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What sort of men?

na****

By na****
in BDSM Forum

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Carnelian2

Carnelian2

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, Curvykate said:

I agree for some guys - but in my experience misogynistic assholes send the same messages. The only way you can tell the difference is if you challenge them. The immature, stupid ones will apologise but a misogynist will double down. “It was a compliment - you’re hot. Why are you taking offence” blah blah. The latter are malevolent women-hating assholes and will never change or learn.

I do like the way you express this. It seems with some types (of the male species), there is just no way to have a sensible dialogue so best to simply not engage.

SirPaul

SirPaul

Posted
Posted

This place is not a sanctuary for man haters. There are obviously women that I’m enjoy that kind of play. This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.
Instead using that to back your own prejudice, explain to him why what he said was inappropriate. That how you chance behaviour.

Wo****

Wo****

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

This place is not a sanctuary for man haters. There are obviously women that I’m enjoy that kind of play. This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.
Instead using that to back your own prejudice, explain to him why what he said was inappropriate. That how you chance behaviour.

Sorry but that is utter BS.

There are, unfortunately, a number of self entitled twats that project their insecurities and inadequacies onto us women. The assumption of submission and total disregard for consent.

 

The onus isn't on the OP to explain why such a message is inappropriate, it shouldn't need explaining. This is a kink positive site not a free for all dial a sub.

 

"Obviously new or badly informed" 😆😆😆😆

Even if that is the case it doesn't justify that sort of message.

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

This place is not a sanctuary for man haters. There are obviously women that I’m enjoy that kind of play. This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.
Instead using that to back your own prejudice, explain to him why what he said was inappropriate. That how you chance behaviour.

Excuse me? Who is a man hater for calling out this kind of behaviour? I call BS.

ey****

ey****

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

This place is not a sanctuary for man haters. There are obviously women that I’m enjoy that kind of play. This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.
Instead using that to back your own prejudice, explain to him why what he said was inappropriate. That how you chance behaviour.

It's not about hating men. It's about hating bad behaviour.

And; nobody is owed someone's time, especially from a stranger who they've just upset, to explain why what they've done is wrong.  Ignorance doesn't constitute to defence.  But, perhaps the sender (or others) can use threads like this to learn what is/isn't appropriate behaviour.  

Expecting someone who has just been upset, to take the time to give more attention to someone is the epitome of entitlement. It also doesn't help growth; because the sender then realises he gets attention by sending inappropriate messages.  

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Carnelian2 said:

I do like the way you express this. It seems with some types (of the male species), there is just no way to have a sensible dialogue so best to simply not engage.

Thank you, Carnelian. That very kind of you. I’d much rather spend my time engaging with the plenty of others on this site who have such interesting perspectives.

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

This place is not a sanctuary for man haters. There are obviously women that I’m enjoy that kind of play. This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.
Instead using that to back your own prejudice, explain to him why what he said was inappropriate. That how you chance behaviour.

Yes there are some  women who enjoy that type of play.

Once you get to know them, once you have consent, once YOU know they are comfortable, once it's obvious it pushes their buttons. To reply is to open a door, report, block and move on. At least then you straight away have the truth of the sender, so no need to waste anymore time with "men" like that.

Edited by Deleted Member
Better choice of words

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Primal*** said:

Yes there are some  women who enjoy that type of play.

Once you get to know them, once you have consent, once YOU know they are comfortable, once it's obvious it pushes their buttons. To reply is to open a door, report, block and move on. At least then you straight away have the truth of the sender, so no need to waste anymore time with "men" like that.

Thank you for saying that. I was a bit cross at being called a man hater.

SirPaul

SirPaul

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

It's not about hating men. It's about hating bad behaviour.

And; nobody is owed someone's time, especially from a stranger who they've just upset, to explain why what they've done is wrong.  Ignorance doesn't constitute to defence.  But, perhaps the sender (or others) can use threads like this to learn what is/isn't appropriate behaviour.  

Expecting someone who has just been upset, to take the time to give more attention to someone is the epitome of entitlement. It also doesn't help growth; because the sender then realises he gets attention by sending inappropriate messages.  

