What is it with you girls and messed up in the head men/doms?

[Deleted Member]

In my opinion;

I imagine all of the PTSD stories are on here, because people feel safe to share the *** that they have went through in their life. They seek understanding, companionship, to feel that they are not alone. They want to know that others have survived similar harm, and maybe, just maybe that it isn't all their fault, in my opinion.

Human beings make mistakes. The abusive male that the girl fell for, had something going for him. It could be as simple as he gave her the attention that she had so desperately craved all of her life, at least in my case that is what it was. 

In my case, I repeatedly fell for the same type of ***rs because I had a deep seeded need for attention. For me, a successful male that had a job was not something I could handle, because they would be away at work for forty plus hours a week. For other victims it could be something else that they may not even recognize. I didn't realize that was my problem for a long time.

"All these other guys, no problems at all" This is a very very bad statement, in my opinion. If you truly believe there are human beings without problems out there, your more naïve than me which is saying something, because I just found out what misandry meant today okay. Lol. 

Its human nature to cling to something that's familiar. I married a guy after I fell out of love with him, and pretty much hated him. For the simple fact that I felt it was expected; I had my life's plan, and I put on appearances for the world of being happy. The new, the unknown was far more terrifying to me than the misery. At least in the every day misery of my life, I knew what to expect. 

"The guy was always toxic" and all the other negative things you say about ***rs. ***rs are people to. Their behavior is completely unacceptable, but they have a back story; more than likely they were a victim at some point or another. They need therapy, in my opinion. They should be punished to the full extent of the law, of course. But they also need therapy, while serving their sentence or after.

My husband(separated) was raised to never hit a woman, while suffering horrible *** from his mother through his whole childhood. My ignorant attempt to introduce bdsm into our relationship, combined with his traumatic childhood had a terrible, awful result that I still feel guilty for. I only hope he has sought help and didn't become a life-long ***r. 

I imagine that, some guys hide behind the title of Dom because they don't know better. Their behavior is not acceptable. Education is important. Media does not help. Therapy and coping skills need to be out there for them. Combined with victims who also don't know better, its often a cycle of *** that is passed on from the environment they grew up in. Something has to break the cycle, often neither the ***r nor the victim know how to do it themselves, in my opinion. 

When you mention the requirements of a Dominant, its a difficult thing for people to understand. Even five years into this lifestyle, most of it online, I'm STILL learning. So, sad as it is; misinformation, miscommunication, media, all of these things make it hard to understand what a Dom/sub relationship is really about. 

Pushing your limits is a sign of a healthy relationship. -- Something like this was said in the lobby chat room the other day. I was confused. I thought limits were suppose to be respected. I have read up on this lifestyle for at least 5 years, mind you. It turns out they were talking about soft limits. So if someone like me can misunderstand such a simple thing, its easy for a victim to accept the grooming of their ***r, and for an ***r to even believe himself to be right. I often had online Dominants in the beginning of my journey convince me that hard limits were meant to be pushed. I didn't realize that wasn't true until a few years in to my online play. So ignorance, is another factor- in my opinion. 

 

Trigger warning-

My *** approached me before, asking me about . She wasn't sure if it had happened, and I wasn't really sure either to be frank. She hadn't wanted it- I had times with my husband when I didn't want it either. For some reason both of us were under the impression you couldn't really say no once you were married. In my opinion, there are probably other females as well who don't realize that "no" is an option, and the word should be accepted. I've had my safe word violated as well by my husband before, and I just didn't know what to do about it. Maybe he didn't realize? I convinced myself. Maybe he forgot that's what the word was? So, in my opinion sometimes people don't even recognize that their rights are being violated.

End Trigger warning.

 

As far as aftercare, I didn't realize that was even a thing for years. When I found out about it, I was amazed- It was seriously, the BEST thing ever. 

