What sort of men?

[Muffdiver21]

So sorry 2 hear that.its easyer said than done but try not let him get 2 u.hes not worth it.thiers nothing  worse when something like that happens x

[SammyB]

Im sure there could possibly be a few who might take you up on that challenge 

[SirPaul]

3 hours ago, Primal*** said:

Yes there are some  women who enjoy that type of play.

Once you get to know them, once you have consent, once YOU know they are comfortable, once it's obvious it pushes their buttons. To reply is to open a door, report, block and move on. At least then you straight away have the truth of the sender, so no need to waste anymore time with "men" like that.

You haven’t bother to read the whole post have you?

[SirPaul]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

The person might not.

But when you suggested "explain to him why what he said was inappropriate" that is an example of entitlement.  

You're ignoring your own unconcious bias. 

Then don’t explain. Is tour choice. Let him be ignorant and keep on saying those things. Whatever!

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

You haven’t bother to read the whole post have you?

Actually I have and I've been mulling over what you said.

 

What you seem to be Insinuating is that it is a submissives duty to reply to these vile messages, and educate these blatant, entitled fools who infest sites lile this. You seem to insinuate that not replying is somehow not educational for the bellend who first approached this young lady in such a way and what I hear is "how is he to learn, unless showed the error of his ways" that's what I get from it.

 

Firstly one who claims to be Dom should not need his hand holding by a young submissive in basic human decency. Let's forget kink for now shall we and talk just as "normal" people. If anyone did that to my Ma or *** on the street I would level them, no hesitation, so why should it be different here.? Would you say the same if it were your daughter or your *** who was approached like that? Be it here, on the street or in a bar? No i don't think you would and blokes who do things like that are not even men, never mind Doms. They are weaklings, trapped in a mind that they feel entitles them to behave how they like. They should need no lessons from a submissive on how to behave, this is taught in the home by parents. Your argument lacks credibility and as Eyemblacksheep clearly pointed out in his reply the education comes from threads like this, not in destroying a young girl as he may feel it's his "right" to do that. Don't make me laugh pal,  your argument holds no weight with me. All should be approached politely and with respect, as if it's a girl on the street, simple as that and the fact you seem unable to grasp the truth of that in itself is half the problem.

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, SirPaul said:

 This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.

I agree with that, yet her I still refer to my common basic human decency angle. If you don't have that within then you are a danger and shouldn't be here, a boy trying to be a man who feels the rules have changed, when in fact those basic rules are much more important here.

Edited February 18, 2021 by Deleted Member
Better choice of words

[li****]

I shouldn't have to message men back and have them explain to me why they said things to me in an opening message such things like " when will you let me hold you down and fuck your tight arse" or " let me gag you till you *** on my cock" I for one shouldn't have to ask that so called dickhead why he's decided to send me a message like that when he clearly hasn't read my profile or had any respect at all. Why should I have to teach him how to talk to women 🤦‍♀️I think it should be common sense with how you gage with people whether its on a kink site or not!!!! 

[li****]

7 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

Actually I have and I've been mulling over what you said.

 

What you seem to be Insinuating is that it is a submissives duty to reply to these vile messages, and educate these blatant, entitled fools who infest sites lile this. You seem to insinuate that not replying is somehow not educational for the bellend who first approached this young lady in such a way and what I hear is "how is he to learn, unless showed the error of his ways" that's what I get from it.

 

Firstly one who claims to be Dom should not need his hand holding by a young submissive in basic human decency. Let's forget kink for now shall we and talk just as "normal" people. If anyone did that to my Ma or *** on the street I would level them, no hesitation, so why should it be different here.? Would you say the same if it were your daughter or your *** who was approached like that? Be it here, on the street or in a bar? No i don't think you would and blokes who do things like that are not even men, never mind Doms. They are weaklings, trapped in a mind that they feel entitles them to behave how they like. They should need no lessons from a submissive on how to behave, this is taught in the home by parents. Your argument lacks credibility and as Eyemblacksheep clearly pointed out in his reply the education comes from threads like this, not in destroying a young girl as he may feel it's his "right" to do that. Don't make me laugh pal,  your argument holds no weight with me. All should be approached politely and with respect, as if it's a girl on the street, simple as that and the fact you seem unable to grasp the truth of that in itself is half the problem.

