Consent .

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Bounty said:

None so blind as those that cannot see.

 

So... consent... 

On going, enthusiastic consent is irrelevant legally. Impact play is illegal. 

 

Part of me understands why, to protect the ***, the coerced but it's a very grey area hence RACK.

Indeed, back to the topic.

 

Here is a source for the UK on where we stand at the moment in this country on BDSM activities and impact play (not to be taken literally as legal advice of course):

 

http://www.spannertrust.org/documents/smandthelaw.asp

 

So in theory and spanking that leaves only temporary red marks might potentially be regarded as 'trifling' and hence not illegal if consented too. Although even this isn't assured necessarily. This could still leave a grey area where consent is disputed or later withdrawn after the activity. In which case all impact play could be illegal in that situation. That means the Dom has to be real sure of the Sub and to my mind that means quick meet ups, kinky dates, etc are risky for the Dom. Unless of course he/she doesn't mind chancing it.

Edited February 23, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Mo****]

1 hour ago, Phil_My_Way said:

All twaddle, that's feminism telling women they can have it all their way. Having it all their way has consequences though. Unevening the gender balance to get stuff all your way just doesn't work, there's always fallout from it.

I feel like this thread has been derailed but I must just say, I beg your pardon????? Telling a woman she is enough if she doesn't have *** and shouldn't have them because society deems it "womanly" is having it all? Wearing clothes and not being harassed is "having it all" a stay at home mum being told she is a vital and important part of society is "having it all" a woman that doesn't shave her body hair and doesn't want misogynistic comments about it is "having it all" ......fucking hell I think the 1850's is sending a carrier pigeon,  calling for you to go back!

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, Morganna said:

I feel like this thread has been derailed but I must just say, I beg your pardon????? Telling a woman she is enough if she doesn't have *** and shouldn't have them because society deems it "womanly" is having it all? Wearing clothes and not being harassed is "having it all" a stay at home mum being told she is a vital and important part of society is "having it all" a woman that doesn't shave her body hair and doesn't want misogynistic comments about it is "having it all" ......fucking hell I think the 1850's is sending a carrier pigeon,  calling for you to go back!

I'm sure you're enough for anyone 

 

I think you are twisting what I meant here. Anyway, yes back on topic.

[Deleted Member]

So the point that I was trying to make originally with regard to this topic was that the guy has to be real careful with the woman he does the BDSM activity with assuming he is bothered about legal implications. In the case of a Domme (female) most guys aren't minded to take issue. I wouldn't know about gay people though not being one myself. 

 

In most cases of alleged harassment it is the female alleging it against the male. So it would follow that the greater risk legally is to male Dom's. Female Subs of course take a risk of *** from getting with a bad Dom. Females in BDSM are hence less likely/less instances of facing legal risks.

 

I think in general it sounds like guys just get involved in this and hope for the best, that their Sub is really into the BDSM activities they say they are and so hence won't be wanting to lose their Dom and hence ability to do the activity. Even still the Dom who does not know his Sub well might end up with a girl who is unsure or not really into the BDSM activity whether they consciously realise it or not.

[Wo****]

Operation Spanner involved homosexual men.

There have Benn two cases of married couples.

36 men in West Yorkshire...

(Sourced from The Spanner Trust) so no, most aren't initiated by female submissives.

[SammyB]

5 hours ago, Phil_My_Way said:

Oh please, just look at society, the number of broken homes around, divorces, people not getting married, people on ***, high male *** rate, people's unhappiness in life, the way people interact these days, workplace hostilities, etc, etc. The root cause of all of this is feminism, being disgruntled by what the man has.

 

Take Alex Salmond as an example, in the news again today and the way feminists tried to take him down. He was damn lucky that they saw the light in court on that. Most people aren't so lucky and once the accusations start rolling it's pretty much a shut case whether innocent or if it's all been twisted.

I am actually at a loss for words.... that’s actually doesn’t happen often ..

I’m struggling to understand how you think feminism is the root cause .... I’m struggling to understand what you think feminism is about 

Every single one of these issues have existed for hundreds of years 

These issue were hidden away behind closed doors and the attitude was what went on behind closed doors stayed behind closed doors , things were not acknowledged or spoken about ... healthy ??  I think not 

Broken  homes / divorcees ....broken homes were broken inside the house  , people living in *** , living with domestic *** , sexual *** , living with alcoholism .... it was all happening ... nothing to do with feminism 

 

people on ***,...... for hundreds of years many many people lived with addictions and *** again all hidden , no support... again pre feminism 

high male *** rate,...... again happening for hundreds of years , again not spoken about 

high rates of suicude both in male and female

hidden away , families shamed

these deaths were often recorded as something else there’s figures today will look higher  

 

people's unhappiness ....... again are you telling me people were happier , everyone  has their own struggles no matter the year , decade and century 

workplace hostilities, etc, etc. 
again sexism , sexual harassment, all happened pre feminism ,.... again these were swept under the carpet 

 

[Deleted Member]

18 minutes ago, SammyB said:

I am actually at a loss for words.... that’s actually doesn’t happen often ..