 

"You attract what you get" Do you know how awful it is to know the type of men that you attract? I can not go in to detail about this matter emotionally. But I am WELL aware of some of the ***rs I attract. For some reason, I appeal to the worse sort of people and its DAMN hard to deal with. Sometimes when I think back on the men I have talked with, I think I should just set myself up outside of the sheriff's office and let all of the creatures approach me and walk into jail cells to get them off the street. So, in my case at least, its not a willing thing or something I am even aware of how or why it happens. It was so normal to attract these type of ***rs, that I honestly believed all Dominants were like that. Really it wasn't until I joined this site a few days ago that I realized there are actually Dominants that aren't like that, which kind of sickens me the amount that I have normalized terrible things. 

Part of the reason I stuck with my husband so long was because I KNEW there was worse out there. A lot worse. So when you live a life filled with ***, and something less abusive comes along? Its like a rainbow of glitter and sunshine. Because you know it can always be worse. But this time, its a little better.

 

 

& In my opinion, it is NOT that these stories are happening more often than they happened in the past. Its that woman finally feel comfortable and safe about sharing these stories, because not so far in the past the police would have dragged woman right back to their abusive husband and dropped them off. The passage of time doesn't always change behaviors that are passed down in generations, in my opinion.

 

Did I say in my opinion enough? 

 

Cuz--- 

 

In my opinion.

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, MzJax said:

This reads as if you don't care about these women you've declared damaged, (whether they are or not isn't your call by the way..you don't get to arbitrarily make such sweeping generalisations and declare anyone who disagrees delusional), what You care about is that they're not coming to you because of it, that the men they've been hurt by have made them unfit for you in some way..that you deserve better consideration from women who should be grateful for what you're offering..rants are all well and good, but they do often reveal more than you might care to show..just saying.

Oh my, burn! I thought this too.

[Deleted Member]

10 hours ago, DaddioDom said:

You just said it yourself.... “women who go BACK to their ***r....” rather people in general not just women.
The old saying is true “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. “
I won’t stop speaking up for the truth or voicing my opinion just because you/one person doesn’t like it. But what really should stop blame shifting. Or hiding under the guise of “blaming/shaming”
If you are traumatized yes that is someone’s fault. We have to start taking accountability for our own actions which bring our results and not hide behind that blame shame nonsense.
If it’s a new sub and that person gets ***d and the relationship ends up not being what they thought at the beginning. That’s probably the Doms fault. But if you keep going back to the same toxic abusive person, or keep going after toxic people, then yes it is partly your fault. And that’s the first step to cutting out negativity from your life before you move forward.
I’m sorry if you are triggered, or if you just don’t like the way things sound sorry but that’s sounds like a you problem. The fact of the matter still remains, I see too much trauma happening, breaking of consent, so much somebody has to speak out on it.

You’re showing your dangerous ignorance more every time you post. You’re not sorry I’m triggered. You don’t even give a damn that I might have experienced *** and be one of the subs you claim to be representing. You want to be the white knight “somebody has to speak out”. 🙄

[Carnelian2]

3 hours ago, Curvykate said:

You’re showing your dangerous ignorance more every time you post. You’re not sorry I’m triggered. You don’t even give a damn that I might have experienced *** and be one of the subs you claim to be representing. You want to be the white knight “somebody has to speak out”. 🙄

Maybe indeed it is a case of him being the saviour of all women and him complaining that they don't see that he obviously is the saviour 

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, DaddioDom said:

The PTSD stories are of these women. Falling for abusive, uncaring, doms who violate the terms they set and even violating their consent. That’s was the point of my post. I should’ve worded it better.

What i see here is respectfully to all, a bit of a misunderstanding but one I myself really do understand. I don't see anger from the op but frustration and with that emotion. As we all know, once the edit time is up, it can't be changed and upon re reading I think it would be fair to assume maybe regret can surface for some of us. Guilty as charged 😊.

 

Emotion can be a funny thing, and can completely misrepresent what you are actually trying to say. I don't believe for one minute the op is actively trying to victim shame, I just see a little frustration, not anger or pointy fingers 😊.

