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What in advise???


NoBS

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Posted

Hey Gals and guys!!

Hope all is doing good, if not Great?!!

 

Hope I don't fuck up your Day, but I need some opinions on my status.

Recently, I became another statistic for Cancer  web sites.  Diagnose w stage 3 Colon, and stage 2 testical

cancer.  My sex drive is there,. And almost , pressing alittle more to get someI!! .

Alot of people send a vibe,...

That I'm contagious!   Names not mentioned, though a lady friend, who I recently met, (10 days new), dropped on me that our future was limit to phone calls, because "being intimate could cause problems".

Thought maybe she was "gun shy",

Cause our conversation got pretty graphic,, and I thought she was uncomfortable with that!  No, ...

Because she was ,, "go down on me",

She was told by some I'll informed person, that she could contract what I have, because of Close proximity!

PEOPLE!!, CANCER IS NOT CONTAGIS.    YOU NOT GET SICK IF YOU TOUCH A CANCER PATIENT!!!

   Now that I've ranted,... My Question is this,   Should I Give up trying to Play,. While going through this treatment??

What would you do?  My sex life is important to me, and, I hope the partner, or partners, feel that way too!

Maybe I'm being convoluted by the cancer ***. Maybe I'm going "over the top" to get some,. Because honestly, Reality is, I may not survive.

Am I being greedy, or "one sided"?

I hope I'm not and my respect and feeling towards a partner is always based on standards. Respect devotion, and happiness.

PLEASE I NEED FEEDBACK!

HAVE A GREAT DAY MY FELLOW KINGSTERS!!

 

 

Posted

Honestly hun keep looking ….. I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis…. It must be so scary to be in that position… but if you are still up for it keep trying ….. there will be a kind understanding lady out there somewhere just for you ….. who won’t make you feel awkward ….. good luck with your search 🤗🤗🤗

Posted

So sorry to hear this news.

Why should you stop your search...... as long as your straight with the people you get involved with then I don't see an issue.
Just my opinion. Really hope you get some good news soon mate. X

Posted

I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis, Honestly in my opinion it is best to avoid ignorant and ill-educated, it’s probably a blessing in disguise. However, I don’t think you should disclose your diagnosis immediately, if your treatment has side effects then you will need to be transparent about this when you can gauge if you feel that person is compatible with you. In my opinion, don’t allow your diagnosis or others determine what is right for you, you will find someone. Best of luck

Posted

I echo the comments above. Life is short if ignorant idiots can't see what you have to offer, drop them and move on. There are definitely loads of intelligent like minded people who will appreciate you.

Posted

First off.  Really sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

Your main focus has to be pulling through this.  Whilst kink can be a welcome distraction - I can imagine there being assorted headfucks from not telling someone and feeling like you're keeping it from them, or telling them and worried they're only doing stuff cos they feel sorry for you.

Focus on your recovery, for sure.

Posted

Yeah, give up tryng to play - health comes first. You'll probably find you no longer care about play soon anyway, some cancer treatments are tough. Concentrate on what's important, play ain't that important compared to fighting cancer.

Posted
5 hours ago, bittenkiss said:

Yeah, give up tryng to play - health comes first. You'll probably find you no longer care about play soon anyway, some cancer treatments are tough. Concentrate on what's important, play ain't that important compared to fighting cancer.

I agree health comes first but in this case play may actually help.

Personally, I wouldn't give up play until I had to, especially if I didn't know how long I had to live....

The OP, I think, is considering giving up because of how other people react rather than because of health issues.

 

My dad passed away from cancer a few years ago. His oncologist told him to do things he enjoyed for as long as he could. He did. 

 

As far as I'm aware sex doesn't affect your health negatively, in fact it's been shown to improve it.

The OP has lost enough, why should he have to give up this too?

Posted

I just recently completed my own battle with colon/rectal cancer (stage 3).  It was quite an ordeal, but doable.  The secret seemed to be, to take it just one day at a time.  I simply thought about living that day, and doing what I needed to do.  My only thought of the future involved counting-down the steps required to get through this.  I was encouraged by the fact that survival odds were now in my favor.  Cancer treatments have developed significantly in just the past 5 years.

