Dealing with jealousy as a sub

[Bo****]

Hi everyone,

Super new here and pretty new to being a sub too. I am in a committed monogamous relationship with my dom and generally feel really secure.There are times though that i feel a sudden jealousy, mostly in connection to past partners. This brings out my bratty side and I push. I think I'm pushing because my dom puts me in my place so to speak and that makes me feel secure and settled again. Is this normal for a sub? I have never experienced jealousy in this way before.

Thanks! 

[MikeySub1]

I went through the same feelings haha. Kind of a territorial thing and wanting to know where I stacked up with past partner's. I also didn't know how I felt about past partner's cause it made me feel less special or unique to my domme.

[Deleted Member]

I think this is not that unusual, in vanilla the same emotions can come into play so why would kink be any different. Most of us at one point or another have dealt with simillar emotions "am I good enough, was the last partner better than me" etc. Easier just to try and accept all have a past, and if it wasn't for that past you wouldn't be where you are now. It's that past that brought you together so is it a bad thing? I don't think so.

[Deleted Member]

I think there is an incredible vulnerability that comes with being a sub.  You give yourself to your Dominant in so many ways which is why discernment in choosing your Dominant is so important as well as maintaining your own identity.  I lost myself as a sub and when my ***s came to fruition I felt like I'd died.   But riding that storm and rebuilding myself I realised that I am enough.  That's what I want to tell you when you feel jealous,  you are enough

 

🔥🔥🔥

[ey****]

Jealousy is common.

It can especially manifest if past or prospective subs are spoken about and you feel insecure that you will be 'that good'

I've struggled a bit at times in the past when people have implied their other/previous subs are better than me.

[Deleted Member]

Communicate this a bit with your Dom, might influence their aftercare of you, could help.

[Koby]

On 1/20/2021 at 9:23 PM, Boots-5855 said:

There are times though that i feel a sudden jealousy, mostly in connection to past partners. 

Your previous partners?

Both sides of the slash feel the pangs of jealousy now and again. It becomes more and  more difficult the more you emotional invest. Suppression does not help, giving into these feelings won't help. 

Keeping communication channels open is part of the solution alongside building on the foundations of your relationship. Introspection also will be useful.

[sm****]

communication, open honest communication at all times is key.