 

I think although I could be wrong the op was one most will be familiar with "why do good guys always come last" but the emotion and frustration i sensed, may have hidden the real meaning.

 

I saw a documentary a couple of years ago, I can't remember the exacts of it, why some ladies are drawn to cunts, but I'm sure there was actual scientific evidence as to why this would be and as I say I think it's a story most have heard.

 

Yet as D or Primal as I am is that not supposed to be part of who we are? Course it is 😊  Yet I believe the op means something much darker, those who damage and couldn't give a toss, the selfish, the mean. I love being a cunt,  but there is a time and a place and yeah ive got things wrong, mis tepped through word or deed but some, have no wish to learn. As long as they take, whatever the damage they couldn't care less.

 

The frustration of the op, I think was to why maybe some submissives are drawn towards these, when maybe his inbox, as mine is at times, is a little quiet, and again I really do understand that frustration. Especially when deep down you know, yeah maybe at times one can be a bit of a knob, but deep within, you know you have common basic decency. You would care, protect if you were blessed with a solid lady to explore with. You carry empathy and affection along with "The cunt." 

 

As far as some being weak men, and submissives being drawn to them then I agree but you I think miss something so important. 

 

The weakness you mention, of these men causes them to target certain ladies. They seek them out because as you say, they are weak and wish to draw submission in nefarious and sometimes dangerous ways. They seek to *** submission, not win it. Maybe they just don't want to put the effort in? it takes to win a strong submissive, or as is more likely they *** they would be spotted, found out and exposed for what they are. These types avoid those with strength for that very reason and that's why they select carefully. 

 

Yet the key thing I think you miss is most of these ladies are submissive and not all sadly, carry the strength I mentioned just now. I learned real quickly how much responsibility comes with chasing your fantasies and some, with huge respect to all especially submissives reading this, SOME are extremely pliable. So easy to manipulate and trick and that is, what I respectfully think you miss. I was stunned by an incident last year when revealed to me how one claiming to be D had manipulated and twisted the mind of a submissive. It rocked me a little and is something i will never forget. 

 

This is a huge part of the responsibility if you claim to be D. To protect those who may at that time in their lives need a little protection, to care to those whose strength at that time is maybe, a little weak. To not take advantage of those who maybe can't rationalise a safe decision. To try and see that Domination and submission is not always played by your rules? and if you can see the truth of whose fault that actually is.

 

Is it really any surprise this can occur when you consider submissives can be  specifically targeted by the weaker of those who claim to be D/Primal? All a submissive is doing is being submissive and sometimes once that control is in place it can be tough to break. Even when knowing one may be extra cuntish with a side salad of cunt, the draw and control a false D has can be extremely powerful.

 

[ol****]

I have to say I find @DaddioDom's post unhelpful in the extreme.

Shouting at victims of *** is not the right place to start this sort of conversation. All that is demonstrated on the opening post is a complete lack of understanding. Maybe accepting that you are mentally strong while other might not be is a better starting point as it may make you a little more empathic in your dealings with people.  What's that old saying about walking a mile in somebody else's shoes?

[Mz****]

1 hour ago, Primal*** said:

What i see here is respectfully to all, a bit of a misunderstanding but one I myself really do understand. I don't see anger from the op but frustration and with that emotion. As we all know, once the edit time is up, it can't be changed and upon re reading I think it would be fair to assume maybe regret can surface for some of us. Guilty as charged 😊.

 

Emotion can be a funny thing, and can completely misrepresent what you are actually trying to say. I don't believe for one minute the op is actively trying to victim shame, I just see a little frustration, not anger or pointy fingers 😊.

 

I think although I could be wrong the op was one most will be familiar with "why do good guys always come last" but the emotion and frustration i sensed, may have hidden the real meaning.

 

I saw a documentary a couple of years ago, I can't remember the exacts of it, why some ladies are drawn to cunts, but I'm sure there was actual scientific evidence as to why this would be and as I say I think it's a story most have heard.

