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cuddles3672

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cuddles3672
Posted

I started out in chat room to find out more about this site and how things are like. It started out great and they seemed welcoming and I was extremely nervous since I am very shy and would never usually talk much about it but still I talked about my fantasy and they all seemed great with it even said was nothing to be embarrassed about which made me feel better but then some guy in there made me feel bad saying I was whining while I was just trying to get information then same night I went in he insulted me even more saying to stop trying to get sympathy from others after I had came in there for support since I had tried to talk to woman from other fetish site made me feel very embarrassed and insulted over my fantasy and instead of support from what they called a community I got insulted even more.

I gave it one last try today just looked and observed since one time I came in said hello no one even said anything today went in waited awhile then just asked what protocol was for messaging anyone on this site and was discussing about i was researching stuff on this site which some stuff was bit over top but then when someone mentioned they knew over my altercation with this guy i wasn't allowed to speak my case over how badly i was hurt by him instead this woman told me to take my drama elsewhere so now i am no longer going into chat room due to how everyone is with me. Is this how this entire community is with people if so please tell me I will gladly deactivate my account since I felt awkward even talking about my fantasy and after I did now I have no support from no one and everyone being so disrespectful. Feel like I have no say no word like I don't matter have enough of this going in my life.

Posted

That is sad that you have been treated this way. The site is usually a nice place to be but unfortunately there are some that are not a sympathetic to people. I hope you don't feel down too much. No one should be bullied off a site. I hope this is a one off case but maybe if it persists perhaps mentioning your case to the site or mods may help you.

Posted

I think you approached this the wrong way. The chat room is more light hearted conversation. You will struggle if you take things to personally, as it seem you are. Maybe take a step back from the situation and consider what’s happening! Post to the forum?
Best of luck

Posted

Yes as chastity says either raise it with the site, or the mods who though busy always help with problems, the lobby in particular is there for general chit chat, kink or not, and is supposed to be a good place to start chatting when shy and nervous, not to get ***, and usually if a problem flares up its forgotten just as quickly

Posted

Omg cuddles i am so sorry to hear this!!! 

 

I was there when you discussed yoir fantasy (i gave a good prodding of encouragement) and even shared my own! I seen that you felt slightly better after that. 

 

Now last night you came in and i seen your comment about not being wanted and you would leave

 I did reply asking what you were talking about as i had been engaging well with you and everything seemed fine.. 

But you were already gone. Then someone did tell the chat room that a guy was mean to you and caused a stir. 

I am really sorry this happened. If i had of seen that id have spoke up for you. People shouldnt feel like this!!! 

 

As for the other site... thats disgraceful and that woman should be ashamed. 

You have nothing to be embarrassed about and it was great having you in chat. We all get scared and nervous but thats why we support.. learn from and teach each other. I hope u cpme back soon. Chat doesnt always have some one there to have a go at you (nor should it ever) 

 

Cuddles please stay. Keep yourself going xxx

Posted

No one should make you feel bad about asking questions etc. Never feel ashamed of who you are and remember you always have the block option so you don’t have to interact with anyone you don’t want to.

Mz_Whiplash
Posted

Hey @ cuddles3672, remember me ... we chatted in the chatroom ... when you shared ur fantasies and kinks, took a little coaxing .. I was the one that said... *we cant see you blush*.   This is a community I am proud to be apart of, we are all different and tbf I suppose like any big group of people we may not get along with everyone (kinda like being in school)  but on the most I generally see respect from people when respect has been shown to them.  There are some great features too.. like blocking, its good to block to give time out from reacting or just to protect urself from any onslaughts, remember we are all different and unique, a person might react in a negative way due to something personal in their life.  Personally I am ***ed being grouped with this one occasion someone might have been unkind to you, because I feel when you were in chat everyone was kind supportive and respectful.  My suggestion would be to block this person move passed this and enjoy this community.