👏👏 Well said!!!!!!

[ey****]

16 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Then don’t explain. Is tour choice. Let him be ignorant and keep on saying those things. Whatever!

Your proposal is to reward bad behaviour. That's assbackwards.

There are countless resources exist on the whole web where people can google for advice on how to approach people on websites.  They can even add in their own common decency and common courtesy.  But they don't bother.  They've already demonstrated they are not yet willing to learn by jumping straight into a message without doing any form of basic sanity check of "is this message I'm sending even appropriate"

Their interest is simply getting their dick wet.

Am I bias?  I'm experienced.  Because if you're interested in learning you do that first.  If you sign up for a website and start messaging people within the hour your interest is in getting quick results.    Is that a bad thing?  Not necessarily. But, it demonstrates a lack of interest in learning.

So. Let us assume this was just a rookie mistake.  Most of us have made mistakes at some point.  Part of his learning has to be he is not going to get the interactions he wants if he is a jerk.

One of two things are then going to happen

He is either going to learn and return better prepared.

Or he's not going to learn and is eventually either going to give up or get banned from multiple platforms after person after person hits the report button.

So.  Let's just say - someone sends this type of message and then upsets the recipient, a few days later she decides that she will reply to him and say this wasn't appropriate and that he won't get the results he wants.  I'm not sure why she is taking up time on someone who is upsetting her; but let's humour it.

He might apologise - and the two move on.  Or, he may well get aggressive ("you shouldn't be on a dating site if you don't want this type of message") causing further upset because someone tried to be helpful!  

Let's say he does apologise and moves on.  And he starts to approach people respectfully, but still just doesn't really get the responses he wants. He's already learnt that sending an inappropriate message, in this scenario, will get attention - so he goes back to trying that.

 

So NO.  It is completely fucking backwards.  There is no logical reason for someone to return to some jumped up prick with politeness.  The concept of a woman owing politeness, despite being upset - is the absolute pinnacle of entitlement for fucks sake. 

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, lil-monster said:

I shouldn't have to message men back and have them explain to me why they said things to me in an opening message such things like " when will you let me hold you down and fuck your tight arse" or " let me gag you till you *** on my cock" I for one shouldn't have to ask that so called dickhead why he's decided to send me a message like that when he clearly hasn't read my profile or had any respect at all. Why should I have to teach him how to talk to women 🤦‍♀️I think it should be common sense with how you gage with people whether its on a kink site or not!!!! 

LilM, are you able to message me? I can’t message you. 🧐

[Deleted Member]

21 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Your proposal is to reward bad behaviour. That's assbackwards.

There are countless resources exist on the whole web where people can google for advice on how to approach people on websites.  They can even add in their own common decency and common courtesy.  But they don't bother.  They've already demonstrated they are not yet willing to learn by jumping straight into a message without doing any form of basic sanity check of "is this message I'm sending even appropriate"

Their interest is simply getting their dick wet.

Am I bias?  I'm experienced.  Because if you're interested in learning you do that first.  If you sign up for a website and start messaging people within the hour your interest is in getting quick results.    Is that a bad thing?  Not necessarily. But, it demonstrates a lack of interest in learning.

So. Let us assume this was just a rookie mistake.  Most of us have made mistakes at some point.  Part of his learning has to be he is not going to get the interactions he wants if he is a jerk.

One of two things are then going to happen

He is either going to learn and return better prepared.

Or he's not going to learn and is eventually either going to give up or get banned from multiple platforms after person after person hits the report button.

So.  Let's just say - someone sends this type of message and then upsets the recipient, a few days later she decides that she will reply to him and say this wasn't appropriate and that he won't get the results he wants.  I'm not sure why she is taking up time on someone who is upsetting her; but let's humour it.

He might apologise - and the two move on.  Or, he may well get aggressive ("you shouldn't be on a dating site if you don't want this type of message") causing further upset because someone tried to be helpful!  