 

Yet as D or Primal as I am is that not supposed to be part of who we are? Course it is 😊  Yet I believe the op means something much darker, those who damage and couldn't give a toss, the selfish, the mean. I love being a cunt,  but there is a time and a place and yeah ive got things wrong, mis tepped through word or deed but some, have no wish to learn. As long as they take, whatever the damage they couldn't care less.

 

The frustration of the op, I think was to why maybe some submissives are drawn towards these, when maybe his inbox, as mine is at times, is a little quiet, and again I really do understand that frustration. Especially when deep down you know, yeah maybe at times one can be a bit of a knob, but deep within, you know you have common basic decency. You would care, protect if you were blessed with a solid lady to explore with. You carry empathy and affection along with "The cunt." 

 

As far as some being weak men, and submissives being drawn to them then I agree but you I think miss something so important. 

 

The weakness you mention, of these men causes them to target certain ladies. They seek them out because as you say, they are weak and wish to draw submission in nefarious and sometimes dangerous ways. They seek to *** submission, not win it. Maybe they just don't want to put the effort in? it takes to win a strong submissive, or as is more likely they *** they would be spotted, found out and exposed for what they are. These types avoid those with strength for that very reason and that's why they select carefully. 

 

Yet the key thing I think you miss is most of these ladies are submissive and not all sadly, carry the strength I mentioned just now. I learned real quickly how much responsibility comes with chasing your fantasies and some, with huge respect to all especially submissives reading this, SOME are extremely pliable. So easy to manipulate and trick and that is, what I respectfully think you miss. I was stunned by an incident last year when revealed to me how one claiming to be D had manipulated and twisted the mind of a submissive. It rocked me a little and is something i will never forget. 

 

This is a huge part of the responsibility if you claim to be D. To protect those who may at that time in their lives need a little protection, to care to those whose strength at that time is maybe, a little weak. To not take advantage of those who maybe can't rationalise a safe decision. To try and see that Domination and submission is not always played by your rules? and if you can see the truth of whose fault that actually is.

 

Is it really any surprise this can occur when you consider submissives can be  specifically targeted by the weaker of those who claim to be D/Primal? All a submissive is doing is being submissive and sometimes once that control is in place it can be tough to break. Even when knowing one may be extra cuntish with a side salad of cunt, the draw and control a false D has can be extremely powerful.

 

What you say about the intentions behind the post may carry some legitimacy, but even if that is the case, which I personally am not convinced it is, that doesn't change what was said, or how.. nor the subsequent responses to replies, declaring something true doesn't make it so, victim shaming is never appropriate, shouting louder, insulting,  refusing to listen, questioning someone's mental health or repeating the same things doesn't improve or validate a point of view..in fact it raises concerning red flags.

Additionally if you need someone else to interpret, translate or explain what you're trying to say, then perhaps you shouldn't be saying it in the first place..particularly if you're being driven by frustration, emotional response, alcohol or anger. 

[Carnelian2]

@Primal*** - I certainly find that I gravitate towards people with a similar mindset to myself. Most of the time, this is good as like minds think alike, but if I am going through a period of emotional turmoil, my radar may be skewed or off, and therefore means that I am attracted to something that looks and feels good, although, in fact, it isn't.

Add to that a person, who, for one reason or another, have always experienced relationships that were unhealthy.
Since that person does not have a framework on which to judge whether something is healthy or not, he/she can be drawn to unhealthy relationships.

I have experienced that myself, and I am sure that there are psychological studies underpinning the observation.
 

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, MzJax said:

What you say about the intentions behind the post may carry some legitimacy, but even if that is the case, which I personally am not convinced it is, that doesn't change what was said, or how.. nor the subsequent responses to replies, declaring something true doesn't make it so, victim shaming is never appropriate, shouting louder, insulting,  refusing to listen, questioning someone's mental health or repeating the same things doesn't improve or validate a point of view..in fact it raises concerning red flags.