Posted

Don't let one douchebag get you down. 90% of people in chat are lovely and are open to all sorts of kinks. All I would say is, if you have a specific problem or serious topic to talk about, it is usually best to make a forum post about it (like you have done here). Chat is mostly for general talk or joking around, and it won't necessarily have the right people on at the time to answer any questions you might have. Hope that guy didn't put you off!

Posted
17 minutes ago, Mz_Whiplash said:

Hey @ cuddles3672, remember me ... we chatted in the chatroom ... when you shared ur fantasies and kinks, took a little coaxing .. I was the one that said... *we cant see you blush*.   This is a community I am proud to be apart of, we are all different and tbf I suppose like any big group of people we may not get along with everyone (kinda like being in school)  but on the most I generally see respect from people when respect has been shown to them.  There are some great features too.. like blocking, its good to block to give time out from reacting or just to protect urself from any onslaughts, remember we are all different and unique, a person might react in a negative way due to something personal in their life.  Personally I am ***ed being grouped with this one occasion someone might have been unkind to you, because I feel when you were in chat everyone was kind supportive and respectful.  My suggestion would be to block this person move passed this and enjoy this community.

this is quite a good point youve made. we all made effort and had lots of fun with cuddles and helped him open up. 

just cus one person was an ass doesnt mean we all should be tarred under that. there wa far more good in chat than the one who was being an ass. 

i agree with whip. block that person move on and have fun with those of us who are there for you :) dont spoil it for yourself at the expense of another

Posted

Chat rules make it clear that any *** from assholes will be dealt with. Unfortunately your local
Time might not be on your side and no mods were available at that time and U.K. kind peoples couldn’t help you so late in the night. But come back and make sure you click the report button next time and the mod will be alert and check the chat.

Posted

Sadly there are a few who speak to others badly and quite frankly if they speak to members like that they shouldn't be in the lobby. 

This is a kink site your well within your rights to talk about your kink. Unfortunately there are a few dramas. But you stand your ground and speak up. 

I tell you what if you ever see me in the Lobby chat with me. Honestly I'm open to chat the only people I don't have time for are those who don't play nicely with others. 

Chasity, taty, whip and few others are great to talk to. 

If it happens again block and report their profile take a screen shot of the *** and send it or call chat mods. 

That sort of bullying I can't stand people are free to talk about their kink, this isn't Anne summers party we are a kink site and we are free to express our kink with rules permitting. After all true kinksters look after each other we are family

Posted

Don't stress over what assholes say. Don't let it bother you. The world is full of dickweeds & bullies. You just gotta ignore em with your head held high & don't stoop to their level. Hell with em. But do consider sticking around. There's a lot of cool people here who'd definitely support you👍

Posted

I was in the chatroom for at least one of these. There are some strong personalities in there, and not everyone will get along. My suggestion would be to block those you don't want to converse with.

cuddles3672
Posted

Thank you everyone for all your kind words I really do appreciate everything you are saying.

Posted

Yep at times sadly some strong personalities can be hostile or just rude.  They forget what it's like to first start out.  Kink shaming is a no no, and most people are encouraged to ask questions, you may not get an answer, but you do most of the time.

Last night we had  a new guy in jumping in all guns blazing....its understandable, new and wanting to experience everything, we all have been like that, kids in the candy store.  But quite a number of us engaged him in conversation, even suggested a few good books for new people in the kink scene, take things slow, get to know people over time.  It's hard when you first start out, but slow and steady is the best way, trust me.. Hopefully he will be back after some good advice given, we look forward to new regular members or even semi regulars.

Sometimes the lobby does get clicky and tbh even i have seen regular members just turning the room, as has been stated above in to "ann summers lite" where a lot of the vast avenues of the scene people just don't want to know about.  But the site is for all kinks, if someone is being a ass, block is always a good thing to use.  The scene should and the site usually does encompass a wide range of fetish's that should "legally that is" be encouraged and talked about, or at least someone pointing you out in the right direction.

If you do get any problems from anyone, block or report is the best way and not engage them.

I'd suggest the Thursday night "quarantine munch room" open at 20:00 GMT every thursday night, ever wee a new topic hosted by regular experienced people in the scene.

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