choices

[pomonagirl]

"Pick your color", the young woman chirps, waving her hand towards the wall opposite the register. i walk towards the wall of color, several transparent acrylic racks attached to the wall, each housing dozens and dozens of little bottles.

my eyes barely scan all the different rows of colors. Instinctively, i go for the section which display the Red polishes...as my hand reaches out to a deep, burgundy red, it suddenly hits me...

i am not His anymore.

Not that i was ever restricted by Him, in any way. But for over a year, it had always been red, dark red.

"Sir M--, what color nail polish would you prefer?" i'd asked, all those months ago.

"Black, little one. Or Red. I am an old goth, after all..."

So, no, not a dress code, or rule, or (gulp) command; simply because i knew that it pleased Him. And in pleasing Him, i was given pleasure tenfold.

So for over a year it had been Red, usually dark Red, the kind of Red that has that quality of Garnet, or Ripe Cherries. The kind of Red that has a certain quality of Black, although sometimes i'd go for more of a Fire Engine Red, just to keep it interesting.

_______________________________________________________

Suddenly indecisive, i withdraw my hand. It's been over a year since i had this choice. Slowly i scan the rows and rows of colorful bottles. It seems like too much, too much to take in.

Also, for the first time, most of the colors seem...garish. Unbecoming. Clashing or overriding what i would wear with them...

The conditioning is subtle, yet powerful. Master's aesthetic has seeped into my consciousness, my preferences, my very psyche. My decisions, however mundane, are made to honor Him and reflect His desire.

Aware that the young lady is now waiting for me at the manicure station, i take a breath. Focus my vision on the rows of colors before me. Upon my exhale, i reach forward, grabbing a Red; a Red with the quality of Garnet. A Red with the quality of Black.

[Gentle_Femdom]

On 3/8/2021 at 6:36 PM, pomonagirl said:

Also, for the first time, most of the colors seem...garish. Unbecoming. Clashing or overriding what i would wear with them...

The conditioning is subtle, yet powerful. Master's aesthetic has seeped into my consciousness, my preferences, my very psyche. My decisions, however mundane, are made to honor Him and reflect His desire.

I understand this completely. Not because I had any master to please, but society at large. The first time I could truly, freely, do with my hair as I pleased (finally being outside of a corporate setting), I couldn't brave myself to dye it. It took me 2 years to finally do it, and as a ***kaboo nonetheless.

Expectations can be suppression in disguise. Expectations can make one lose touch with one's true self.

I felt this woman's confusion, deeply. Well done @pomonagirl. Brava!