Additionally if you need someone else to interpret, translate or explain what you're trying to say, then perhaps you shouldn't be saying it in the first place..particularly if you're being driven by frustration, emotional response, alcohol or anger. 

All wise words 😊

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, Carnelian2 said:

Add to that a person, who, for one reason or another, have always experienced relationships that were unhealthy.
Since that person does not have a framework on which to judge whether something is healthy or not, he/she can be drawn to unhealthy relationships.

 

Of course, it's always a problem that one may get drawn Into something with no precedent to work from. So easy to find a place where one may think wrong is actually right and that's why threads and discussion are so important. I personally have learned so much from reading the opinions of others and the hope is that new ***ps may do the same 😊

[Ja****]

I'm goi got duplicate MzJax's sentiments. You seem more fixated on the fact that after suffering *** at the hands of another someone is unavailable to you, the OP reads like a total sob story. 

 

From your conduct in this thread, I see many red flags for potential partners. Maybe the common denominator isn't that all females have been emotionally scarred for life by a swarm of bad men, but that you are not suitable for them and they know it. Food for thought... 

[Carnelian2]

@AmberzThank you very much for what you posted. I can imagine that it took courage even now to write about it, but it is so important that this is discussed so as to prevent misperceptions such as those represented by the OP

[Deleted Member]

On 2/3/2021 at 11:10 AM, DaddioDom said:

See my comment above. The victims are these girls who get ***d by “doms” who don’t care. And violate their consent, hard limits and sometimes need for aftercare. It’s not empathic to justify these men abusing and traumatizing these women by they themselves having problems. If they did they could seek help, but often it’s not them traumatized it’s these subs that go for these specific types of Narcissistic, toxic men. Which is not exactly a mental disorder but more so horrible personality and lack of caring for their subs. I think this is all being taken out of context. And “you attract what you get” is valid when after this happens you go back to the same guy.... or go with another one who’s the same. I’m not blaming the victims, these women, exactly. I’m blaming the doms for being selfish and abusive but now that you bring it up yes they seem to keep going back to and for these same types of toxic guys in that case it’s not longer victimism. Even though I view these subs more the “victim” and these toxic men the culprits. Hope that puts it into perspective more. Probably should’ve worded it better. Can’t even edit a post on here to reword but it is what it is.

You certainly have made people do a lot of thinking about the subject.  I have a few ponderings about this.  

1.  Is it possible there is a higher percentage of those kinds of Doms out there, the narcissistic, toxic, power hungry, abusive 'doms'.  I think those type of people are drawn to the role of dominance.  

2.  I didn't think you were victim blaming, I think you are genuinely curious why subs fall for these kind of Doms.  I think it's because they are good a presenting an image of who they think/know you want.  They can make you feel like you have found the perfect person to trust as your Dom.  Then it becomes insidious and it is a gradual transformation from the image they have presented to who they really are and by then it is hard to leave them and subs can end up being hurt and ***d in a bewildering sense of how did that happen?

3.  How is this for messed up?  I have spoken to a few men who seem too good to be true.  My *** turns to scammers.  I have to admit, when I find a man with flaws I have a subtle sense of relief that he is more likely not a scammer lol.  Yeah...messed up.  

4.  I also hear you wondering why women don't see you as an option as their Dom.  You make claims that you would never hurt or traumatize a sub but can you really guarantee that?  I think it is a very specific relationship.  Sometimes it just doesn't fit.  Subs may not be actively choosing crap doms over you, maybe they are just not seeing what you can offer?  

5.  I think it was Bounty that said something about caregiver instincts.  I think that is pretty true when dealing with narcissistic and other toxic Doms, subs tend to want to help and make others feel good or better, perhaps that is the attraction to damaged Doms?  And Narcissism and other toxicity is still damaged.  

Just my thoughts...

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, JackReeves said:

I'm goi got duplicate MzJax's sentiments. You seem more fixated on the fact that after suffering *** at the hands of another someone is unavailable to you, the OP reads like a total sob story. 

