What sort of men?

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Mate! I don’t agree with you hat he’s done. But neither do I agree with linching him to make myself feel good about how bad a person this person may have been!

Your soloution to avoid the "lynching". 

I've never said you agree with what he's done, yet you defend his actions as naivety, inexperience. And then I again refer the the white lines, the ones we can all clearly see. Certain things need no education, when you knowingly cross that line, as I believe all like him do, then you deserve a strip tearing off, and that in itself is the education you talk of. 

[SirPaul]

7 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

Your soloution to avoid the "lynching". 

I've never said you agree with what he's done, yet you defend his actions as naivety, inexperience. And then I again refer the the white lines, the ones we can all clearly see. Certain things need no education, when you knowingly cross that line, as I believe all like him do, then you deserve a strip tearing off, and that in itself is the education you talk of. 

Oh excuse me exultant spelling master!
So you know what kind of site this is, and the acts and detached by its participants?

[Deleted Member]

10 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

Certain things need no education, when you knowingly cross that line, as I believe all like him do, then you deserve a strip tearing off, and that in itself is the education you talk of. 

Education is needed. But who out of us has the spoons to give it? If he came to this Forum he'd learn some things but he probably won't. Our focus might be better spent on educating new or young female kinksters about what to expect, as they're a bit easier to reach. Every woman is going to experience this kind of thing in a space like this at some point. 

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

Oh excuse me exultant spelling master!
So you know what kind of site this is, and the acts and detached by its participants?

And there is the entitlement. Thank you, that's all I have been pushing for. Right there you reveal the problem. "They are kinky so I can talk to them like a cunt" and it seems you share that view

[SirPaul]

8 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

And there is the entitlement. Thank you, that's all I have been pushing for. Right there you reveal the problem. "They are kinky so I can talk to them like a cunt" and it seems you share that view

That’s not what I said. Is it. What I said was that this person thought that that’s the way to approach people, because that’s what they do when they play. My whole point, which you have ignored and manipulated because you had to “win”, exulted spelling master, is that instead of assuming something, that ( if one wished to stop
It from happening again) to engage the person and explain why it was inappropriate.
But you go back to your tiny little life and feel that you won.

[FETMOD-GP]

Ok now I'm going to ask nicely that we stop with the personal attacks. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and we should all respect that not every one is going to agree!! So I'll say again if you don't play nicely then the topic will be locked thank you.

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

 What I said was that this person thought that that’s the way to approach people, because that’s what they do when they play. 

And what will they have before they play? Knowledge of the partner, consent etc which I said on my very first post. So surely to on a first message obviously not have consent, it would have to be  a very tame greeting

[Wo****]

1 minute ago, SirPaul said:

That’s not what I said. Is it. What I said was that this person thought that that’s the way to approach people, because that’s what they do when they play. My whole point, which you have ignored and manipulated because you had to “win”, exulted spelling master, is that instead of assuming something, that ( if one wished to stop
It from happening again) to engage the person and explain why it was inappropriate.
But you go back to your tiny little life and feel that you won.

Some people can't be educated though.

I've had quite a few messages like this and I actually do try and get them to think about their approach. Guess how many take notice? I can remember one.

 

Your earlier comments... "look at her sexual preferences".... are you saying he was justified because she might have those kinks? Do women who wear revealing clothing "ask for it"?

 

Just because this is a kink positive site, and it's based around sex doesn't mean basic decency goes out the window.

[Deleted Member]

20 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

That’s not what I said. Is it. What I said was that this person thought that that’s the way to approach people, because that’s what they do when they play. My whole point, which you have ignored and manipulated because you had to “win”, exulted spelling master, is that instead of assuming something, that ( if one wished to stop
It from happening again) to engage the person and explain why it was inappropriate.
But you go back to your tiny little life and feel that you won.

And yes that's exactly what you said. You insinuated that because it's a kink site the rules change. That for me makes not only him but you  feel "entitled" to some extent. 

