What is it with you girls and messed up in the head men/doms?

[Deleted Member]

Just now, DaddioDom said:

I have upset who? In typing a positive message and supporting her positive input? Ive already apologized for the way I "word things" since I dont know how else to word them, but attacking my character constantly, and contributing nothing but these kinds of comments also speaks volumes about the "man" YOU really are.... dont be so pointy with those fingers white knight. Cause when you point a finger at someone, you have a few pointing right back at you.... Like I said I can apologize for wording things a certain way but wont for my opinion. If that offends you then so be it. This needs to be mentioned more importantly then your feelings or you constant need to point fingers in every comment.

 

 

You are not the first to call me a "white knight" and you won't be the last, it's a badge I wear with pride. Where I'm from, the way I've been raised "white knighting" is a mans responsibility, especially when bullies are on the prowl, and that's what eventually started to happen.

 

You talk of pointy fingers and apologies. You have just finally apologised, literally just now and your op was full of pointy fingers was it not? 

 

I attacked your character only when you came in with the line "see this is how you contribute to a post like this" which is quite obviously a personal attack so i responded in kind, the White knight charging to the rescue. Reason? Because the woman you attacked was the very same one you triggered, upset and I'm not the type to read without a response when I can see obvious bullying. A powerful Dom as you claim to be on your profile would be able to word his posts correctly, would understand all the ins and outs of what "triggers" actually are and if you were as powerful as you claim, this thread wouldn't have gone the direction it has in the first place.

 

Yes you have finally apologised yet if you had done that earlier, rather that digging a deeper hole the thread could have taken another direction

Regards

White knight 😊

[Deleted Member]

On 2/5/2021 at 3:41 PM, Amberz said:

Curvykate, to be fair I didn't understand it when I learned about Domestic *** either. I had an actual teacher to answer my questions, who was a retired cop, its probably harder to understand learning through the web(from a novice) which is why I suggested earlier education. We had a whole semester talking about domestic ***, they even brought in a guest speaker and everything. I don't think DaddioDom's intentions are bad. Sometimes people just don't know how to walk in other peoples shoes. 

 

It is good that he brought up this topic, and honestly that things have been explained in more detail because it can help educate others as well who happen upon this thread, just a little anyways. I'd recommend getting a degree in criminal justice for the full course lol.

I appreciate your response. I agree with you. My intentions were not bad. It is a good thing to talk about these things and educate, though Im not a.. (novice)... Ive experienced my own trauma ive dealt with for years and have commented that. Thats cool you took criminal justice. I took psychology in school. One can can learn from anyone and everyone. Novice or not.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Primal*** said:

 

 

You are not the first to call me a "white knight" and you won't be the last, it's a badge I wear with pride. Where I'm from, the way I've been raised "white knighting" is a mans responsibility, especially when bullies are on the prowl, and that's what eventually started to happen.

 

You talk of pointy fingers and apologies. You have just finally apologised, literally just now and your op was full of pointy fingers was it not? 

 

I attacked your character only when you came in with the line "see this is how you contribute to a post like this" which is quite obviously a personal attack so i responded in kind, the White knight charging to the rescue. Reason? Because the woman you attacked was the very same one you triggered, upset and I'm not the type to read without a response when I can see obvious bullying. A powerful Dom as you claim to be on your profile would be able to word his posts correctly, would understand all the ins and outs of what "triggers" actually are and if you were as powerful as you claim, this thread wouldn't have gone the direction it has in the first place.

 

Yes you have finally apologised yet if you had done that earlier, rather that digging a deeper hole the thread could have taken another direction

Regards

White knight 😊

Lol, white knights are the most dishonest. They back women even when they dont agree all for the hopes of sex, approval and validation. Never having the balls to say what they truly think, and always 'kissing ass' quite frankly. Great youre proud of that. I wouldnt be. but good for you.

That comment youre admitting youre attacking me on quote what I said again.... I completely agreed with her, complimented her response. Where in that comment do you see I attacked her? Never did. Never even attacked your character. I think that speaks volumes.... 

You somehow relate power to wording.... or being some kind of gentleman.... has nothing to do. Look at the responses I have gotten without even intending to offend or get so much out of it.... dont speak of things you know nothing about white knight. Continue to be a good boy and if you dont like or dont agree you can leave. Because now you are getting me into this childish little game of yourse of snarky back and forth comments.

Grow up.