 

From your conduct in this thread, I see many red flags for potential partners. Maybe the common denominator isn't that all females have been emotionally scarred for life by a swarm of bad men, but that you are not suitable for them and they know it. Food for thought... 

This isn’t a sob story at all. I’m not even involved in any of the stories I’ve seen on here. I don’t know why y’all flip this around on to me like I am the one with the problems. When In fact the point was, one, toxic people, two, people who keep going back to toxic people and then wonder why they’re screwed up or ruined or traumatized. This needs to be pointed out and not defended because it triggers you or you just don’t like it or it brings out inner white knight in you. This is something people legit have to start admitting that they’re attracted to broken people that leave them damaged. Not everyone is attracted to that. Some people avoid it and that’s great. Others, just keep going back and or have a long list of partners that are toxic and selfish but no one wants to accept this because it triggers them....

[Deleted Member]

Wednesday at 09:14 PM, MzJax said:

This reads as if you don't care about these women you've declared damaged, (whether they are or not isn't your call by the way..you don't get to arbitrarily make such sweeping generalisations and declare anyone who disagrees delusional), what You care about is that they're not coming to you because of it, that the men they've been hurt by have made them unfit for you in some way..that you deserve better consideration from women who should be grateful for what you're offering..rants are all well and good, but they do often reveal more than you might care to show..just saying.

You’ve worded this completely different. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t even be bringing it up or making a post about it. When you point something out in someone that they don’t realize and is causing them further damage that does not mean you don’t care and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see, especially after years experience, they’ve been hurt, traumatized, have trust issues, triggers etc. you don’t have to be some kind of authority to “declare” it. Hell, all you have to do is look in the forums and see how many stories there are. I pose a question, and everyone loses theirs shit. You just don’t like how I say it, you want to defend them, I’m not attacking them, y’all want to condescend. But still don’t look at the fact that this is happening to often and people are confused as to how’s the true victim which now I see can be so subjective anyone can state they’re the victim. I’m not here to blame shame or any of that. I think people need to start being more aware of this is all. And out of good intentions not just to point fingers and hurt feelings since I see I bring up a legit concern and people just don’t like how it sounds and get defensive when it is again a legit concern that’s needs more attention. Everything wants to point fingers for bringing it up but at least someone did.

[Deleted Member]

Read the room, mate. There are several posts (mostly by women) which have multiple likes. You’re mansplaining. You could be learning from others if you chose to.

[Deleted Member]

25 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

 You could be learning from others if you chose to.

Wise words

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

Wise words

☺️ see, I’m trying not to be argumentative! 🤣

[Deleted Member]

59 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

☺️ see, I’m trying not to be argumentative! 🤣

You Are doing well, I have to say 😂

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

You Are doing well, I have to say 😂

I do try 🥳

[Mz****]

9 hours ago, DaddioDom said:

You’ve worded this completely different. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t even be bringing it up or making a post about it. When you point something out in someone that they don’t realize and is causing them further damage that does not mean you don’t care and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see, especially after years experience, they’ve been hurt, traumatized, have trust issues, triggers etc. you don’t have to be some kind of authority to “declare” it. Hell, all you have to do is look in the forums and see how many stories there are. I pose a question, and everyone loses theirs shit. You just don’t like how I say it, you want to defend them, I’m not attacking them, y’all want to condescend. But still don’t look at the fact that this is happening to often and people are confused as to how’s the true victim which now I see can be so subjective anyone can state they’re the victim. I’m not here to blame shame or any of that. I think people need to start being more aware of this is all. And out of good intentions not just to point fingers and hurt feelings since I see I bring up a legit concern and people just don’t like how it sounds and get defensive when it is again a legit concern that’s needs more attention. Everything wants to point fingers for bringing it up but at least someone did.

When you write a diatribe and close it with Rant over..its all about you, no one else, nothing else.

When you refuse to engage in conversation beyond I'm right and your wrong, that is not debate that's a proclamation. 