 

Personal insults don't work in afraid, if anything along with the grin they bring to my face they encourage me 😁

Edited February 19, 2021 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[SirPaul]

4 minutes ago, Primal*** said:

And yes that's exactly what you said. You insinuated that because it's a kink site the rules change. That for me makes not only him but you to feel "entitled" to some extent. 

 

Personal insults don't work in afraid, if anything along with the grin they bring to my face they encourage me 😁

Good on you

[SirPaul]

23 minutes ago, Bounty said:

Some people can't be educated though.

I've had quite a few messages like this and I actually do try and get them to think about their approach. Guess how many take notice? I can remember one.

 

Your earlier comments... "look at her sexual preferences".... are you saying he was justified because she might have those kinks? Do women who wear revealing clothing "ask for it"?

 

Just because this is a kink positive site, and it's based around sex doesn't mean basic decency goes out the window.

Yep. That’s right. You are so right.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, SirPaul said:

You still assume he new his approach was wrong.

I feel this is circular, but...

Ignorance is no defence.  

For fucks sake.

You know what - YOU are actual living proof that you are wrong.  Because everyone is trying to explain to you why you are wrong and you're not fucking listening.

And so responding to someone who has caused upset and "doesn't know they're wrong" is likely to cause exactly the same type of circular discussion.   

How many people on this thread are trying to educate you and you're having none of it, so what hope does one person replying to a jumped up fucking arsehole have?

[Bo****]

@SirPaul What are you trying to accomplish at this point?

A whole bunch of people have continued to do what you advocated for -- they are repeatedly taking time to educate someone why there behavior (or in this case, your expectations) aren't in line with the community. And instead of saying, "hey, yeah, thanks, I get you," you've called them (us) morons.

So, first, can we savor the delicious irony that this is in fact a perfect example of why your suggestion was not well received by the community?

Secondly, what would you like to see happen at this point? Why are *you* spending more of *your* time arguing with us? What do you hope to accomplish? Genuine curiosity.

Edited February 19, 2021 by BoulderDom

[Ar****]

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I feel this is circular, but...

Ignorance is no defence.  

For fucks sake.

You know what - YOU are actual living proof that you are wrong.  Because everyone is trying to explain to you why you are wrong and you're not fucking listening.

And so responding to someone who has caused upset and "doesn't know they're wrong" is likely to cause exactly the same type of circular discussion.   

How many people on this thread are trying to educate you and you're having none of it, so what hope does one person replying to a jumped up fucking arsehole have?

You have just won the internet.

[Leisa]

@SirPaul I have read every single word that you have written. I think to teach educate someone on good manners you must first have them. Your posts today do not speak nor come off as educated nor educational. Instead it appears as if you’ve put yourself above everyone else who has responded to you and your posts/responses. When things did not go your way you labeled everyone else as morons...again not educational nor mannered.

Naughty through all the mud and garbage that was flung by one you got some great advice and outlooks in this thread. It will happen repeatedly. Unfortunately it’s par for the course. For every 25 mice, respectful messages you will receive one that is disrespecting. I have set my filters so high that no one can get through because I decided I’d rather only get messages from friends and those I’ve spoken to both in here and in the chats. It’s limiting in that chances are I am eliminating so many good people because of a few bad apples. Maybe one day I will lower my filters but I like the 200 word count filter. Someone wants to get to know me will know where I am at through my profile and not because of a photograph. You’re pretty so be prepared, you will get more along the same lines. Report and block but don’t give them daylight by responding. After the same person receives a certain number of reports they will be gone.

[SirPaul]

15 hours ago, RosebroomRoeshot said:

Education is needed. But who out of us has the spoons to give it? If he came to this Forum he'd learn some things but he probably won't. Our focus might be better spent on educating new or young female kinksters about what to expect, as they're a bit easier to reach. Every woman is going to experience this kind of thing in a space like this at some point. 

If that is what it will take for everyone to learn, then I’m on board with it.

