no sex, just bondage!

[Kimberlycook]

Having explored my feeling about the subject in the last few month, i've hit a weird place! 

I initially considered my attraction towards bdsm to be sexual, but recently, I just want to be restrained, no sex at all.

Is that normal?

[UK****]

Well society doesn't think of bondage and sex as normal, so who are we to judge :-)

[UK****]

To be less frivolous though, there is no 'normal' with bdsm, it's what works for you and the person you are with.

[Carnelian2]

I get an absolute buzz out of tying someone up  even without intercourse or other physical sexual activity. Literally on cloud nine, so you can get pleasure out of bondage, it just appeals to a whole range of other senses and emotions, incl. the connection with the person trusting you to tie her up.

[Mz****]

1 hour ago, Kimberlycook said:

Having explored my feeling about the subject in the last few month, i've hit a weird place! 

I initially considered my attraction towards bdsm to be sexual, but recently, I just want to be restrained, no sex at all.

Is that normal?

Its very common, and no different to a masochist who just craves ***, the voyeur who just wants to watch, someone who just wants to be degraded or just to provide service..what I'm trying to say is that there is no normal, we are all driven by something different because we are all unique..enjoy what you enjoy for whatever reason you enjoy it.

[Deleted Member]

A while back As a Dom I found during a particularly intense and long scene that when the sub was needing a break I was sitting there realising I didn’t need any traditional sexual contact... if the scene stopped there I’d be completely sexually fulfilled... it didn’t stop she just needed a break and some care; but it was a real revelation when it first happened. I’ve since had a number of scenes where I didn’t have any sexual contact like that and I was completely satisfied.

But I also echo earlier points made - there is no “normal” 🖤.

[Deleted Member]

Your kink is your kink; no one else gets to say otherwise.

[Invisible71]

TBH, it dosent have to be all about penetrative sex and as a guy it'd rather lots of interesting play than actual intercourse 

There is so much more to pleasing or being pleased. 

 

Enjoy whatever YOU want to enjoy. 

[Deleted Member]

Shibari or kinbaku practice then.
The usual misconception that BDSM is only about sexual activities when actually cover over 100 different type of practices. The only commun denominator of all of them is pleasure, pleasure for the body and the mind.

[Deleted Member]

Think for a minute about what BDSM stands for. It’s widely accepted that although there are only four letters this stands for six different aspects of the lifestyle: Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Every one of these six aspects can cover an enormous practical range, from the mildly titillating to the extreme of hardcore. and for each of the six, there is the active and passive, so you could say that there are actually twelve aspects. But there’s absolutely no mention of sex in there anywhere, is there?

My personal take on this is that although BDSM is widely associated with (often deviant) sexual practices, there are some practitioners of it who (sometimes quite purposely) avoid the sex entirely. I’ve done it both ways. I’ve enjoyed some BDSM practices without any (penetrative) sex, but more usually, some sort of sexual activity has been included.

I’ve previously been told that I’m a Kinkster but I’m “not BDSM”. Well that’s subjective, isn’t it? I love the bondage but I’m not too excited about the discipline. I really go for the domination and submission but I can happily leave the sadism and masochism. And if there is no sex but we are both having fun, then what’s the problem? After all, it’s what floats my boat that dictates what I like. And it’ll be whatever floats your boat that dictates what you like.

It’s my experience that the magic really happens when you find yourself playing with someone who loves doing to you what you love being done to you, and vice versa. Different links for different kinks.

It might sound a bit random, this, but one of the most enjoyable sessions I had was with someone with whom I simply sat naked and chatted with for a couple of hours. Absolutely nothing physical happened but it was a most rewarding and satisfying experience nonetheless. Just a (sapiosexual) connection can sometimes be all that you need.

I think there’s quite a lot of this community that realise that actually there is no “normal”. Some people here love getting filthy in a *** session. Personally, I couldn’t think of anything worse. But then again others would consider what I love doing to be absolutely unthinkable!

So just go with the flow and see where the wind does you blow...

[Deleted Member]

I really empathise with you, I have found recently that I would like to have a play partner whom I create a strong emotional bond with to carry out complicated ties, tighter bondage and more intense impact scenes but I don't really want sex to be involved.

Would love to feel that intense connection with someone from purely bondage/shibari and impact play