Yes, it can be an emotional roller-coaster.  Chemo *** can really magnify this.  The daily trips for radiation treatments can also be quite stressful and fatiguing (130-mile daily round-trip in my case).  It does seem like it will never end.  The passing of time seems to slow to a crawl.  Life will seem unreal.

Hopefully, when the time comes for surgery, the doctor will use the new robotic equipment (the da Vinci machine).  This was the surgery that I had, and the trauma and scarring were minimal.  You will likely have to deal with a temporary ostomy, for a month-or-so.  This can also be quite emotionally traumatic.  But, as long as the doctor says "reversible", you can hold hope that it won't be permanent.  Still, orgasms will likely be quite ***ful for the first couple months after surgery.  But, that too will pass.  Hopefully, you won't have the surgical complications that I had.  I was always in great shape, and had "six-pack" abs.  The ostomy had to be passed between my abdominal muscles, and those built-up muscles kept pinching the ostomy closed.  So, I had to spend the month-and-a-half between surgeries, being feed off a tube.  After the final surgery, that undid the ostomy, the doctor came to congratulate me.  "You beat this!", he exclaimed.  Me, being a smart-ass, replied, "Then why do I feel like the one who just got his ass kicked?"

Finally, come the long months of chemo.  This will also be quite grueling, and you may feel that it will never end.  You may lose feeling in the bottoms of your feet, and walking barefoot may feel like stepping on an electrified floor.  Picking up anything cold may also become ***ful.  But, this will pass after the end of treatment.  Again, it will be very emotionally draining, and your feelings may be all over the place.  If you have a regular doctor, try to keep in touch with him/her during your chemo treatments.  Chemo is poison, and serious reactions are not uncommon.  Moreover, oncologists can be somewhat lax in this department.  Your regular physician will be much-more on top of your health.  If you start to get too sick, your doctor can have your oncologist adjust your chemo dosage.  Or, if you begin to feel constant aching in you legs, this may be from *** clots---a common side effect from surgery and chemo.  These are easily treatable with *** thinners.  Time may seem to stand still.  But, it will eventually end.

On a positive note, you will likely emerge from this, stronger than when you went in!  You will find an inner strength that you never knew that you had, and all of Life's BS will suddenly seem meaningless and trivial.  It is truly a life-changing experience.  You have emerged victorious from a literal battle to the death.  How many can say that?  There will be times, when you seriously consider throwing in the towel.  You may want to quit the treatments, or just lay-down and give-up.  The fatigue of this grueling ordeal may seem like too much.  But, think about the prize that awaits at the other end.  It is a feeling that mere words can't describe.  You can get through this!

Truly, I am not trying to scare you.  Instead, I am hoping that these brutal facts will help you to gather the strength needed to vanquish this mortal enemy.  I could simply say, "I got through this, so you can too."  But, who wants to hear such patronizing BS?  If at any time, you need to talk to someone about this, feel free to message me.  You will find many allies during this fight.  As a side note, the pics in my profile were taken while I was in the midst of chemo treatments.  I was pale, I had lost weight, and my hair had become thin and like straw.  A progression of hair-loss is noticeable in those pics.  There is also a shot of when I was younger, showing how I looked before cancer.  I am now gradually returning to that previous look.  So, there is hope.

Honestly, during all of that, I never met anyone so ignorant, that they thought cancer was contagious.  It sounds like that other person is not the right one for you.  Yes, there are those who will support you in your fight.  While I was in the hospital, a buddy stayed at my house, feeding my cats and minding my affairs.  I have no family, so my friends stepped-in to help.  Though I lived alone, I was never truly alone.

Posted

While playing is so much fun your not going to have energy to.play while your going threw treatment. My dad add cancer an was so ill an needed lots of sleep.

Also your immune system is going to be low so you need to be careful who you are around.

Although I'm female an want have the cancer you have feel free to pm me any time you need or want a chat

  • 1 year later...
Posted

So, the only way I know of to possibly contract cancer from someone else is through passing on HPV (Human papillomavirus), an STI that can cause cancers like cervical cancer in people. Younger generations are being inoculated against it. 

So, depending on your ex's understating of the type of cancer you have, or some misinformation she has about HPV, that might explain her reaction.

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