That comment youre pointing out, I was legitemately agreeing with her, and back what I said, it was a great comment. That IS how you should debate and add to the discussion. No attacks at all whatsoever in there. Not at all comments like yours.

 

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, DaddioDom said:

Lol, white knights are the most dishonest. They back women even when they dont agree all for the hopes of sex, approval and validation. Never having the balls to say what they truly think, and always 'kissing ass' quite frankly. Great youre proud of that. I wouldnt be. but good for you.

I apologized for how I said things, not what I said, because people were starting to get too triggered and not even seeing past to what was actually intended. I did not intend to offend anyone either. but at some point you cant be curbing everything you say just cause it offends someone. It just became too much of an issue and im at least man enough to apologize for that, unlike you..

That comment youre admitting youre attacking me on quote what I said again.... I completely agreed with her, complimented her response. Where in that comment do you see I attacked her? Never did. Never even attacked your character. I think that speaks volumes.... 

You somehow relate power to wording.... or being some kind of gentleman.... has nothing to do. Look at the responses I have gotten without even intending to offend or get so much out of it.... dont speak of things you know nothing about white knight. Continue to be a good boy and if you dont like or dont agree you can leave. Because now you are getting me into this childish little game of yours of snarky back and forth comments.

Grow up.

That comment youre pointing out, I was legitemately agreeing with her, and back what I said, it was a great comment. That IS how you should debate and add to the discussion. Educating people. No attacks at all whatsoever in there. Not at all comments like yours.

 

 

Edited February 8, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, DaddioDom said:

Lol, white knights are the most dishonest. They back women even when they dont agree all for the hopes of sex, approval and validation. Never having the balls to say what they truly think, and always 'kissing ass' quite frankly. Great youre proud of that. I wouldnt be. but good for you.

That comment youre admitting youre attacking me on quote what I said again.... I completely agreed with her, complimented her response. Where in that comment do you see I attacked her? Never did. Never even attacked your character. I think that speaks volumes.... 

You somehow relate power to wording.... or being some kind of gentleman.... has nothing to do. Look at the responses I have gotten without even intending to offend or get so much out of it.... dont speak of things you know nothing about white knight. Continue to be a good boy and if you dont like or dont agree you can leave. Because now you are getting me into this childish little game of yourse of snarky back and forth comments.

Grow up.

That comment youre pointing out, I was legitemately agreeing with her, and back what I said, it was a great comment. That IS how you should debate and add to the discussion. No attacks at all whatsoever in there. Not at all comments like yours.

 

A response to that post is not needed. Your words say everythingn and anyone with half a brain who chooses to follow the thread, can I think see that 😁😁

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

A response to that post is not needed. Your words say everythingn and anyone with half a brain who chooses to follow the thread, can I think see that 😁😁

See what? go ahead you have much to say no? Do I make such direct personal attacks on people here such as you...? Yea I know they can see, they can also see how a 50 yr old man responds in such a negative manner to me, but supports only womens comments even when they misinterpreted what i meant.... that speaks volumes.... and STILL what have you contributed thus far....? I dont speak on things I know nothing about like you just have. Matter fact why am I even paying mind to you lol

Edited February 8, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

10 minutes ago, DaddioDom said:

See what? go ahead you have much to say no? Do I make such direct personal attacks on people here such as you...? Yea I know they can see, they can also see how a 50 yr old man responds in such a negative manner to me, but supports only womens comments even when they were mistaken on what i meant.... that speaks volumes.... and STILL what have you contributed thus far....? Matter fact why am I even paying mind to you. 

Yawn, your boring me. Id be staying off the sauce if I were you.

Edited February 8, 2021 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[Deleted Member]

Eventhough there have been some saying this was good i brought it up and made this post I am on the verge of just deleting it if its generating more negative comments than good. cause then whats the point.

[Carnelian2]

@DaddioDom Your comment in one of the earlier responses this morning said "On the point about "victim blaming" even with victims, as much as I sympathize, its comes to a point when one has to face their trauma  to come to terms with it, or always be haunted by it" - As much as the words are true, it does come across as though you do not understand the nature of depression and trauma.
People who experience it many times will not wish to confront it until they are ready to to so. Some never reach that stage. So to paraphrase what you said into "get over it" is harsh and does not convey much understanding of the people affected.

I do not suffer from depression, but I have family members that do. It was not until I had a series of traumatic experiences, resulting in periodic depression that I understood a little better what it must be like.
But even then, I do not at all profess to understand it - I can relate somewhat and that is it.
It is definitely not a question of "just getting over it".

