Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 Value. A young chap sent me a message recently, very polite he was. Said he'd seen my profile, felt it would be ok to approach directly, which it was. A simple question he had "where do you go for advice, help when needed." I recommended the usual, reading threads, creating them, chat rooms etc, but I felt the need to make a vital point. One that surprised me when I first saw the truth of it. You see, what I have found is there is so much value, knowledge and experience in the words of course of many, whichever skin you wear or creed you follow, but as a primal man it's the words of the ladies, the submissives that have hit home hardest. They are the words that possess the strongest pull, they directly affect me and the road I take. When I've dropped a clanger it's mainly been the ladies who have confronted me, and again that carries huge value, as these are the opposite side of my coin and teach me more about myself, than them. When I explained this to him how important it was to absorb what they say, he seemed a little surprised, thinking it should be the Dominants he watched and learned from. It would make him less to listen to those that are supposed to be "beneath" him. Your path is your choice I assured him but for me the opinion of that which I seek carries huge value, and I would be a fool to think otherwise. The opposite of whom one is, if that's what you seek, that's where I have found most value.
SammyB Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 I think this is very important piece of advice for anyone in the lifestyle particularly those starting out , over the last year a number of subs that I have met via the site have been told by Dominants they shouldn’t ask questions , they shouldn’t listen to other opinions and that they should only trust the word of the dominant they are engaging with I for one advocate reading , learning , digesting , pondering what sites comfortably With you I think there is so much value in conversation In attending the online munches In using the forums Someone who has questions isn’t challenging their Dominant or their experience in my experience they are trying to learn and understand There is a big difference between asking questions and questioning I see it as a sign a strength and not weakness
LanceH Posted February 12, 2021 Posted February 12, 2021 To me personally, if someone is trying to cut off your venues of getting a different opinion, it is a red flag. Don't be on the website, don't talk to people there, don't talk to friends and family....these are all bad behaviors. Now I could understand someone not wanting themselves being discussed, as they may have a life that may face difficulty if the personal things about themselves get out...but that is a different issue.
Deleted Member Posted February 13, 2021 Author Posted February 13, 2021 (edited) 23 hours ago, SammyB said: I think this is very important piece of advice for anyone in the lifestyle particularly those starting out , over the last year a number of subs that I have met via the site have been told by Dominants they shouldn’t ask questions , they shouldn’t listen to other opinions and that they should only trust the word of the dominant they are engaging with Not good is it, and then sadly the submissives may then think this is how it is. Another member used a word that stuck some time ago "onewayism" and that i think fits perfectly. Plus as we both know there are darker reasons why the "Doms" seek to do this, to isolate. We can all learn so much from each other, that's what I think he failed to see, as I did at one point. Many subs I know or at least am aware of, often speak complete sense, and carry much more knowledge than i do. Thats what i didnt want him to miss, or think was not "allowed", against protocol as it were 😊 Edited February 13, 2021 by Deleted Member Spelling
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