I’m struggling to understand how you think feminism is the root cause .... I’m struggling to understand what you think feminism is about 

Every single one of these issues have existed for hundreds of years 

These issue were hidden away behind closed doors and the attitude was what went on behind closed doors stayed behind closed doors , things were not acknowledged or spoken about ... healthy ??  I think not 

Broken  homes / divorcees ....broken homes were broken inside the house  , people living in *** , living with domestic *** , sexual *** , living with alcoholism .... it was all happening ... nothing to do with feminism 

 

people on ***,...... for hundreds of years many many people lived with addictions and *** again all hidden , no support... again pre feminism 

high male *** rate,...... again happening for hundreds of years , again not spoken about 

high rates of suicude both in male and female

hidden away , families shamed

these deaths were often recorded as something else there’s figures today will look higher  

 

people's unhappiness ....... again are you telling me people were happier , everyone  has their own struggles no matter the year , decade and century 

workplace hostilities, etc, etc. 
again sexism , sexual harassment, all happened pre feminism ,.... again these were swept under the carpet 

 

I'm saying it has all gotten worse because of feminism. Are you really telling me society works these days? In the 1980s did we have the youth constantly moaning on about their mental health, the amount of weed being smoked today. The number of females going after 'careers' thereby oversupplying the pool of labour, women resentful of men and out to do them every which way. All I'm saying is that men have to be very careful with the woman they are with as any accusations generally don't favour the man.

Edited February 23, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Wo****]

@Phil_My_Way

Could this be discussed on a separate thread? What does feminism mean to you?

 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Bounty said:

Operation Spanner involved homosexual men.

There have Benn two cases of married couples.

36 men in West Yorkshire...

(Sourced from The Spanner Trust) so no, most aren't initiated by female submissives.

Pretty sure there are plenty of cases of women bringing cases against men. That said in theory any woman can accuse a guy of so accusing him of a BDSM without consent isn't a lot different aside from the severity of the penalty of course.

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Bounty said:

@Phil_My_Way

Could this be discussed on a separate thread? What does feminism mean to you?

 

Probably enough said already, let's leave it at this one. I don't think we will ever agree so no point arguing.

[Deleted Member]

I fairness people who 'switch' I'm guessing may suffer less risk as if both take their turn neither can really complain about the other, depending on how it all goes down off course.

[Wo****]

3 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

Pretty sure there are plenty of cases of women bringing cases against men. That said in theory any woman can accuse a guy of so accusing him of a BDSM without consent isn't a lot different aside from the severity of the penalty of course.

"Pretty sure" ?

You made a statement yet fail to back it up with evidence.

"In theory" any guy could accuse a Domme.

 

4 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

Probably enough said already, let's leave it at this one. I don't think we will ever agree so no point arguing.

Something we agree on.

 

2 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

I fairness people who 'switch' I'm guessing may suffer less risk as if both take their turn neither can really complain about the other, depending on how it all goes down off course.

You really don't have a clue, do you?

 

The OP started a thread about consent, backed up with evidence. You offer up points about feminism based on nothing but your opinion.

 

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Bounty said:

"Pretty sure" ?

You made a statement yet fail to back it up with evidence.

"In theory" any guy could accuse a Domme.

 

Something we agree on.

 

You really don't have a clue, do you?

 

The OP started a thread about consent, backed up with evidence. You offer up points about feminism based on nothing but your opinion.

 

I don't need evidence, it is well known that cases of harassment are mostly by women against men. It is also well known that most men don't feel right in bringing cases against women. So it stands to reason that there is a low likelihood of men taking action against a female Domme especially if the Domme just gave them what they asked for or did light BDSM/spanking.

[Wo****]

5 hours ago, Phil_My_Way said:

I don't need evidence, it is well known that cases of harassment are mostly by women against men. It is also well known that most men don't feel right in bringing cases against women. So it stands to reason that there is a low likelihood of men taking action against a female Domme especially if the Domme just gave them what they asked for or did light BDSM/spanking.

 

So you make a statement that you can't back up with evidence even though it's "well known"... saying you "don't need evidence". I think you'll find most people require evidence to back up what you say.

Harassment isn't the same thing as impact play though it does tie in with consent.

"Low likelihood of men taking action against a female Domme especially if the Domme just gave them what they asked for or did light bdsm/spanking erm... what? Why would someone take action against someone who does what you ask? 

If the spanking wasn't asked for then it would be ***.