Let's say he does apologise and moves on.  And he starts to approach people respectfully, but still just doesn't really get the responses he wants. He's already learnt that sending an inappropriate message, in this scenario, will get attention - so he goes back to trying that.

 

So NO.  It is completely fucking backwards.  There is no logical reason for someone to return to some jumped up prick with politeness.  The concept of a woman owing politeness, despite being upset - is the absolute pinnacle of entitlement for fucks sake. 

I’m sure you’re just as shocked as the rest of us that SirP hasn’t returned. 🙂

[Mz****]

52 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I’m sure you’re just as shocked as the rest of us that SirP hasn’t returned. 🙂

Did he remind you of someone else who left rather suddenly recently? I've been wondering if it was just another puppet troll returning to stir up more drama 🤔

[Carnelian2]

On 2/18/2021 at 10:45 AM, SirPaul said:

This persons mistake is that they are not separating play speak with normal conversation. They are obviously new or badly informed.
Instead using that to back your own prejudice, explain to him why what he said was inappropriate. That how you chance behaviour.

Well, first of all, I would not appreciate any female opening a conversation with details of all the things they would like to do with or to me, so why would a woman be expected to accept that from a man, regardless of the setting?

Secondly, I like to use the example of a supermarket queue - if you wouldn't say it there ,why would you think it acceptable on-line?

Third, manners - as others have said - manners are not learnt online. It should come from one's upbringing.
If not, plenty of books and internet posts on internet etiquette. There are certain things you can do face-to-face, which you cannot do online as you cannot see and judge the reaction of the other person. Common sense really.

[Bo****]

Yesterday at 05:06 AM, naughtything said:

Thanks to some great advice from some amazing people who took the time to listen and hear my feelings, they helped me to see things from a whole new angle. Perhaps it is my age and lack of life experiences but these lessons were needed to help me better understand how some people see the world.

1, This man showed his true character up front. He didn’t start all nice hiding his evil mind and intentions. By replying to him (I didn’t) I would have been helping him to change his approach towards women and further encouraging him to hide his true colours. This would have been disastrous to his next victim.

2, Having had filters in place to stop those sorts of messages, I must have limited the numbers of men like him getting to me. I will never know how many but should feel blessed I haven’t had floods more based on the number of females who have received so many.

3, His actions may have been his kink and there may be women who would have welcomed that message. However, he should have started the conversation as a human and not a pig in order to identify if his kink was in line with me and mine.

4, He will not be the last and I do have to grow a thicker skin. Shouldn’t have to but that’s just life, I have to live with it. I can do the very best next thing and continue to report and block those that over step common decency. Yes, it’s a Kink site and we are all meant to be adults here. So when silly boys turn up, we have to see them for what they are and move on.

Again, I would like to thank everyone who has been supportive and helpful. Its been both eye opening and informative.

Ow and I’m not a man hater, just a hater of silly brainless rude boys . Lol x

Naughtything, I just want to call out what a badass you are. I imagine you are going to have an amazing time here with us. Looking forward to future conversations. 😘

[Deleted Member]

47 minutes ago, MzJax said:

Did he remind you of someone else who left rather suddenly recently? I've been wondering if it was just another puppet troll returning to stir up more drama 🤔

He did. But this particularly person has been here a year.

[SirPaul]

1 hour ago, Carnelian2 said:

Well, first of all, I would not appreciate any female opening a conversation with details of all the things they would like to do with or to me, so why would a woman be expected to accept that from a man, regardless of the setting?

Secondly, I like to use the example of a supermarket queue - if you wouldn't say it there ,why would you think it acceptable on-line?

Third, manners - as others have said - manners are not learnt online. It should come from one's upbringing.
If not, plenty of books and internet posts on internet etiquette. There are certain things you can do face-to-face, which you cannot do online as you cannot see and judge the reaction of the other person. Common sense really.

Sigh! I’m not saying what he did was acceptable, I’m saying all you morons shouldn’t assume he’s really like that, ans that he’ll keep on making the mistake until you all stop making yourselves feel better by your self-righteous outrage, and actually explain to him the reasons why it’s inappropriate. Massive sigh!!!

