Possible Pet-play kink

[DomZomby]

My girl friend and i (dom/sub) have been dating for a few months now, we have not fully explored sex at all as we both decided it would be best to wait.

She loves when i call her a good girl or praise her in any way, yet i am still unsure of the kink i should pursue with her.

She asked that i get her a collar so the rest of the world knows she is mine and a leash to go with it, wants to wear cute outfits and call me daddy.

I am also very new to the experience but i love it so far and am unsure what to do to make her happy and an enjoyable experience for her. i do not want to be too demanding or controlling but i understand there is some aspect involved in this kind of relationship.

I suppose i am wondering how i should go about it, I myself come from a background of a "normal" sex life and have yet to delve into the depths of BDSM.

We have talked about what we like and don't like, have fooled around a little and every time is like a thunderstorm of sexual tension and love.

 

Me - Dom 7ft tall and large

Her - Sub 5'8 and very petite/shy

 

Should i talk to her and ask what she wants exactly?

Should i just assume control?

Should i wait till we have had sex before venturing into something more?

 

 

Please help!

Thankyou!

 

[Deleted Member]

Firstly you're very lucky to have found someone who clearly has an interest similar to yours. Don't assume control. Key to any type of D/s relationship is that the sub should consent to the control the Dom has. Do your research, there are all sorts of surveys test etc, to agree limits. You have a responsibility to look after her health and wellbeing and may need to slow her down as she may get a bit of sub frenzy. Of asking questions and finding experienced Doms and subs to talk to is also good. My own sub who was new to the life found a sub on here to chat to so that she could have some support.

[DomZomby]

Thank you so much!

I do consider myself incredibly lucky!

glad to hear from someone with experience!

[Deleted Member]

Definitely talk to her. It's perfectly normal to feel some pressure of what is expected of your new role as her Dom.
However it doesn't diminish you as a Dom to talk to her about what she wants, if anything she will likely respect you more for it.
A good Dom is respectful and nurturing to their sub. Yes she will want you take control in some aspects but more so in the bedroom and even then having told you what she likes she can feel safe that you won't go too far.
What's more is if she tells you she is interested but nervous about a certain thing you will know to try it but to be more cautious with it and check her reactions ect to see if it is enjoyable for her or not.
Now it does sound like she is into petplay though like with all labels and categories everyone is unique. By all means do some research and check out places as they often have FAQs ect. However like I said always remember that your sub will be unique and her interests may vary. So once again open and free communication is essential to a long and happy healthy D/S relationship.
It sounds like you value your sub a lot which is great and the fact you're asking for advice is a very good sign that you will be a great Dom to her. All the best :)

[cautiousswitch]

Ask her more specifically what she wants.

Collar and leash do not always mean pet play; it can also be about ownership.  Then the question goes to how committed an ownership.  To some people collaring means 24/7 to others it's the equivalent of a boy giving a girl his class ring.

What you describe outside the collar looks more like daddy dom/little girl or big/little.  They're pretty much the same except that most people see dd/lg as the girl acting more childish (playing with toys, coloring, etc) where big/little allows for more age range.  Other than wearing cute outfits you really haven't said anything to indicate she would want to be a little girl; wanting to wear a collar might indicate she wants to be more of a ***ager.

Best advice, find out her expectations, make sure she understands your expectations, and work out any compromise of how to best meet both.  Find out the level of commitment she expects of it - are you a dating couple who occasionally plays at a kink or does she want this to be more regular or 24/7? How deeply committed are to it too?

 

[Deleted Member]

Definitely communicate your wants and needs with her :) 

[DomZomby]

Update:

Thank you all so much for your advice, i really want to learn more and be all that i can be for her!

 

My girlfriend and i had a conversation of our wants and needs, and it seems as though she wants a big/little relationship.

As far as it being 24/7 though, i feel as though that it is going to be difficult as we both work late nights (does this really affect a 24/7 big/little relationship?).

At this time we only really delve into the kink side of things in the bedroom as i do not think i have grasped my day to day responsibilities and i feel as though i may praise her too much, is there such a thing as that?

the smile she gives me when i call her a "good girl" is just irresistible to me. 

We did however agree that outside of the bedroom she is able to tell me what i should/shouldn't have done.