"Breaking The Submissive" - Master Asmodeus AKA FTMSIRx

[Deleted Member]

I think when we hear this term it can come off a bit rough around the edges. When we talk about breaking someone, usually the first thing you'll hear is that a good Dom/Domme does not break their toys. I agree!

However, in my eyes this theory is often taken out of context. People are quick to assume breaking someone means just that, breaking them through grueling training or *** sessions. I personally do not share that perspective when I discuss breaking an s-type.

To me, the process of breaking a sub or slave is a matter of dismantling former habits and possible traumas or malfunctions instilled by a former D-type who fucked up or, in another context, simply a matter of deconstructing the submissive and rebuilding them through a process of behavioral and protocol training that is deeply rooted around the needs of the dynamic and the parties involved. This is somewhat controversial in nature and yet I've not really been given a clear reason why. But from what I gathered, the general consensus seemed to be the word breaking itself.

Let's say you have an oil ***ting you've done but it's got some minor imperfections. At this point you have two choices, right? Throw it away completely or strip the canvas and start over. Now, since we all agree with my previous statement that all s-types come with some things from a previous D-type that might have caused some imperfections, we can safely say we have to strip the canvas and start fresh. Because nobody is disposable and isn't that one of the glories of our craft? Creating art of our s-types?

Anyway, so now we go through that stripping process. Mind you, each Dom has their own way of doing this because each s-type has their own specific needs, wants, traits, goals, etc. So there is no how to on this one, simply because it's situational.

What's important to remember is do not start what you do not intend to finish, always negotiate with your s-type on key areas they need to work on in themselves and in your dynamic together, do not dare break a sub and then abandon them, and always give positive reassurance as often as possible during the build up or "re***ting" phase.

Breaking a sub is a serious undertaking and in some cases with more difficult subs can be a deeply hard release for the s-type. Emotionally daunting, scary in general, exhausting, but eye-opening. It's a deeply enriching experience in the end, but can really test the framework of most dynamics especially with s-types who have heavier trauma than others or whom have had a run of bad luck with D-types in general and struggle greatly with trust. Be diligent, communicate, and do not abandon ship. This is a Dom's time to shine in the eyes of their sub/slave and equally, a s-type's time to allow their brightest colors to shed their former image and ***t the best version of themselves with their Dom's guidance so that they may ***t to their heart's content in the gallery of their dynamic together.

[Deleted Member]

If only everyone would see it this way! In today's society most just want instant gratification and never take the time to get to really know someone. Soo many chances are lost due to lack of communication or abandoning ship if things aren't simple. People don't seem to want attachments or deep understanding. If it requires work they pass on by or have no real intentions to see it through. Everything in life takes time ,effort and patience to be worth it and to last.

[ol****]

You have an odd turn of phrase and I don't like "Breaking" as an expression. Smacks to much of breaking horses to me. That said it is true that re-modelling and repair is always needed to meet the desires of both the D and the s in the dynamic. 

I think the problem stems from a lot a subs starting off in abusive as opposed to D/s relationships but that might be to broad a generalisation and my evidence base is small.

[Deleted Member]

58 minutes ago, oldfellow said:

You have an odd turn of phrase and I don't like "Breaking" as an expression. Smacks to much of breaking horses to me. That said it is true that re-modelling and repair is always needed to meet the desires of both the D and the s in the dynamic. 

I think the problem stems from a lot a subs starting off in abusive as opposed to D/s relationships but that might be to broad a generalisation and my evidence base is small.

It's justifiably not easy on the palette. I prefer the term "deconstructing". I was really using the term "Breaking" as a means of explaining the term and how it's misused. For what it's worth, I love horses lol I agree with you, the sad truth is that a lot of subs in more recent years seem to be starting off in toxic or abusive dynamics. It's unfortunate how there seems to be a large majority of negligent D types out there.