Consent .

[li****]

22 minutes ago, Phil_My_Way said:

will keep my profile on here as I am into BDSM, but I notice that many male Dom's appear to be straight in their profiles but many female Subs are often queer. An interesting difference but it's not likely the scene I was led to believe was present. I thought that there would be a far more balanced cross section of society. Nothing wrong with those that are queer for them but it kind of dominates a lot here.

Fuck sake seriously????!!!!!! This is an all inclusive site for everyone so what if us "queer" folk dominate it here!!!!? I honestly can't believe it please take your homophobic comments else well please! You will find many Dom's here that are bi also so just like many female Dommes will be also as well as male and female subs again I ask what are you looking for here if you believe you won't find anything here? 

 

I've been with a Dom where he went past my safe word and my consent was taken away from me I was bruised and battered, did I go to the police no, should I have done yeah probably but I didn't. Not all women will go to the police for *** of judgement like myself, I didn't want what happened that night sprayed out for all to see and hear but that was my choice. Yes some will go to the police yes what we do during play is illegal but I now trust my Dom I'm with now fully and he knows I can take away my consent to something if I want to at any time it's one of the risks we take on in BDSM but we also have that trust and we both practice S.S.C, R.A.C.K and P.R.I.C.K so please please don't insult members here or make homophobic remarks, those comments aren't welcome here if you don't like it then don't stay here simple as, as I'm sure tinder will have you!!!! 

[Si****]

1 hour ago, Phil_My_Way said:

 

 I don't have time for that and so this will be my last post on this subject thread.

Thank goodness for that lol

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, SirGreen said:

Thank goodness for that lol

Threads really can be awesome things though. It can open up other pathways that may have briefly been touched upon in ones mind in the past, but not with enough respect, or realisation of the acrual importance.   

One of those over the last couple of days has been the importance of self protection, vetting, and just getting to know the person. We have a responsibility to ourselves to avoid bother by all the usual means, informed consent etc, but it goes much deeper than that. I recently withdrew from something, not for *** of eventual legal production, for other reasons, yet logic was basically the same. But the key as I've always said is just to get to know someone first, it's not difficult, and with that you should really know whether you are safe to proceed.

[Wo****]

5 hours ago, Phil_My_Way said:

So here earlier you state it is illegal and yet later on you are stating that it is not???

 

Apparently because it is 'you' it doesn't apply to you, just the rest of the BDSM community. You must be so.e higher level being of intelligence that has found a way around with your Dom that no other BDSM person has so far yet been capable off lol.

 

5 hours ago, Phil_My_Way said:

So here earlier you state it is illegal and yet later on you are stating that it is not???

 

Apparently because it is 'you' it doesn't apply to you, just the rest of the BDSM community. You must be so.e higher level being of intelligence that has found a way around with your Dom that no other BDSM person has so far yet been capable off lol.

Where have I stated it's legal?

 

It's NOT legal. It's ILLEGAL. AGAINST THE LAW. 

Clear enough?

Even with consent it's illegal. Have I made that clear.

Impact play is illegal.

 

[Mz****]

6 minutes ago, Bounty said:

 

Where have I stated it's legal?

 

It's NOT legal. It's ILLEGAL. AGAINST THE LAW. 

Clear enough?

Even with consent it's illegal. Have I made that clear.

Impact play is illegal.

 

I know you have some old masochistic traits that run deep, but banging your head against a brick wall isn't a fetish I don't think 🤔

[li****]

I'm done with this guys homophobic, sexist remarks. Seriously not gonna win against a troll he needs off the site 

[LazyPirate]

Oh Christ, I can’t believe what utter bollocks I have wasted my time on reading. Is there a suggestion of an argument against feminism with an assumption that just women are feminists and submissives can’t/shouldn’t be? In which case I’m clearly living a lie in because I’m a feminist in spite of being male and also a switch.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Annalou said:

Hey guys, interesting discussion! But play NICE. Listen to others, don't get personal – raise the discussion above personal jibes. I'm keeping an eye on this one, and will not refrain from locking it if it gets out of hand. As you were... 

Frankly, I find some of the comments in here disturbingly ignorant and while posted confidently, do not seem to be backed by experience or education. This is not only dangerous, but these comments have been delivered with insults to other members. Should I screenshot the comments or just link to the thread to report it?

