Feeling far away

[Deleted Member]

Recently my master has been very pre-occupied with his vanilla life.  Understandably.  He has a very busy job and a wife and his mother is ill and although Kitten doesn't want to complain, I HATE IT!  I feel abandoned. 

And my thoughts spiral into the unhealthiest corners of my mind. 

AHHHHHHHH! 

The thing is we still talk every day.. but I want to be tied up in front of him not on the other end of an email. 

He still gives me tasks, but I am getting resentful. How can he ask so much of Kitten without truly rewarding her.  I don't want a new collar in the post I want your hand around my throat. 

I'm being needy, I know he is trying his hardest. 

so how do I deal with this ? 

[Summervas]

my poor little one, all you want is the comfort of your daddy. be strong

[Lombardo43]

Sounds as though you really do have the rough end in this partnership. In my simplistic mind he doesn't seem to give you much that you need at all  but I'll choose to ask what does he do to keep you his? The answer to this may make you decide to move on.

[Foxter]

1 hour ago, Lombardo43 said:

Sounds as though you really do have the rough end in this partnership. In my simplistic mind he doesn't seem to give you much that you need at all  but I'll choose to ask what does he do to keep you his? The answer to this may make you decide to move on.

I would have to disagree, I would say the partner has the rough end, trying to play back as best he can and keep her, while trying to balance stressful work and an ill mother. He has the most to lose in this situation. 

But it comes down to only three things, stay and hope he finds more time, find a temporary new partner or move on. Personally I think if he satisfies you when you do play, you should give him time.

[Carnelian2]

@LittleKitty - Ths might sound harsh, but you got involved with a married man so you will always be second. I would even question his motives for getting involved with you in the first place. Anyway, that is for you and him to work out as our situations and circumstances are all different. Some people like those kinds of arrangements with the limitations it gives, for others, it is transitional.

He has his life and you will need to respect this, but I would recommend talking it over with him if it is making you unsettled. There has to be a balance for both of you.

I sincerely wish you all the best

[ey****]

I can empathise.  It's one of the problems when we becoming needy of someone's time who cannot presently give it to us.  As long as it's just something that is reflective of the circumstances and not something you have done.

I'm sure while he has his priorities right, he's also frustrated he cannot spend time with you.  

Of course be sure to make the most of each others time when you can next spend it together.

[Deleted Member]

I guess you talked about all the possibilities and eventually with your DD before geting involved full on into the relationship. This is the part where its hard. So its talk time facing the mirror, you wanted this remember. There will be more to come in the future, so if you are not really prepared for this moments, its time for another serious conversation with him.

[la****]

Poor kitty , my advice to you is get out of this relationship, it might be hard , but he's married. Trust me there are lots of single masters out there and you will find one. Good luck

[ey****]

I dunno, but I feel there's a lot of... presumptuous... advice.

A bit quick on the "kick him to the kerb" when there's an overall shortage of facts.

Granted, it's not clear as of if this is done with or without the wife's knowledge/consent - but, it's always frustrating trying to juggle time in multi-partner relationships especially when you were happy with the level of priority you were and then this suddenly drops due to a change of circumstances.

But yeah, I'm guessing, OP, you don't want someone else - you want your Master - but right now his time is elsewhere and as you say you know he's trying - but I can empathise with my own circumstances that this can still be lonely.

Hold tight, it'll be worth it in the long run.

For me, there's a big risk when I see my Mistress on Saturday, She might not be able to beat me cos I'll start hugging Her and not want to let go... haha.

[Aya13]

I understand I am in similar situation needing a new master

[DivaBratPrincess]

Dear Kitty... the Dom who deserves your devotion isn’t afraid of his wife & doesn’t treat you as a dirty secret to who he feeds crumbs to his kitty beneath his table.

There are Doms out there who value you so value yourself.

[DivaBratPrincess]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I dunno, but I feel there's a lot of... presumptuous... advice.

A bit quick on the "kick him to the kerb" when there's an overall shortage of facts.

Granted, it's not clear as of if this is done with or without the wife's knowledge/consent - but, it's always frustrating trying to juggle time in multi-partner relationships especially when you were happy with the level of priority you were and then this suddenly drops due to a change of circumstances.

But yeah, I'm guessing, OP, you don't want someone else - you want your Master - but right now his time is elsewhere and as you say you know he's trying - but I can empathise with my own circumstances that this can still be lonely.

Hold tight, it'll be worth it in the long run.

For me, there's a big risk when I see my Mistress on Saturday, She might not be able to beat me cos I'll start hugging Her and not want to let go... haha.

Tsk tsk black sheep bad advice for poor Kitty!... Kitty have love for yourself. This Dom of yours is full of games & only about himself. Do better.

Edited March 19, 2018 by DivaBratPrincess
Meant to word it differently

[ey****]

Well, OP has deleted her profile.  

She came looking for support and got told to dump someone.  

[Deleted Member]

I dont think nobody here should advise to dump her D/S without a full knowlege of the situation.

She knew he was married but she made the choice to still get involved with him, she saw a connections that you didnt see.

some subs are married or have a vanilla life, so is it wrong for them to get involved with a Dom?

only married bdsm life??

only singles bdsm life?

 

hmm very conservative point of view IN my opinion...

[DivaBratPrincess]

Good for Kitty she will soon realize she deserves better & she will be fine. I’m on Kitty’s side & random males out here with their meaningless self centered ideals are meaningless. It was what is good for her OBVIOUSLY!

[DivaBratPrincess]

2 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

I dont think nobody here should advise to dump her D/S without a full knowlege of the situation.

She knew he was married but she made the choice to still get involved with him, she saw a connections that you didnt see.

some subs are married or have a vanilla life, so is it wrong for them to get involved with a Dom?

only married bdsm life??

only singles bdsm life?

 

hmm very conservative point of view IN my opinion...

Ah the response of a typical male. Your a Dom correct? Clearly u understand only his needs

[Carnelian2]

Everyone who comments on these threads will invariably do so from their own perspective. I have read through the comments and saw suggestions that she should discuss it with her Dom. It is similar with the poly discussion.

what works for some does not work for others.

 

[Deleted Member]

prejudging now...gets better here?

read me propely dont distord or twist my comments please. In my first advice, I recommend the PO to have a good talk with her Dom and see whats the future options. 

My point of view has always been with good comms with the subs, and I dont appreciate this situation, but like I said LittleKitty knew about his status.

I dont take position for any side. Bdsm is a personal matter, involving singles, married, blinds, one leg, no leg, one eye and some with strong opinions. And I would appreciated if its not getting too personal. Please.

[ey****]

tbh - this discussion is difficult to continue without the OP clarifying.

It sounds like she understands but is frustrated, which could be different from being overall unhappy.   I'm in a similar situation as a sub - the Mistress I serve has had Her own personal priorities and while it has been very frustrating for me I can't spend time with Her... it would also be unfair of me to demand Her time in the circumstances.  This doesn't stop me feeling frustrated.   This feels similar to where the OP is coming from.   Mind, any or all of us could be wrong.