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, Bounty said:

 

So you make a statement that you can't back up with evidence even though it's "well known"... saying you "don't need evidence". I think you'll find most people require evidence to back up what you say.

Harassment isn't the same thing as impact play though it does tie in with consent.

"Low likelihood of men taking action against a female Domme especially if the Domme just gave them what they asked for or did light bdsm/spanking erm... what? Why would someone take action against someone who does what you ask? 

If the spanking wasn't asked for then it would be ***.

 

 

 

I think the phrase “there’s no arguing with stupid” is relevant here. 🙄

[SammyB]

10 hours ago, Phil_My_Way said:

I'm saying it has all gotten worse because of feminism. Are you really telling me society works these days? In the 1980s did we have the youth constantly moaning on about their mental health, the amount of weed being smoked today. The number of females going after 'careers' thereby oversupplying the pool of labour, women resentful of men and out to do them every which way. All I'm saying is that men have to be very careful with the woman they are with as any accusations generally don't favour the man.

I am truly shocked at what I am reading , I’m actually not sure of your are being serious here at all ... your comments in this last reply are just absurd 

 

Everyone  needs to be careful in our community 

There are real risks attached  to every interaction.... slightly different on both sides of the coin but both have risks 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

You know two off you here say you are Submissive. Considering I'm a Dom I'm not feeling that lol 

Edited February 24, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

41 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

You know two off you here say you are Submissive. Considering I'm a Dom I'm not feeling that lol 

Some of the best advice and guidance(bollockings)I've received, has been from the submissive ladies. Just a thought 😊. 

[Ar****]

42 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

You know two off you here say you are Submissive. Considering I'm a Dom I'm not feeling that lol 

Please excuse me everyone, I'm just going to take a moment to scream into my pillows 😳😳😳

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Phil_My_Way said:

You know two off you here say you are Submissive. Considering I'm a Dom I'm not feeling that lol 

Submissive. Not stupid.

[Deleted Member]

41 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Submissive. Not stupid.

Hmmmnn.... I think I would be very careful to avoid Submissives who were anything but, especially if they were feminists also. Just too risky to do any BDSM activities with in my book, could go running off complaining to the Police at the drop off a hat. Way too dodgy for my liking, I'm surprised such women are even in BDSM as Submissives since it seems a contradiction as to who they are.

 

Dom's beware these ladies!

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

Hmmmnn.... I think I would be very careful to avoid Submissives who were anything but, especially if they were feminists also. Just too risky to do any BDSM activities with in my book, could go running off complaining to the Police at the drop off a hat. Way too dodgy for my liking, I'm surprised such women are even in BDSM as Submissives since it seems a contradiction as to who they are.

 

Dom's beware these ladies!

I’m sure every Dom on the site is paying close attention.

[Deleted Member]

48 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

Hmmmnn.... I think I would be very careful to avoid Submissives who were anything but, especially if they were feminists also. Just too risky to do any BDSM activities with in my book, could go running off complaining to the Police at the drop off a hat. Way too dodgy for my liking, I'm surprised such women are even in BDSM as Submissives since it seems a contradiction as to who they are.

 

Dom's beware these ladies!

Submissives can be many things, they can have a backbone to match any man. 

 

Why should we be aware? These ladies are not my submissives, i hold no sway over them, they are my equals in every way. I do not *** their strength, I draw from it and learn.

[Wo****]

2 hours ago, Phil_My_Way said:

Hmmmnn.... I think I would be very careful to avoid Submissives who were anything but, especially if they were feminists also. Just too risky to do any BDSM activities with in my book, could go running off complaining to the Police at the drop off a hat. Way too dodgy for my liking, I'm surprised such women are even in BDSM as Submissives since it seems a contradiction as to who they are.

 

Dom's beware these ladies!

😆

 

So kinky women who choose to submit as part of their self expression  and their right to choose how to express themselves sexually in trust and understanding should be avoided because the law is inadvertently discrimitory against kink positivity?

 

From your post I can only surmise you don't want a submissive, you want a doormat for your own gratification?

 

 

[Carnelian2]

2 hours ago, Phil_My_Way said:

Hmmmnn.... I think I would be very careful to avoid Submissives who were anything but, especially if they were feminists also. Just too risky to do any BDSM activities with in my book, could go running off complaining to the Police at the drop off a hat. Way too dodgy for my liking, I'm surprised such women are even in BDSM as Submissives since it seems a contradiction as to who they are.

 

Dom's beware these ladies!

That is a somewhat sexist point of view. I mean to state more or less that a feminist cannot be submissive.
Of course they can. I know several strong women with minds of their own, who can stand their own ground and have enough self-awareness to submit. I also know several equally strong Dominant women for which the same applies.
So, I don't really think that feminist or not has any bearing on D/s.

it is about respect in the end. If you extend the respect to women that they deserve, as women, then you are more likely to get the same in return.