No one needs me to defend them, but I'll support, and if that makes you feel attacked, then you've a tiny glimpse into how anyone you've labelled damaged felt reading your post.

Theres clearly no point trying to reason with you, you've a closed mind.. and to quote you.. (even if you deny it) admit it’s true. 

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, MzJax said:

When you write a diatribe and close it with Rant over..its all about you, no one else, nothing else.

When you refuse to engage in conversation beyond I'm right and your wrong, that is not debate that's a proclamation. 

No one needs me to defend them, but I'll support, and if that makes you feel attacked, then you've a tiny glimpse into how anyone you've labelled damaged felt reading your post.

Theres clearly no point trying to reason with you, you've a closed mind.. and to quote you.. (even if you deny it) admit it’s true. 

Lol this is not a “diatribe” or an attack. Again you’re throwing terms around and rewording things to fit your own view and hurt feelings on how I came off and not focusing on the actual issue that this is actually happening whether you like how I say it or not.

Instead of following your own advice, and debate” whether this is really happening or what should be done, you’re focusing on me and still judging. How can you debate with someone that gets triggered and responds everything out of emotion and feelings which clouds your reason?

Where is your argument or debate on the reality is this and what should be done??? ....

All this reads is that you’re triggered. You don’t like it. And ignoring the actual issue.
I haven’t refused anything. I’ve been responding this whole time. Not once judged any of you or pointed fingers. Again, speaking completely out of being triggered. Not once said anything of value to resolve the issue at hand. I don’t even see how anyone could debate with that.

[Mz****]

Just now, DaddioDom said:

Lol this is not a “diatribe” or an attack. Again you’re throwing terms around and rewording things to fit your own view and hurt feelings on how I came off and not focusing on the actual issue that this is actually happening whether you like how I say it or not.

Instead of following your own advice, and debate” whether this is really happening or what should be done, you’re focusing on me and still judging. How can you debate with someone that gets triggered and responds everything out of emotion and feelings which clouds your reason?

Where is your argument or debate on the reality is this and what should be done??? ....

All this reads is that you’re triggered. You don’t like it. And ignoring the actual issue.
I haven’t refused anything. I’ve been responding this whole time. Not once judged any of you or pointed fingers. Again, speaking completely out of being triggered. Not once said anything of value to resolve the issue at hand. I don’t even see how anyone could debate with that.

 

[Deleted Member]

This is from Google “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - A disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event.
The condition may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions.”

Don’t have to have a doctorate to understand. You probably need one to treat people however. This isn’t me “labeling” anyone damaged. These people have ADMITTED they’ve been damaged and are unable to live and enjoy a normal life and relationships after the fact.

Instead of responding out of frustration because you’re triggered and don’t like anyone pointing any fingers of any kind. How about come up with a solution on how to help these people who cry out for help.

I’m totally not against people coming here to vent or express themselves or share their experiences. They have. And anyone can see what they’ve been going through. That’s not wrong. I’d like them to see the light and come to a closure for their inner issues. I don’t see you talking about this. Except just condescending pointing fingers at how I said things. Put your feelings aside and pay attention to what’s important. These victims not only need help but I’d like to see ways this can be prevented and people enjoy a more safe BDSM experience.

[Mz****]

Again, you're assuming and presuming. I'm not triggered by this thread, and certainly not by you, or your passive aggression or insults.

I use the terms I know because of my career, I don't profess to be any sort of psychology student like you, but I did spend 30 years as a Psychiatric nurse, and since you ask, 10+ years volunteering at a Domestic *** charity..so I know how Every Single experience is different, that each person who is ***d has had a different form or type of ***, that each is affected differently, that there is no easy solution..and I also know that shouting at victims, telling them to wake up and smell the coffee, not listening to what they say, belittling their opinions, telling them they get what they deserve, complaining that they speak up, gaslighting, labelling them, telling them what to do, not respecting boundaries..are all classic signs of an ***r.