[Carnelian2]

6 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Sigh! I’m not saying what he did was acceptable, I’m saying all you morons shouldn’t assume he’s really like that, ans that he’ll keep on making the mistake until you all stop making yourselves feel better by your self-righteous outrage, and actually explain to him the reasons why it’s inappropriate. Massive sigh!!!

wow!
I think what people were trying to explain to you was that it is not for the recipient to explain to the sender of inappropriate messages why those are inappropriate. The sender should know that beforehand and know not to send it in the first place.
It really is not that difficult! .. but i suppose that is me being a self-righteous moron for pointing it out!

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Sigh! I’m not saying what he did was acceptable, I’m saying all you morons shouldn’t assume he’s really like that, ans that he’ll keep on making the mistake until you all stop making yourselves feel better by your self-righteous outrage, and actually explain to him the reasons why it’s inappropriate. Massive sigh!!!

Common human decency. It should not need explaining, end of. There is a big white  line, clear as day, some are blurred and a little difficult to spot, but the one he crossed was unmistakable and one we all know, society teaches it from a very young age. He made a conscious decision to step over it, knew it was there yet chose to ignore it. He needs no education, he needs no hand holding, he needs a slap. As you say all here are missing your point, it is you who miss the point, yes really.

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

 and actually explain to him the reasons why it’s inappropriate. Massive sigh!!!

Oh so now it's our responsibility to chase him down, play nice, and hold his hand through very basic protocol that applies in all walks of society? He knows what he did, he knows it was wrong, and thats the point you miss.

Edited February 19, 2021 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[Ar****]

I'm reminded of the splendid words, "Read the room, mate" 🤦‍♂️😂

[Deleted Member]

39 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Sigh! I’m not saying what he did was acceptable, I’m saying all you morons shouldn’t assume he’s really like that, ans that he’ll keep on making the mistake until you all stop making yourselves feel better by your self-righteous outrage, and actually explain to him the reasons why it’s inappropriate. Massive sigh!!!

Dear SirPaul
I have put so much emotional labour into explaining to guys like this why their behaviour is inappropriate. It's not just me. Other women, and a few good men (ones who are active on this thread) also put in this kind of labour. We get tired, you know. It's draining. I won't do it anymore. My only interest is in supporting people who are on the receiving end of it. 

The sad truth is that this guy was most likely putting on a heavy act - not being authentically himself. No one is born an absolute dickhead. So why did he learn along the way that this is what a woman wants in an opening message? I don't even know where we go from here to unravel shit like this. 

Can we just be human beings first and kinksters second? 

[Deleted Member]

53 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Sigh! I’m not saying what he did was acceptable, I’m saying all you morons shouldn’t assume he’s really like that, ans that he’ll keep on making the mistake until you all stop making yourselves feel better by your self-righteous outrage, and actually explain to him the reasons why it’s inappropriate. Massive sigh!!!

It must be so difficult being on this site surrounded by morons. Poor St Paul.

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

I'm reminded of the splendid words, "Read the room, mate" 🤦‍♂️😂

Had to sit on my hands, Aranhis!! 🤣🤣

[li****]

59 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Sigh! I’m not saying what he did was acceptable, I’m saying all you morons shouldn’t assume he’s really like that, ans that he’ll keep on making the mistake until you all stop making yourselves feel better by your self-righteous outrage, and actually explain to him the reasons why it’s inappropriate. Massive sigh!!!

🤦‍♀️ As I said before why should I have to explain to someone why and how his message was inappropriate when really common sense should tell him that anyway. Why is it up to anyone to educate someone on the ins and outs of how to message people correctly and with respect. I say it time and again on here that many think it's a sex site and woman are on here for one thing and one thing only, and think it's ok to send a vile disrespectful message!!! I always say would you let someone talk to any female member of your family or any of your female friends that way in real life that would be a no I would like to think, so why men think it's ok just cause it's a fetish site to open with vile messages to women/men on here it's not up to the person to educate these dickheads when it comes to these vile messages that we get on here.

 

5 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

It must be so difficult being on this site surrounded by morons. Poor St Paul.

Lmao 🤣 

Edited February 19, 2021 by lil-monster

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Had to sit on my hands, Aranhis!! 🤣🤣

😂😂😂😂