[Deleted Member]

Even though the member is gone, I still want to reply to this because I strongly believe he is not the only one with these opinions and misunderstandings. I'd also like to say, Daddiodom, that I was calling myself a novice in regards to my education- not you. Another thing- My dad often told me, if everyone around you is wrong- Its not them, its you. This saying may not always be true, but often times I find it is- in my life anyways. 

 

In my opinion, as always-

 

The first answer is that human beings are ultimately flawed. 

 

Pointing out to a drug user that *** are bad is not going to help them. They know *** are bad, they don't want to be addicted to them and all of the other negative things that *** are associated with. More than likely, they want to quit doing ***- they just don't know how to make themselves quit. 

 

Though *** is a far more complex subject, because it can be argued that it doesn't have the physical addictive qualities of ***, the result is the same. The person being ***d often knows that the *** is wrong, they don't want to continue being ***d, but often they don't know how to break the cycle on their own. Or they have some *** that allows it to continue happening.

 

Yes, a victim will sometimes need to face their trauma. As I said earlier though, if you or anyone else would actually like to help victims of domestic ***- go, get an education relating to it and pursue a career in that field. In my opinion, that is the main way that you can help a victim, especially when you don't understand what makes people engage in such bad habits, or allow such bad things to happen to themselves. 

 

The other way would be to sit back, listen and be a friend to those who have went through domestic ***. Knowing that you may not relate or really understand, but offering kind words and sympathy and showing a fellow human being that they are not alone can go a long way in helping to boost their moral, which may be all thats needed for them to seek actual professional help. I think that feeling isolated is another cause as to why people stay in abusive relationships.

 

As to a victim taking some blame in their ***. It is not always true, but I admit there are some cases where it may apply. However, you can state that a person who got into a car wreck- even when it was not their fault, takes some blame in the *** that happened to them. As human beings we know there are lots of wrecks every year, yet we willingly climb into a car. To go up to a hospital patient, and tell them "Well, you knew this was a risk when you climbed into the car." is completely inappropriate behavior. It doesn't matter if, indirectly they were at fault for their own wreck. As a society we understand that we willingly take the risk every day to climb into a vehicle, and thus- we do not blame a victim unless they willfully or negligently caused a wreck. 

 

Even people who drive beat up vehicles. We know, that a vehicle that overheats, has bad tires, all of these things make driving more dangerous. But we also understand, that some people can not afford nice vehicles. Its the nature of society. So, even if their tire blows and they wreck into another vehicle- As a society, most people would not blame them for the wreck. They could not help it, they needed to go to work, they needed to provide for themselves- and the vehicle they have is the only way to do that. 

 

Similarly people have back stories, they have baggage, they have faults that might make them more inclined to get into an abusive relationship. However, they are not hoping when they climb into the relationship, that it will wreck. Just as someone with a beater vehicle, doesn't climb into their rust bucket of a vehicle, going "Gee, I hope the crack in my windshield finally causes it to break, slicing my face in the process." 

 

Most often victims of *** are also victims of circumstances, victims of their limited life experiences, victims of naivety, and victims to their feelings. 

 

My vehicle caught fire one time. When I was younger. It was a beater. I was lucky to be alive, and lucky not to wreck. When I finally saved up *** to purchase another vehicle, it was also a beater. Just because I went back to another terrible vehicle, doesn't mean I wanted to die in a car crash. It meant that with the resources available to me, this was the best I could do. I think relationships are the same, the difference being that the "resources" are more about life experience and less about ***.

So, thats my opinion and comparison that might help- its not perfect, but maybe its more relatable to put it in terms of a vehicle. Our bodies are a different kind of vehicle anyways lol.

 

 

I am going to copy/paste my earlier message about the cycle of *** below; 

"

There is a thing called a cycle of ***. 

 

1. The honeymoon phase. 

2. Tension

3. The incident. 

And it cycles back to the honey moon phase. 

 

Imagine giving something living a treat. You feed it lots of treats in the beginning. Then you ignore the thing, only occasionally giving it treats. Then you use *** against the thing. Immediately after, you give lots and lots of treats, promising never to use *** again. The cycle repeats and repeats. 

 

There is a reason in the USA that there is mandatory arrest laws for domestic *** incidents, and why victims don't have a say if their ***r gets prosecuted.