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, LazyPirate said:

Oh Christ, I can’t believe what utter bollocks I have wasted my time on reading. Is there a suggestion of an argument against feminism with an assumption that just women are feminists and submissives can’t/shouldn’t be? In which case I’m clearly living a lie in because I’m a feminist in spite of being male and also a switch.

Don’t forget the warning to other Doms about the dangers of feminists - avoid them! We will run to the police at a moment’s notice! Can’t be trusted! Etc etc

[Deleted Member]

Tuesday at 07:55 AM, Curvykate said:

What is your objection to feminist values?

I inadvertently set off this derail of the thread MrCopolo, for which I’m sorry. I think that your original post and the consent discussion which has taken place has never the less been useful to many.

[Deleted Member]

Sadly cockwombles like that are the reason I don’t post much anymore.  

[Deleted Member]

35 minutes ago, MrCopolo said:

Sadly cockwombles like that are the reason I don’t post much anymore.  

I hope you do continue to post, MrCopolo! Your post was just the kind of information people need to see. This lifestyle/interest/hobby is not to be approached lightly. I can't tell you how many posts I've seen on other internet bdsm forums about sexual *** by a "dom". It's really sad.

I work in *** healthcare and Informed Consent is one of our principles when working with clients. Shouldn't a human in D/s get that same consideration? [hell yes]

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, MrCopolo said:

Sadly cockwombles like that are the reason I don’t post much anymore.  

I go the other way on that. I think "cockwombles" are a valid reason to start threads. They expose themselves, and show who they really are, a clear warning maybe to others. Also when we feel we need to withdraw somewhat then we are doing others a disservice as threads can really open up deep thought, for me anyway and are a fantastic way to learn. Sadly though no matter what is said some refuse to accept the opinions, advice offered and that's when for me direct confrontation is the only way. Sometimes we are left with no choice but to fight fire with fire, whether it's right or wrong 

[Deleted Member]

I’ve been on here for over 3 yrs and in or around the lifestyle for over 20yrs and it gets tiring And old.
There are so many keyboard warriors that just want to argue and yes at times this creates tangents of conversation but not to the extent that it can and in that ruins a really good thread.
People feel pushed out who may otherwise of commented and added to the discussion people feel ignored when they do comment constructively which is a true shame.
But as you will always get online the toxic arseholes come out of the woodwork fishing for a reaction because really it’s just attention seeking nothing more.

[SammyB]

Thursday at 11:18 AM, Phil_My_Way said:

From what I have read the act being deemed 'roleplay' is no more something that can be agreed to than 'consent'. Hence if Actual Bodily Harm is caused as an intention then deeming it 'roleplay' would be no defence. Acting is a different matter and I believe already has been raised in court/legally that it does not apply to BDSM activities neither does BDSM being termed a sport, etc. 

 

There may well be the context as brought by the defence off how it came about but again the prosecution would bring up that the it is not something the Sub can legally consent too. Signs of her being ***d and any statements of her saying no would hence be regarded the same as in any case.

 

What has been found with impact play essentially is the same throughout BDSM that no activity can be legally consented too even if the Sub has consented. Many cases of Body modifications as well in case law where the Sub consented and it was judged afterwards that they it was not something they could legally consent too, no reason CNC is any different from the rest of BDSM it's just another activity that can't be legally consented too whatever the written agreements and context.

 

We could argue about this all day, I'm not opposed to any of this going on, but the question of consent was raised by the OP and this is how it is described in many cases in the US and the UK. I have suggested that this site produce an article after seeking legal advice on the matter. Those engaged in CNC play would be wise in my opinion to spend a few bob themselves on getting good legal advice on the matter as they may well be surprised. Even then they would have to be sure that they could rely on that legal advice if it said they could do as suggested which I doubt it would. Myself I would make sure I'm in a country where the law supports such activities it would be worth the cost of the plane fare.

Over the years many members who work in the field of policing and law have written pieces

I do agree a pinned article somewhere on site explaining consent in a few countries would be beneficial for all

[Deleted Member]

I note that today a new law in the UK has been introduced around non-fatal strangulation. 5 year sentence.

[pl****]

All you people have seriously too much time on your hands you all need to get a life

[pl****]

Not you little monster