How do you know this person has an entitled attitude. If you ask me you do when you say things like nobody is owned anyone’s time. This person wasn’t demanding such, and neither was I. I poninting out the *** bias at play here.

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted (edited)
16 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

I call Unconcious bias

I think you will find I am very consciously biased against entitled tossers who send messages like that to a 22yo woman, leaving her in tears. You are showing your true colours to every person who reads this thread.

Edited by Deleted Member
SammyB

SammyB

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

Yes there are some  women who enjoy that type of play.

Once you get to know them, once you have consent, once YOU know they are comfortable, once it's obvious it pushes their buttons. To reply is to open a door, report, block and move on. At least then you straight away have the truth of the sender, so no need to waste anymore time with "men" like that.

I think you have nailed this on the head 

yes there are subs who like this form of interactions BUT Consent is vital 

 It’s a bit like walking up to someone in a bar and whispering it someone’s ear .... it’s not appropriate 

SirPaul

SirPaul

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I think you will find I am very consciously biased against entitled tossers who send messages like that to a 22yo woman, leaving her in tears. You are showing your true colours to every person who reads this thread.

You didn’t read my first post did you? It shows your bias.

na****

na****

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks to some great advice from some amazing people who took the time to listen and hear my feelings, they helped me to see things from a whole new angle. Perhaps it is my age and lack of life experiences but these lessons were needed to help me better understand how some people see the world.

1, This man showed his true character up front. He didn’t start all nice hiding his evil mind and intentions. By replying to him (I didn’t) I would have been helping him to change his approach towards women and further encouraging him to hide his true colours. This would have been disastrous to his next victim.

2, Having had filters in place to stop those sorts of messages, I must have limited the numbers of men like him getting to me. I will never know how many but should feel blessed I haven’t had floods more based on the number of females who have received so many.

3, His actions may have been his kink and there may be women who would have welcomed that message. However, he should have started the conversation as a human and not a pig in order to identify if his kink was in line with me and mine.

4, He will not be the last and I do have to grow a thicker skin. Shouldn’t have to but that’s just life, I have to live with it. I can do the very best next thing and continue to report and block those that over step common decency. Yes, it’s a Kink site and we are all meant to be adults here. So when silly boys turn up, we have to see them for what they are and move on.

Again, I would like to thank everyone who has been supportive and helpful. Its been both eye opening and informative.

Ow and I’m not a man hater, just a hater of silly brainless rude boys . Lol x

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

You didn’t read my first post did you? It shows your bias.

I did. I responded to it. Your point?

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, naughtything said:

 

Back of the net 😊.

Si****

Si****

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, SirPaul said:

This place is not a sanctuary for man haters. There are obviously women that I’m enjoy that kind of play. This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.
Instead using that to back your own prejudice, explain to him why what he said was inappropriate. That how you chance behaviour.

Your right, its not a sanctuary for... but thats where you slipped up a little bit. perhaps you could have said "its not a sanctuary for anyone without respect or hunamity to others. Lets not single out any demographic, its bad form.

Si****

Si****

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

Back of the net 😊.

fishnets??? lol x

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, SirGreen said:

fishnets??? lol x

I bet Primal could do a mean Frank n Furter. 😁

Deleted Member

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I bet Primal could do a mean Frank n Furter. 😁

Many a true word is spoken in jest 😉

Si****

Si****

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I bet Primal could do a mean Frank n Furter. 😁

ow Rocky!

 

ey****

ey****

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, SirPaul said:

How do you know this person has an entitled attitude. If you ask me you do when you say things like nobody is owned anyone’s time. This person wasn’t demanding such, and neither was I. I poninting out the *** bias at play here.

The person might not.

But when you suggested "explain to him why what he said was inappropriate" that is an example of entitlement.  

You're ignoring your own unconcious bias. 

SammyB

SammyB

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, SirGreen said:

ow Rocky!

 

Great idea for the photo competition 

sx 

Si****

Si****

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, SammyB said:

Great idea for the photo competition 

sx 

only if the ladies dress as Riff Raff lol

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