 

If it were really the victims fault, the law wouldn't go so far to protect them.

 

 

 

 

Other reasons that some people continue to go back to their ***r; 

1. *** of loosing custody. 

2. Finances. 

3. Religion, culture, not believing in divorce, etc

4. Blame themselves for the incident. 

5. *** of death.

6. She loves him, believes in change.

7. Family does not believe, or even approves of *** going on.

 

 

 

 

There are so many pages, upon pages, upon pages, upon pages, did I mention.. upon pages? Of information as to why people continue to go back to domestic ***. The fact that its in the bdsm world doesn't change many of the same factors. It actually probably adds an element of secret to it that makes people less likely to come forward, but that last part is just my guess."

 

 

[Ar****]

4 hours ago, DaddioDom said:

Noone just slips into a toxic relationship by accident without any consent at all.

Dear Gods... 😳😳😲😲🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, DaddioDom said:

I have not bludgeoned anyones opinions. Actually whos have I "bludgeoned" ??? As if Im erasing their comments or saying no their wrong for thinking what they did or said. Most of this time I have been trying to reiterate what I said. I havent attacked anyones character as I have endured on here. So i dont think that crude comment was fair.

Also sharing what Ive seen in my experiences and posing the questions I fail to see how is 'mansplaining'

If I say "no youre wrong, this is what it is because im a man and i am right!" sure, but I said nothing like that and  i think you completely read everything wrong if thats what you get. 




 

And there he was ... gone. 

[Carnelian2]

2 hours ago, Lockfairy said:

And there he was ... gone. 

Like the scarlett pimpernel .. 

“They seek him here, they seek him there
They seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
That demned elusive Pimpernel”

[Deleted Member]

9 minutes ago, Carnelian2 said:

Like the scarlett pimpernel .. 

“They seek him here, they seek him there
They seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
That demned elusive Pimpernel”

They’ll be a day-old Dom along shortly to defend our dearly departed and tell us how we wronged him.

[Deleted Member]

Friday at 02:07 PM, sonofthunder777 said:

1000%👍. For my whole life, I've heard women complain about asshole guys they're with, only to NEVER LEARN A DAMN THING & they always go back to those same asshole types. I almost think they secretly want it. Otherwise they'd learn from those bad experiences & start avoiding those guys like the damn plague. & Men can be like this with toxic women too. Some people just like crazy. Wheather they want to admit it or not, or wheather they even k ow it or not. But I 100% agree & I've always wondered why people simply don't learn. Idk🤷‍♂️

Oh hon, it’s far more complicated than that. If only life were so simple 😔

[Deleted Member]

Saturday at 01:48 PM, Curvykate said:

(My posts are often coming out blank, neither I nor anyone else has any idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️)

You’re very kind Lockfairy, but there have been times during this debate that I’ve felt unreasonable and emotion has affected my responses when perhaps it should not have. I have stepped away more than once and yet have still written too much, I feel. I’d be happy to start another thread, I had been giving it some thought as I feel people have more stories to tell and insights to share?

I’m still grateful for your input. You should never, in my opinion, feel unreasonable or ‘emotional’. Your responses are yours and based on how you feel. Never anything wrong with being real.

[Deleted Member]

16 hours ago, DaddioDom said:

Lol, white knights are the most dishonest. They back women even when they dont agree all for the hopes of sex, approval and validation. Never having the balls to say what they truly think, and always 'kissing ass' quite frankly. Great youre proud of that. I wouldnt be. but good for you.

That comment youre admitting youre attacking me on quote what I said again.... I completely agreed with her, complimented her response. Where in that comment do you see I attacked her? Never did. Never even attacked your character. I think that speaks volumes.... 

You somehow relate power to wording.... or being some kind of gentleman.... has nothing to do. Look at the responses I have gotten without even intending to offend or get so much out of it.... dont speak of things you know nothing about white knight. Continue to be a good boy and if you dont like or dont agree you can leave. Because now you are getting me into this childish little game of yourse of snarky back and forth comments.

Grow up.

That comment youre pointing out, I was legitemately agreeing with her, and back what I said, it was a great comment. That IS how you should debate and add to the discussion. No attacks at all whatsoever in there. Not at all comments like yours.

 

Oh dear, stop attacking. If you feel attacked, it really doesn’t help to attack others. Aren’t we all on the same team? Looking at the *** out there and how we can help people avoid it... what I’m seeing is more *** 😔