[Si****]

I have both spoken with Naughtything (OP)and looked at the person who sent the message.

firstly, she is fairly new to kink and this site so no matter how you stand on the ‘she should educate this man’ she wouldn’t have been able to achieved this. She didn’t even try and she shouldn’t have to teach men to be human beings.

secondly, he was not a new member. So by now he should have learned something about how to behave. Good news is he has now been kicked out by the Mods. He is gone. People who can’t be nice and follow simple rules, accept responsibility for how the conduct themselves here will come to the attention of the Mods. The report function works and should be the way to deal with things. 
 

I think trying to teach nasty people how to hide their true colours is wrong. Just step back and let them out themselves for who they are. We can all form our own opinions on people based on the way they conduct themselves on the site. Foolish people don’t know they are foolish, that would require some  level of intelligence to recognise what is foolish. 
 

let’s try to stay nice in the comments. It’s a great subject and I’m sure all the comments will be of help to those that may need some help with this type of issue. Please be nice to each other so this chat doesn’t get closed by the mods. Agree to disagree, everyone’s opinions matter (even if they are wrong) 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, SirGreen said:

I have both spoken with Naughtything (OP)and looked at the person who sent the message.

firstly, she is fairly new to kink and this site so no matter how you stand on the ‘she should educate this man’ she wouldn’t have been able to achieved this. She didn’t even try and she shouldn’t have to teach men to be human beings.

secondly, he was not a new member. So by now he should have learned something about how to behave. Good news is he has now been kicked out by the Mods. He is gone. People who can’t be nice and follow simple rules, accept responsibility for how the conduct themselves here will come to the attention of the Mods. The report function works and should be the way to deal with things. 
 

I think trying to teach nasty people how to hide their true colours is wrong. Just step back and let them out themselves for who they are. We can all form our own opinions on people based on the way they conduct themselves on the site. Foolish people don’t know they are foolish, that would require some  level of intelligence to recognise what is foolish. 
 

let’s try to stay nice in the comments. It’s a great subject and I’m sure all the comments will be of help to those that may need some help with this type of issue. Please be nice to each other so this chat doesn’t get closed by the mods. Agree to disagree, everyone’s opinions matter (even if they are wrong) 

I’ve asked for my unpleasant comment to be deleted. You’re right.

[Leisa]

6 hours ago, SirGreen said:

I have both spoken with Naughtything (OP)and looked at the person who sent the message.

firstly, she is fairly new to kink and this site so no matter how you stand on the ‘she should educate this man’ she wouldn’t have been able to achieved this. She didn’t even try and she shouldn’t have to teach men to be human beings.

secondly, he was not a new member. So by now he should have learned something about how to behave. Good news is he has now been kicked out by the Mods. He is gone. People who can’t be nice and follow simple rules, accept responsibility for how the conduct themselves here will come to the attention of the Mods. The report function works and should be the way to deal with things. 
 

I think trying to teach nasty people how to hide their true colours is wrong. Just step back and let them out themselves for who they are. We can all form our own opinions on people based on the way they conduct themselves on the site. Foolish people don’t know they are foolish, that would require some  level of intelligence to recognise what is foolish. 
 

let’s try to stay nice in the comments. It’s a great subject and I’m sure all the comments will be of help to those that may need some help with this type of issue. Please be nice to each other so this chat doesn’t get closed by the mods. Agree to disagree, everyone’s opinions matter (even if they are wrong) 

As usual your common sense and well thought out words resonate. You are one of a kind.

[SirPaul]

@SirGreen thanks for putting a line under this. For the record, however, I never said ‘she should educate this man’ what I said was the only way to stop this is to educate these people.

[ey****]

45 minutes ago, SirPaul said:

the only way to stop this is to educate these people.

I do agree.

But, the info is there.  The resources are available for people who want to learn.  There are a LOT of people who write, be it articles. Blogs. Forum Posts.

It's all education.

What you cannot do is *** someone to read.  And that, unfortunately, is the problem.  

[Deleted Member]

Not the worst I’ve had. Hard to hear but you are strong and have the support of so many. You’ve had the best advice already but I’m here if you need xo