Fantasies

[beanman333]

I have fantasies often about my secret turn ons. I often fantasize when I am high. What i fantasize about are things I’m afraid of people i know might find out, which adds stress. How can I find a person to make these fantasies a reality and how can I eliminate the worry of people ever knowing my fetish?

[ey****]

on how to make a fantasy a reality it depends wholly on what your fantasy is.

though, to make it happen people are probably going to need to find out.  But that's not necessarily as big an issue as it seems.  There's a kinda stigma to overcome that pretty much everyone has fantasies some of which they will act upon, some of which they will not, some of which are realistic some less so.

[Deleted Member]

Your fantasy of being afraid that people might find out causes you stress? Does the stress enhance the fantasy or does it make it an anxious uncomfortable feeling for you? Your second issue of can I find a person to make your fantasy a reality? You may find that because you are not relaxed about it other potential partners may also be uncomfortable to engage with your *** of your fetish . I can understand your *** but if the worries you have are mostly friends and family then you will need to be brave and accept the fact that you have strange desires. On the other hand if you’re in a career that sharing your fetish thoughts could harm your position or even end your career then I’m sympathetic to your situation and you may have to make a difficult decision to choose one over the other.

[beanman333]

I think I need to be away from people I know in order for this to work. I am comfortable as long as the person i find keeps it confidential (supports my experimenting etc), I just don’t want to act on anything yet. Soon I’ll be in a big city as in acting on this in a small town gives me stress because people talk. Also less people to find. Also, i don’t think it’s that strange. I just enjoy dressing in khakis and get turned on by wearing them. For some reason it makes me wish to be submissive to anyone.

[Deleted Member]

I wish you all the best with your move and I hope you find another person who enjoys your fetish  and someone who you can trust 

[ey****]

A story.

Some people will appreciate this, some less so.

Many years ago - I had a bunch of fantasies and ideas I wanted to try.  Whilst I was active on the kink scene at the time, some of these seemed like things I couldn't just ask a friend for.  It also had a potential to go horribly wrong.

So. Not wanting to do the "How do I ask a friend this?" or "What if someone says yes and I hate it, will I be able to look them in the eye again?" and a little bit of the "everyone might talk"

I basically booked a Pro-Domme to do it with me.  And, to further lower the risk.... someone from the other side of the country meaning it was unlikely, but not impossible, we'd bump into each other by chance.

As it happens, I loved it.  We ended up meeting a few times to explore other ideas and experiments and never bumped into each other by chance, even when I half hoped we would.  Obviously not a solution for everyone, but it worked for me. 

[beanman333]

I like that option. Thanks