Getting my partner involved in BDSM

[Bumble23]

I’ve always had a bit of a kinky side. It never really came out untill I was single and I got to experience it quite a lot over the 2 years I was single. I’ve had a mixture of rough bdsm sex and normal sex and I enjoy them both.

My boyfriend of 2 years isn’t bothered by what sex we have he happily ties me up but he’s never very dominant. How do I help him with this? I’ve tried blocking the bdsm side to me but I’m craving a good old spank [blush]. I’ve considered going to see someone and pay them, but that would be cheating and I would never do that to my boyfriend.

I’m thinking maybe asking if he wants to be blindfolded and cuffed to show him how it’s feels to loose your senses during sex? I don’t know what to do. Please share your advice! 

[TheReadingPuppy]

Say goodbye to him andFind a proper lifestyle sub.

[Mac-101]

Hey Bumble.

I’m in the same situation as you but on the other side!

Personally (and I’m sure many will disagree) I don’t think you should cuff him and give him that experience. The end goal is not for him to enjoy being a sub, otherwise you’ll be in a worse situation! You need to help him to see enjoyment in dominating you.

Perhaps give him challenges like “you can do anything you want to me tonight as long as it is not something we do regularly/ever…”, “I’ll only do something if you tell me, and you can tell me anything”, tell him how hard you’ll cum if he spanks you while inside you… leave some restraints out on the bed “if you use these I’ll/you can…”. That would be my approach, for what it’s worth.

You’re obviously in to him so try all you can before you cheat or cut and run otherwise you’ll always be wondering. Don’t rush, remember that you’ve had years to get this straight in your head.

If you, or anyone else, has advise for the inverse situation I’d be happy to hear. I’ve been with my wife for many years and only dabbled in tying hands loosely and some instruction but I want more. Like you crave to be spanked, I crave to spank. I have to be careful though as the relationship/family mean a lot to me and I don’t want to put that in danger. What do I say?

[Deleted Member]

Truly, I think communication is key. Let him know your desires and see where it goes from there. 

[ey****]

for a while, you know, my wife would pretty much dive over my knee and tell me she'd been naughty and needed spanked.  I used to be really weird with it at first, but we got there.

[KingEzio]

I would say have a conversation with him. Be subtle to begin with and try to lead him into the subject and see what he says. Some people may tie you up but not enjoy being dominant at all. I’m in a similar situation however my dominant side has come out while in a relationship and I know that my partner won’t fulfil that side. If the conversation doesn’t go well, then maybe you need to think about other options such as having a part time Dom with little to no emotions to fulfil the physical side of dominance and have your boyfriend as the emotions for day to day life

[Harry0803]

I think you should talk openly with him. It's for fun and make sex life more attractive. My situation is different, we've tried tie up and got enjoyable,but now my partner not being interested in this.