame.I was tied standing with my arms tied to the top of the frame and my ankles to the base . One of dommes asked my girlfriend permission to whip , *** and *** me.Permission granted .My girlfriend and the younger of the two dommes sat close together in front of me so they could enjoy watching my *** as I was whipped, paddled , nipples pinched and squeezed,balls and cock smacked.During my session I was excited to view my girlfriend kissing the younger domme who was masturbating her clit through a white g string, she had one eye on me and one eye closed in passion as they kissed.I have never felt so excited I was floating in a spiritual experience with visual and physical sensations and I totally let myself go.Unfortunately this utopia was about to burst as I wasn’t aware that a big jealous monster was forming in my girlfriends head.The domme who was whipping me enjoyed me saying Anything! Anything! for you Mistress I will suffer for your pleasure I’m yours ......ooopps shouldn’t have said that! The session stops and I’m totally unaware that I’ve ***ed off my girlfriend who by now has drank a bottle of vodka.So to start with I get the moody silent treatment followed by a barrage of verbal *** ( oh you will do anything for her yea ? Fuck off with her then ! ) WHAT
where has this come from ive gone from being in heaven and suddenly in a violent confrontation with my girlfriend.We both agreed to leave so we got our coats and left . As we got outside she punches me in the face and now I’m ***d into trying to calm her down.The noise and screaming and shouting attracts attention from other club members.Eventually I managed to get her into the back of my transit van and close the door and drive her back to Saint Albans .I get on to the dual carriageway and she suddenly starts smashing the van doors so I have to stop on the hard shoulder and let her out .She comes at me with a ridding crop hitting me in the head and face . I just exploded with anger and grabbed her by the coat which falls on to the floor . I’m dressed in leather chaps and a thong and she has just ran into the pitch darkness of the grassed area .Cars and lorries pass by as I try to search for her in the blackness with my phone torch . Eventually I find her laying face down in the wet grass .How did I end up here I think to myself as I coax her back to the van as it’s now the tiers and crying time.I was exhausted as I drove her back home and realised that this was a big mistake and she just wasn’t comfortable with fetish and kinky perverts like me .She stills cuts my mums hair now ! Lol hope this cheers you up it really happened x

OMG! What a nightmare! Imagine if one of those cars had stopped to see what was going on and you in your chaps and thong? 😂

[Deleted Member]

I think I might have been ***ed I’ve heard the stories about lorry drivers lol 

[Bo****]

Big hippy healing hugs..... 'N'  love your writting thanks🙏

[Deleted Member]

Thanks mate 👍

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, TAROTT said:

I think I might have been ***ed I’ve heard the stories about lorry drivers lol 

Could have turned into a good night after all 😊

hope you feel better soon!

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, Boldbald said:

Big hippy healing hugs..... 'N'  love your writting thanks🙏

Sounds like an exciting family to be married into. 😳

And, I’m going to say thanks too, in case you meant me 😂

[ey****]

for a quick win

A time in a dungeon with a Mistress, she reached into a cabinet and found a small taser.  "Do you know what this is?", she asked
"No," I replied.

She zapped me.  In the shock of not expecting the shock, I ended up going flying across the room.  She had me on a collar and lead and was holding the lead and ended up in a heap on the floor

[Bo****]

4 hours ago, Lockfairy said:

Sounds like an exciting family to be married into. 😳

And, I’m going to say thanks too, in case you meant me 😂

Actually was vanilla prison of celibacy,lol!........and yes, was actually meant for both of you.....but i have read alot of your posts.....so looking forward,& saying thanks again on account.......

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Boldbald said:

Actually was vanilla prison of celibacy,lol!........and yes, was actually meant for both of you.....but i have read alot of your posts.....so looking forward,& saying thanks again on account.......

I was in one of those for six years. Lots of laughter though, so not all bad. 😏 Cheers x

[Nease]

This is kinky if one has an embarrassment fetish...I was at an empty bar having a beer and a pretty young gal sat next to me. I thought of the quickest icebreaker I could and, trying to be funny, I said we'd better not hook up or anything coz I think we're related. She asked why, of course.perfect so far...I said, well, I have a patch of hair ony back too. She looked ***ed! I got 86ed to a far barstool. As I walked behind her to assume my new position, the late afternoon sun lit up the million peachy fuzziest on her gorgeous back. I had no fucking idea.

[gi****]

I just put up a story about being locked out naked on a dare.