What is the best way to form kink friendships on this site?

[cuddles3672]

What is the best way to form kink friendships on this site? What are the pros and cons? Has anyone made friends on this site?

[Mo****]

Peruse and READ profiles, view photos, make RESPECTFUL comments on photos and in forum/blog posts, and GENUINELY build respect with others. If others like what they see, they will reach out in some fashion, and you take it from there. Don't expect that because of this being a kink site that members are desperate.

[UK****]

Yes I have. Make a respectful email is what works best for me. I don't think I write really great emails, however I often get comments that it's the most respectful thing they've received on the site. I can only assume how bad the rest of what they receive must therefore be!

[ey****]

In a way. Time and patience.

The more you comment on threads. The more you participate in the chat.  The more known you become.

Obviously it's good to become known for good reasons.  So, I think the whole - while it is a kink site, there is a real person on the other side.

You can also message people without it being to hit on them, for example you might have seen a few forum posts by them you enjoy or maybe made a point in chat you'd like to know more on.  Remember of course they still don't have to reply (and a "you made a great post" might only be worth a "thank you") but building passive connections is valuable. 

[Pu****]

I agree from what I read, be respectful. It's just like if you were to talk to someone in real life. Get to know them and be respectful. Most people that are on here, aren't on here because of a lack of options. I have had my inbox flooded with messages, but I am only talking to one of those guys outside of this site. I also have grown to like him through our conversations, if that helps. so best of luck!

Edited May 27, 2021 by Punky1985
Improper grammar

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

In a way. Time and patience.

The more you comment on threads. The more you participate in the chat.  The more known you become.

Obviously it's good to become known for good reasons.  So, I think the whole - while it is a kink site, there is a real person on the other side.

You can also message people without it being to hit on them, for example you might have seen a few forum posts by them you enjoy or maybe made a point in chat you'd like to know more on.  Remember of course they still don't have to reply (and a "you made a great post" might only be worth a "thank you") but building passive connections is valuable. 

This is exactly how I made friends on this site!

[cuddles3672]

Thanks for all the wonderful advice. Its hard sometimes since you're not entirely sure what you can or cannot say that maybe taken wrong way... or do things like message even just for comment without feeling like someone thinking badly...heard some comments before awhile back how upset some get from even receiving messages. So wasnt entirely sure how things go.

[Ar****]

There is good advice here already, may I please clarify (without prejudice or assumption) what you mean by "kink friendship" though, as I feel it may have a strong bearing on the matter?

 

Are you asking how to form regular friendships with other people who happen to be kinksters, or how to enter into kinky dynamics with people who would also be your friends? Or something else?

 

Best of luck to you, in any case.

[cuddles3672]

My apologies for not being more clear I had talked to pixie dust as in how to approach others in ways not to alienate or make them think differently as my original post was taken out of context....i only am looking to make friends nothing more even if just as being friendly....she suggest I make a post how to form kink friendships I gather due to this site being about kinksters but I hope that approach didnt get misled in ways either if so I do apologize. As I am still learning how to do things in here in the right way.

[cuddles3672]

Also as black sheep mentioned to me on this thread pixie dust had mentioned same the more I comment on forum and participate in chat people will get to know you better and I have started to comment on some posts on here and I am trying in chat just sometimes I dont have much to say on certain topics since I dont have any experiences yet. 

[Hal727]

Interesting comments. I too have attempted to form friendships here, strictly for the purpose of learning and sharing ideas. After all, it’s difficult to do more than that when the person you are talking with is 2000 miles away. I have been on Fet for about a year, and chatted briefly with quite a few people. Sadly, other than a couple of notable exceptions, everyone I have spoken with, very quickly started asking me to send them ***. It’s clearly stated in my profile that I will not send *** to anyone I have never met. Not only that, but I have asked for a Street address where they want something sent, and of course there never is one. There are definitely some nice people here, but it takes filtering through lots of scammers to find them. Good luck to you.

[Deleted Member]

I’ve made some wonderful friends here and get to spend time with them irl. I met them in the lobby, after quite awhile of lurking I jumped in and started chatting and it went from there.

[ey****]

I think - and tying in with some above comments.

Sending a message shouldn't be a random experience.  If you start harvesting looking for people to message, whether it's to be friends - or more - you're more likely to hit the scammers and less likely to be able to strike up conversation.

If you go onto someone's profile and there's something that stands out - message them about that - and this could be a non-kink interest or something genuinely interesting.   Among a lot of things the scammers tend to have such bland profiles.

Messaging is easier if it's someone you've swapped a few points with on the forums or a little chat in chat.   It doesn't even have to have been a lengthily chat, "Hey, we were talking in chat and that was nice and then the room got a bit busy - we were talking about x, what is it about x you love so much?"

[cuddles3672]

Thanks black sheep you make very good points and I hadn't thought of it in the way you suggested. I've noticed in many forum chats you always have very good insight into things. And pinky I am very glad to hear you made such wonderful things and had the chance to spent time with them irl 

[cuddles3672]

Pinky very glad you made such wonderful friends and had chance to spend time with them irl (sorry stupid auto-correct) 

[ab****]

I've made life changing friendships on here.
I'm more of a chat room guy. But the threads are AMAZING, I hear. I would put put an ad for what you're looking for. And be prepared to sift through the responses.
But general chat is always here. 24/7. I always remind people that.
Basically, I would go at it as 3 prong approach.
-AD
-Threads
-Chat
You really can't lose.
I'd remind you to be respectful and patient but I feel like you already are.. otherwise I wouldn't have taken the time to tell you this..
You will fit right in.
Welcome!!!
See you round!!
~Doc

[Th****]

I have certainly made, hugely life-enhancing friendships through Fetish. My submissive and future life partner is 4000 miles away, we have met up and, with all the Gods willing, will again soon. We plan on her joining me in the UK. 

So I am of course biased, all of my friends though I have made by just talking to them as I would any other human being I respected. By being kind or silent, and by trying to assist with no other motive.

Along the way I have been lucky enough to share amazing debates, discussions and conversations with a myriad of people whose experiences all vary so much. Think of it as a medium that allows you to reach out to other people and one of those people will in time will just click with you. 

Then you can get an amazing connection.

There is great kink and rushed kink. Go for Great.

[cuddles3672]

Thanks doc, I am trying to do just as you said the 3 prong approach. And Thebian I am glad to hear you found someone that special for you and even more so for when she joins you over there. While I've been on chat I try to chat as much as I can but at times I can be just lurking as at times some topics I am not able to comment but also I try to learn from some things said in chat as well.